New totty on the block

Guess what guys... Jungle bones are saying there is a new bit of totty on the block. Born Christmas eve last year, White cream fur (don't you just love blondes) one eye blue one brown and a husky to boot. They say her name is Cleo, which is short for Cleopatra... And you know how beautiful she was supposed to be! That darn cat is winding me up aswell. You know we redesigned the bed cover the other day... Well she thinks now that she can use my bedroom window as her front door all through the night, going out to parties and coming in at three am making as much noise as she wants. And she jumped on the new clean bed, but at least my feet are bigger than hers and I won't get the blame this time. Then this morning Brutus the buzzard was about, he doesn't look quite so dangerous now, but he still has those huge nails on his toes. He just sits there on the top of a telegraph pole looking at you. Never seems to move or blink and it still physc's me out. Had to lend big sis Theia my seat belt today... She's gone off with her two legged boyfriend joy riding round the county. Hope she's having a good time, cause I just love being in the car. Means you are going where ever they are. Cool! Bet she's stretched it and I have to alter back to fit me. And I bet they go to MacDonalds for lunch.... Oh remind me to tell her indoors I need a new collar, this one is getting a bit tight and it won't let out anymore. Fancy something a bit loud but I bet she says it has to be school uniform blue or black. Where's the fun in that? Merlins cart harnesses are both black but his new one has a red edging... Really smart to match the Ferarri. Then there is Roade to consider... Need something dressy for that. I saw the picture of Mr Barnaby on the web page the other day... Red Rose, red bow tie and he looked a proper dude. Well suppose I had better put some effort into work. Got to pay for that new collar somehow . Take care all, keep your eyes open for that blond guys. Cool runnings Gryff

Guess what I discovered this morning

Ok guys, I found puppy heaven this morning. Up as normal at five am, nice hot breakfast after a game in the garden with Theia and then back to bed for a quick kip. Now normally I would be reclining gracefully in my flat, but today I managed to sneak past the security guards and head off upstairs on my own. I know, soft bones and all that, but it just had to be done. Don't give a dog a challenge if you don't want him to do it!!! Anyway , me and Slice n dice slipped off upstairs un noticed, and there was this lovely huge cream coloured double bed. Now I know that when Slice n dice wants to get on it she takes a running jump from just by the door, so if it's good enough for her , I can do it too. Bit of speed, flap of the ears and we have lift off...... AWESOME. Nobody told me you bounce up and down for a few seconds after you land but who cares. Anyway had a bit of a ruckle around , parked my delicate little butt at the top and chilled down. Feels a bit odd when your bum is higher than your head but I can cope. Then Slice n dice decides she might aswell join in. Flying leap from the door, landed on the bed and then blow me if she didn't bounce right off and land nose first into the window. You know those cartoons where you see them hit the window and then slide down it.... Well I swear that's what she did. Anyway problem was the noise made her indoors come flying upstairs to see what was going on. How was I supposed to know you didn't put your butt on the pillows, and I liked the paw pattern we had decorated it with. Really personalised the cover.... Would have signed it if she had asked me to. Could have been worth a load of bones as modern art or something. No eye for talent some people. Anyway I like it so I am going to try again another day ON MY OWN so I don't get caught and have a proper snooze. Anyway you remember I was saying about Roade in May, well just been across to BowWows in March (07773168312) (£35-£40)and booked in with Merlin and the girls to have our fur washed and dried. They all had theirs done before I arrived so they looked their best for the sponsored walk and cart pull. Anyway I want to look good cause Merlin says there is mega totty there. Better than any mixed dog get together cause they will all be my type. They do your ears your nails and all your special bits and pieces, and he says if you ask politely they will trim your feet for you. You know how funny women are about men's feet!!! Lady didn't recognise me because I have grown so much. Tell you one thing, she won't lift me up as easily as she did last time come May. I will be 6 months old and well on the way to four or five stone, bless her. The girls can even have a proper pedicure thing and then have their nails painted.... Why can I see Freya in bright pink ??? Better still I could decorate the bed cover and she could put some pink bits on it to finish it off. Bet her indoors would really like that. AWESOME. Oh guess who I saw this morning. Hat pulled over his eyes, dark glasses, turned up collar on his coat, you got it... I swear it was the Grizzly Troll. Do Trolls live forever like vampires? because I would have put bones on it that he was at the bottom of the garden. On a plus, that means we can have those parties we were planning for the summer now .SAUSAGES nanny Broels, sausages! Or maybe beef burgers. They say that Uncle Finnigan loved them, and would win any BBQ eating competition. Got some pictures of him and his lady Miss Gracie on the wall. Looks a bit like something from Gone with the Bones, or Paw Story. All mushy and soppy and kissy. Yuck! Anyway , best I be off now and get things sorted.nothing like creating havoc and somebody else carrying the can for it.LOL. Stay well everybody. Cool runnings. Gryff

Busted !

Called round to see you Alex my mate. Where were you, missed you again on Saturday, not cool.... And into the bargain I got busted for counter surfing. For weeks now I have been really careful not to get up on my back legs so them indoors wouldn't realise how big I was getting. It was easy really cause her indoors has this thing about soft growing baby bones being damaged. Nobody is allowed to jump up, or push my bum down for a sit and stuff like that cause she reckons it can damage my skeleton , what ever that is! Any way for the past two weeks I have managed to counter surf unsuspected. It's been quite profitable, odd bit of cat biscuits, some corned beef and on Saturday my all time favourite.... Three chocolate biscuits nicked from Aunty Sarahs packet on the table at work. Then just as I got down, SHE saw me, BUSTED! It's like Stalag K9 now...... Somebody is always watching me. It's not my fault that the others got the blame. In my opinion Princess Freya is a bit on the broad side... A minute on the lips a lifetime on her hips. I keep telling her but she won't listen. She says it's all the running around and she's muscled up. Yeh Yeh Yeh. All she worries about is her figure her lippy etc. Technically Freya is dads dog. When great uncle Teague died of cancer a couple of years ago, dad was gutted. He kept wandering around all upset and miserable till she indoors couldn't take any more. She spent three weeks looking for a pup, and could only come up with two girls... No fella's. She thought that perhaps that was a good thing, cause of the state he was in. Anyway on the Saturday morning after changing his mind ninety nine million times they set off up the motorway to go and see this puppy. Three hours into the drive he changes his mind again. Not going any further....give mum her due she didn't loose it but went and shut herself in the loo and made a phone call. She told the breeder how he was, and said when we arrive, ignore me and as soon as he sits down, plonk the pup in his lap. BINGO. First kiss and he was in love. I agree, in this case a girl was a good idea... No comparisons to the iconic Teagles. Dad has his name as his number plate and his collar and bandana close to paw. Freya on the other paw, can twist him into little fluffy knots. She keeps sitting up and giving him a high five or even a ten, or she will jump up and give him a real girly kiss. He thinks we don't know, but she gets extra walks and lots of what we call Daddy Days. We know that they are watching tv together in the afternoons, and eating biscuits with their cuppa. The good bit is that Ghostie gets a bit of tlc aswell. Ghostie came from the wrong side of town, so he is a bit of a scaredy cat and doesn't know what's wrong or right all the time.... So he shares in the daddy days to keep him chilled. Oh and another thing, all Miss Freyas stuff is pink. To help dad remember he had a little girl, all her bowls, leads and brushes were bought in pink. She even had a pink bag and mum put lipsticks and nail polishes in there, as well as painting her nails bright bright pink. Made dad laugh through the tears. Changing the subject.... Somebody asked if we were going to the carting at Roade, Northampton this year. The family have gone for the last couple of years but this will be my first time. Aunty Jackie is putting some photos on of me in the Ferarri in the snow. I look AWESOME! And so does Merlin. Can't wait till I can cart too. Last time, they all stopped in aunty jackies caravan and had a bt of a party..... Then about 2am somebody was shouting for their dog Harvey. Excellent, can't wait. Think Miss Flo might have a go at carting too. It's good fun so they tell me, and last year seven dogs with a couple of carts raised nearly £3000 for charity. Mum wants to have a go at agility... She saw that and the dancing at Stoneleigh last year. She can think again if she wants Merlin and me to have a go. Don't mind the thought of agility but dancing...NO WAY !!!Anyway, it's time I sorted out work. Lots of things need doing and sorting out. Goes to rack and ruin if I am not there. You get those three nut cases working together and anything can happen, and I mean ANYTHING!.Needs a firm paw from me I can tell you. Don't forget if there is anything you want to share.... HEALTH TIPS! GOOD GROOMERS! FUN RECIPES! ANYTHING THEN SEND IT IN . Take care all. Talk soon. Cool runnings Gryff

If you have read yesterday's blogg, you will be aware that Merlin Freya Theia and I each have had a paw in the excavation of a rather glorious hole at the bottom of the garden. Under guidance from Theia,who desperately wants a career in landscaping and design, or failing that demolition work, we rather fancied making it into a fish pond or one of those mud bath things that you girls do to keep your fur at it's best BUT somebody has filled it in. The question is why? Wrong location, wrong shape or depth? OR IS THERE SOMETHING BURIED IN IT? Anyway after a hurried discussion over breakfast, we decided as a group it might be politic to let sleeping Trolls lie, and start another excavation somewhere else. Now as I say Theia really really wants a career in landscaping, irrespective of where.... Beaches, sand dunes, woods, river banks ( she really gets miffed at mole hills and jumps on them out of spite) anywhere anytime she is your girl. So after giving the matter due consideration she marked out a spot dead centre of the lawn. Equi- distant to boundaries, bound to catch the sun, even the fluff balls can go around it, so X marks the spot. Big hole, big big hole, HUGE HOLE. Excellent! A work of art, carefully signed by all involved. Good job it's thawed around here or we could have been in trouble! Question is now....what do we do with it? Any polite suggestions? Obviously now the garden is designated an area of Troll interest with a ceremonial burial plot the wild parties we had planned might be considered in bad taste. Should think summer BBQ 's will still be ok though... Sausages!!! Yes I know nanny Broels, I really am being a good boy. Got my addiction under control now, but at the cost of Tuna and mums bone casserole which is wonderful. Anyway, do you think we should write to English Heritage or somebody like that... We could charge for entry and send the money to one of the rescue centres? That would please her indoors and there would be less chance of anybody finding him! Where she buried the bits of chickens after the fox got in is now under the patio , so they can rest in peace so to speak. Well any ideas will be looked at with interest. O and while I think about it there is a health warning....PARVO VIRUS IN AND AROUND THE LEICESTER AREA! SO BE CAREFUL DUDES! When you look at us Berners, we are a really unusual group...Merlin,50kg and a racing driver stroke bodyguard/bouncer, Freya, frequently called HRH La diva, all pink , yes everything, bowls leads collars handbags nail polish lippy tiara and pinkish bags on her treats, Theia,a perfect Tom boy, digging, chasing, all in wrestling, and me, Mr Perfect.(yeh yeh yeh heard it all before)Some English some aussi and some French. What a mix.... It's brill. Oh and I spent this morning getting to know my litter bros Saxon again. AWESOME. Sent three hours nearly chasing around, peeing on beds and then we had a synchronised poop.... Right in the middle of his mums kitchen floor. Glad he started it, cause her indoors would have not been impressed otherwise. As it was she did seem a little put out but hey excitement got the better of us. Anyway have another invite so can't have been all bad. Anyway time I slipped off, can smell something interesting in the kitchen.....play eat rest, play eat rest, canine heaven. Just before I go, could you spare a thought for Dougal who has just left his forever family, for rainbow bridge and his family.... Our thoughts are with you. Will say ttfn, cool runnings Gryff

O M G

Well how did your Valentines day go? Meal out, chocs, a dozen red roses? Hope you got the lot! Mine I have to say was a bit stressful.... And the Grizzly Trolls was extremely shitty! She who must be obeyed got us all out of bed at three am, yes three in the morning to get all the orders out. The grizzly troll gave her an unusual present, and since he has been missing assumed dead for the last twenty four hours, we can only assume she didn't like it! She who must be obeyed drives Merlins Mitzi 4wd which again is bright red. Proves how rich he is cause it's got all the whistles and buttons that a k9 could need. Tinted windows, air con, sunshine tip and tilt roof add infinitum. He didn't miss a thing when he ordered it.... Clever boy. Anyway unfortunately for the SECOND time the Grizzly Troll has reversed it into something and put a thumping great heart shaped dent in it, together with taking out two clusters of lights and denting the boot. what he did before was instead of putting the car in reverse and engaging the reversing sensors he just let it roll back and hit a post. He took it to the garage and got it sorted BUT the garage rang she who must be obeyed to say the work was done. In addition since the vehicle was under warranty they could find no problem with the sensors as they had just checked them. Now she being of sound mind said why should there be a problem when A) she had not been driving at the time and B) who had told them the sensor was not working?..... You got it THE GRIZZLY TROLL. Now this time he hit something much larger than a post but won't say what, but odds on he did the same again, and she went straight into orbit when she saw it.... It is so quiet at home cause she isn't speaking to him and we have a theory that since the huge hole we all dug at the bottom of the garden is now filled in that is probably where we would find him if we looked. OOPS! In his defence ....... It's no good, can't think of a thing to say... If it had been his car the world would have probably stopped turning by now. Anyway on a brighter note Theia was brave enough to send a single red Rose, which was accepted so she is a very happy bunny, and Merlin saw fit to send some to a lady he knows.( told you he is loaded). All I want now is to catch up on my sleep. met our new friend Bryn today... Nice guy. Bit rustic but since he is a farm boy what can you expect. Bless him they tried to drown him in the bath he was telling me in between nicking my chewy sticks. I know the feeling , I have had at least four baths and all with shampoo! Yuck! He was well happy when he went home, and I think he will make a perfect gentleman given the odd lesson in manners..... Like returning my chewy stick! And then tomorrow I am having brunch with my brother Saxon. That crazy dog has now eaten and passed three socks. I blame the people leaving them lying around.... Well who else can you blame? Ghostie is still not a hundred percent still. Nearly at the end of his pills too so I am going to make sure I am out somewhere if he has to go back to the vets. My street cred is pretty good at the moment, and I want to keep it that way. Anyway time for a bit of shut eye, tea was excellent..Kebab and biscuits. One thing I will say for her indoors, she see's no reason why we shouldn't eat well and varied. Variety is the spice of life, and thank goodness she doesn't mean just cans. Will say ttfn, have a good day. Cool runnings Gryff

Fatty go lightly

Well as you have probably gathered I am pleased to announce that I now weigh more than I think Brutus the buzzard can fly off with. I no longer worry that I am his lunch on the hoof and it gave me great pleasure to stand and bark at him yesterday while out snow ploughing. Sadly having been out this morning before work ( yes Sundays aswell) I think that I have probably seen the last of my game for a while. Him indoors is also beginning to annoy again... Keeps calling me names like porky pooch, B russell pate as well as b Russell sprout, and probably my least favourite frog dog. A not so subtle dig at my ancestry ... Calls Merlin an Auzzie too. Now if he wants to do it properly it should be Le Grenouille or even if he thinks I am getting FAT Le Grenouille grand..... But then he is only a country bumpkin so what can you expect? Do you think he thinks we don't understand? That we don't know when someone is being impolite? Well he is wrong.... I think we do a better job of speaking Human than most people do of speaking canine. At least we try and work out what you want from us, and let's face it that's not always very easy to do. When you talk to each other you frequently say things with double meanings or the tone of your voice is opposite to the words you use. My personal favourite is YES DEAR! It can be so sarcastic you could cut yourself on it or so sickly you want to be ill, or just occaisionally you actually mean it. it's like you smile at us and show us your rows of expensive pearly whites, and to us a double set of teeth means something entirely different... I rest my case! Anyway now I have had a little moan as befitting my station in life, I want to share a useful bit of information with you... You know I said about her indoors cooking bones for us in the slow cooker and it's wonderful. Well did you know that butchers now have to pay to have all those lucious bones taken away.... It actually costs them money.. What is the world coming to? So my advice to all you canines is have a gentle word with them indoors and get them to the nearest proper butchers ASAP. The bones that are huge can go down the garden for a snack and the rest in the pot. Add a few veg , a bit of bran perhaps, and let it stew till all the bits of meat fall off , remove the bald bones and then let it cool till all the fat comes to the top. If you take the fat off solid, that can go on the bird table out of our way. The jelly that's left is wonderful on your dinner, or melted and poured over your biscuits as soup. Healthy diet, clean teeth ( saving money at the vets) and helping the economy into the bargain . NICE ONE! Have to be honest and say them indoors do buy the odd tin of biscuits or chocolates for the butchers as a thanku, but generally speaking we just get more bones next time around. Not a bad tip for a youngster . Just before I go, I would like to say a beg HELLO to a new arrival on the block.... Brynmore Enchanted Odin... To his mates Bryn. He is as we speak travelling up from Welsh Wales to his forever home with Aunty Kath and Uncle Mike. Though you have some huge paw prints on hearts to fill I know Miss Trinity would be pleased by your arrival. No canine likes to see someone they love so sad because they couldnt stay any longer. Go for it mate, and if there's any problems with accents or translations, just give us a bark and I will ask her indoors...... Her family come from a long line of Welsh dragons. Love to hear from anybody with other recipes for us pooches. Take care for now all.. Cool runnings Gryff

Sexy seatbelts

Hi everyone, and especially my friend Alex..... U keep popping up mate, so take care. How are u all doing in the new snow? Excellent isn't it. Hopefully we have a couple more days of it, so I can continue practising to be a snow plough even if the local council won't pay me. From what I have seen , their snow ploughs are scared to go out on their own, saw three together last night. Wimps! Anyway, who among you wear seat belts when you are travelling? I know lots of us have the boot to ourselves with a guard across or even a crate for safety, but today I was really glad I was wearing a canine seatbelt. Bearing in mind I weigh a mere three stone, compared to the fatties in the back six stone plus, it's her indoors practice to keep any youngsters on the seat by her wearing a seal belt. Now in our van there is a guard fitted behind the seats so although the guys know when it's Macdonalds and can ask for all the windows down in summer so their ears can flap and cool them down, they can't actually drive or press any buttons for themselves. But me, she has made me wear a seat belt from day one, even when they picked me up and I went home in the back seat with her sitting with me. Now I have to say that I have been an absolute little s@@@ with this thing.....I hate it. I have a double seat and sometimes I manage to get in such a knot, then she twizzles the thing and it's ok again. Plus of course now I am big enough to see out of the windows and totty spot. Anyway, this morning we were following a van which to me seemed miles ahead of us, when we came to a junction where a small lane joins the main road . We had been watching two cars coming down the lane and you could see they were struggling . Give them their due they were slowing down and then all of a sudden the first one just slid straight on to the main road, and the second one piled into his boot and both shot right into the way of us vans. The van in front just clipped one of the cars and did a lovely double axle, ending up the way it was planning on going, and us we decided an emergency stop was drastically needed, but managed to avoid everybody. Now I know that if I hadn't been in a seatbelt I would have been in real trouble, because I heard the big dogs being thrown sideways. For all the care our owners take of us, and the fact that we let them drive our cars..YES OUR CARS! HAVEN'T YOU HEARD THEM SAY " I BOUGHT THE CAR FOR THE DOG) I will never again moan about my seatbelt. Anyway everybody was ok, just bits of metal reshaped and gentlemen????? giving voice to other gentlemen. I looked at mum, she looked at me and we decided we would quietly disappear and let them play. After all the important thing was no dog or person was hurt and bits of metal can be replaced. Anyway if you will excuse me, I can feel the snow calling me......cool runnings Gryff