Cracked it

Cracked it.... I know exactly how to wind up the Grizzly Troll, no sweat. It was so easy, like taking a biscuit from a puppy. As I have explained before, us Berners have our own dog room which connects to the utility and the kitchen all of which have cream floor tiles. The dog room is like our own private conservatory and has under floor heating and through cool air. All I have to do is wait till he has just cleaned all the Walls down and washed all the floors and then pray for rain.... You got it. Go rushing out into the rain, run about on the lawn or the flower beds and then go flying indoors, a quick shake here, quick shake there, here a shake, there a shake, every where a shake shake, then go flying into the utility , do a power slide into the kitchen, smack my tail over the cooker for good measure and then do a total runner before he has time to catch me.... Anybody got the weather forecast... I just have to know!!!! Revenge is sweet. Been on the paw book, and would like to say "thinking of you and yours" . Seems to be a bit of a rough time for two legs loosing their forever Berners. Just remember that you carry them safe inside your hearts. Each one is irreplaceable but they would not want you to be on your own.... They need to know that you have a Berner to keep you safe, and they will hand that duty on to the next one that enters your life. Cool runnings Gryff

In the poo.......again!

I am beginning to seriously dislike the Troll..... He spent all day yesterday wandering around the country with Miss Freya, comes home in the middle of the night and expects me not to bark and give him up to mum. Then this morning, when I am indulging in a little counter surfing he catches me and goes bonkers because I have pinched his wallet. If the cat hadnt knocked it off the table I wouldnt have bothered , and how was I supposed to know those crinkly purply things were twenty pound notes. And since I'm asking...WHAT IS A TWENTY POUND NOTE? well three of them to be exact. If it had been bones or Paddywack ,well I know they are valuable and currency of the K9 but what use is paper apart from chewing on it. AND AND! he said this other woman had bought him the wallet. What's that all about then. Bet her indoors doesn't know! Up at the crack of Dawn today with lots of things to do. You had better all remember that it's Mother K9 day on Sunday. Go for all the bonus points you can, and don't forget to make them put your name on the card. O and lots of kisses to. I have been watching an expert lady killer at work today.... When you have it use it is Merlins motto. Threw a major wobbly and he had aunty Jackie massaging bits I didn't know needed rubbing. Think she ought to train in that Tellington Touch. You should see his eyes, they start winding in opposite directions and his bottom jaw goes all wobbly. Canine heaven if you ask me. But the thing is he can get any lady fussing over him and telling him how handsome he is.... Ok the guys what do I do about the Grizzly Troll????? Got to get my own back! Thought about putting my worming tablet in his tea but he would find it, or lying down at the side of his chair and pooping so he gets the blame... Just can't think of anything that would really wind him up. Anyway it's supper time so I have to go and sort our pizza out. Cheese and ham ...AWESOME. Anyway take care all. Cool runnings Gryff

End result

Well what do you think... My bones were on the Newfy or the Borzoi but then again I like something a bit bigger than my teddy bear. The Grizzly Troll was not impressed. Seemed to think he wanted more dog for the money. Anything above spaniel size from what I could make out. Didnt matter what as long as there was more of it. Been talking it over and I definitely want to go. All that hot totty, blondes, curles , long legs , sexy tails.... Yes just got to go. Liked the style of the curly coat thing. Lots of attitude and look at me I SAID LOOK AT ME!! AWESOME. When it comes down to it, it is just one persons preference, even if the gent does judge a hundred breeds plus. The Troll managed to embarrass himself. Caught him blubbering at the canine friends bit. He said they all deserved first prize and the money to their charity. And did you see the bit about hearing dogs especially for the kids.wish I was half the dog they all are, Well I probably am size wise, but I think they are MEGA AWESOME. Any dog that can do a job like that or serve in the forces deserves all the good things and the love we can give. Don't know why the two legs think we need so much training though. I always know when there is something not right with her indoors. I can feel it!! Mind you she does the same to me. Usually when I don't want her to know what I have been up to.!! Saw Brutus this morning, somehow he doesn't look as big as he used to. Can remember being terrified of him but now...... Oh well guess I have grown up a bit. Theia looks like she has made it up with her boyfriend. She keeps disappearing and having to be fetched back. Think we all think the same.... Not good enough for her, but she won't listen. Wouldn't be so bad but Dick fancies her and a couple of other guys have got a soft spot for her, but she just won't listen. Typical female if you ask me. Anybody would think it was spring... All the birds are in twos, the rabbits ( too polite to tell you what I saw them doing) even saw two foxes but they may be a gay couple cause you can't tell which from tuther.... If you know what I mean. This growing up certainly takes a lot of getting used to. Anyway, it's time I went and sorted out tea.... Bone casserole if I am not mistaken... Smells yummy. Take care all.... Cool runnings

Have you been watching it?????

Well have you.... Every chance I have had I have been watching Crufts. I made them video the bits that I wasn't there for and I checked on all the bernese classes as soon as I could. Congrats to nanny Broels and a certain close relative of mine, and to nanny Sonja too. Funny how some of the names keep popping up and then some almost totally disappear. There is that core of about ten or twelve names that are always there or there a bouts . I suppose really since this is my first Crufts I shouldn't say too much, but at least our breed seems to have passed all the medical tests. Guess the KC has to make a stand because of the way people feel about the animals they love...I know had mad mum gets when she thinks about Finny and all his problems that were caused by the breeder.... Now St Bernards are on the refer list as they well should be. Finny made it to two and a half that's all... He was cheated and nothing can change that now. It doesn't matter mum rescued him, he was cheated of so much love and happiness and time with a forever family. It's bad enough when a disease strikes, but to knowingly breed animals that you know will die prematurely or suffer great pain is obscene. Then for every animal bred like that there is a family that can do nothing to stop it happening and then have to make the final decision. They will always wonder if they were at fault or did they make the right decisions? All because somebody else wanted to win a dog show or make serious money. It's time we all started looking at things a but differently. I want to live till I am twelve or more, I want to have a great big party when I am a hundred with all my friends there with me. There will be sausages, bones liver cake with candles everything we like to eat. I don't want to end up at the vets with cancer at six like so many of my breed do... I want to stay with my forever family forever! To do this you need to look at what you are doing and not just worry about how "pretty" a dog will look in the show ring. You need to widen the gene pool and stop line breeding so tightly. If you translated it into human terms then kissing cousins wouldn't even be in it. Grandparents to grandchildren , a set of grandparents the same on both sides of the family... You would get arrested!! Thankfully for me, my nanny looks after her dogs in this respect so I hope I am safe. It's quite possible to do for any breeder who will act responsibly. My mate Merlin has a breed coi of less than one and he comes from a posh well known place that's always winning stuff. As I said, I want to live a long happy and healthy life without my breeds past coming back and taking it away from me. As you can see I really do feel strongly about this, yes I would love to go there myself but if I never get there and get my party, which do you think I would rather have? And this applies to every dog there. When you look at all the good things that can come from Crufts, Pat dogs, discover dogs, the agility assistance and hero dogs, why have we let one side of it take such a toll that certain large organisations no longer support it or put it on tv. Dogs need all the help they can get, and remember that we love unconditionally , so perhaps that's what people need to do with us. Love us for what we are, not for the colour of the rosette they want us to win. Ok now I will get off my soap box.... Mum wants it to put the washing out anyway. Did you see that new poop scoop. Magic it was. Yellow and black I think it was... Ideal for the garden, but too big to take on a walk, and all that lovely food. I really really liked that bakery stall, with the biscuits scones and chocolate fairy cakes for dogs. It was amazing and so big. Looked every where for Aunty Judith on the Fish4dogs stand but guess they were in a different hall. And did you see all the special coats about now... No reason to be too hot, too cold or not float when you are out on a boat..... Anyway time for me to watch a bit more. Don't you just love the dancing and the agility and all the things we can do if we put our paws to it. Hope you are enjoying it too. Cool runnings Gryff

Girly bits

Ok now I am fed up.... What is it with females and babies.... Everyone is either talking puppies or Crufts if not both. Who wants thousands of wingeing puppies making a mess, stealing your dinner and hanging off your ears. OOOOPPPSSSS! Sorry Theia, guess that's what I have been doing to you! Always wondered why she indoors offered to lend you all her earrings, guess I know now. There's Freya Flo and now Theia... What's wrong with them all.GIRLS! Who needs them! And don't tell me I will when I am older , cause I don't believe you. SO THERE? Give me a bone a walk and my grub and I will be fine thanku very much. Oh and they are now talking about sticking me in a show, whatever that is. I can always tell when her indoors has been talking to Nanny Broels, my sausage quota goes through the floor. Anybody would think I am totally addicted instead of half addicted. Now I could go a bone anytime, problem is the darn things are that big I can't get my mouth around them to move them somewhere safe if I have to go out or to work. It's really a bit of a @@@@@@ . Never mind I will sort it, you wait and see. On the subject of Crufts, just remember that you all arrive with the best dog, and leave with the best dog... Doesn't matter if they win.. NO IT DOESN'T, it's the fact that they love you to bits so enjoy yourselves. Try treating your two legs to a special toy or treat. Tell me about all the unusual bits and pieces, o and go and say hello to my Aunty Judith on the Fish4Dogs stand. She's a bit of hot stuff, all blonde and gorgeous. Been ages since I have seen her. Anyway say hello from me. There might be a couple of others or interest to you Bernese, see if Ann Rees Equestrian is there... I know but she makes cracking carting harnesses for Berners. Merlin has a red and black one for the Ferarri and our mate Dexter has just ordered one. AWESOME. And then there's BIG PAW embroidery. Mum has a red coat with a Berner on it. Some gold paw prints which remember the dogs she has lost but carries in her heart, and our pedigree family name. Cool! Anyway, I suppose I had better show my face for work soon. Her indoors was supposed to retire in two weeks time but it's all gone pear shaped. Nobody wanted us to go so we are stopping on for another year.... Hope she knows what she's doing. I quite fancied staying on the bed till ten or eleven , having brunch, wandering down to the coast, a late lunch on the beach....WHAT IS SHE DOING???? I think she ought to retire. Bless her nobbly old bones. Don't forget.. Enjoy Crufts and the best dog is you win or lose. Cool runnings Gryff

Ok where is it... I was due a day off and it's gone missing. All week I have been going to work, every night I have been looking after her indoors and somebody nicked my day off. And the troll is annoying me to pieces. Been up with mum every night this week , three or four times and then this morning he comes wandering in with a cup of tea like he is the saviour of cups of tea! Just wanders in, picks me up off the bed and then puts me in my flat..... Just who does he think he is... Where was he at two a m this morning. He has just got to go! Grrrrrr. He left his trainers lying around last night and I found them this morning, so having given the matter some thought, I took one and left it about half way up the stairs.....he found it, nearly fell down stairs...ooooopppsssss! It was in the light, so all had to do was look where he was going! And, and he has been Messing Around with our bone casserole. We are not amused.! He really is pushing his luck! Big sister Freya is going to the vets on Monday. Lady things that I don't want to know about, and he wants to take Merlins red car.... In hs dreams! It's only been mended a week since the last time he borrowed it. Merlin is throwing a major fit over it. Then poor theia's boyfriend has done a bunk. Did try and tell her that two legged guys can't be trusted. Trouble is she isn't eating, and we can't find much to tempt her..... Not even casserole. About the only thing she fancies is chocolate which is really bad for dogs. Told her minute on the lips ,lifetime on the hips but she doesn't seem to care. Poor Tizzy, Did try introducing her to a gentleman who was kind enough to do the break pads on my van yesterday. His name is Dick, and he's a really nice bloke. Bit old for Theia but knows how to look after a lady. They spent an hour or so with him showing her all the tricks of the trade and having a bit of a natter so perhaps that will help. Lot to be said for older men, just like me! Well I will be soon! I noticed a message from my mate Bryn... All I can say is I know what you mean mate. But on the good side, you won't have to go again. Sorry we couldn't make the weekend but her indoors is not good, mind you neither are your two legs. Think they must all be wearing out together. Need to say hello to my ate Alex aswell. Cool mate, hope school is going ok. Just stuck my nose outside... It's bucketing down with rain. Think I might have a bit of snap and then try and catch a few zzzzzz's . Take care everyone. Thanks for my messages, keep them coming. Cool runnings, Gryff

Glad it's the weekend

I am so glad it's the weekend... Been at work everyday and then on night duty with she who must be obeyed every night because she is a bit off colour and I am looking forward to a rest. Been going to bed really early, taken my Paddywack and some biscuits and a load of books to read to her so she goes to sleep. Gone through Lassie, K9 Snow dogs and a load of magazines, but sometimes I don't think she is listening. Have you any idea how hard it is lying still on a double bed, trying not to wriggle too much, talking away and she goes to sleep. Next thing I know I am being tipped around because she is coughing her head off and heading for the bathroom . I need my sleep too you know. And then last night about two am I was busy telling her that the idiot across the road had come home couldn't get in and was standing in the street shouting his mum to let him in, and did she care .....NO... Could have been anybody! Then about four Slice n dice turns up at the bedroom window and it's shut. What was I supposed to do? I was only telling her! So now I am heading downstairs for my pate and toast... Do you know what the Troll said to me.. Don't go downstairs without the light on! Like I can reach to put it on???? Sometimes you two legs amaze me, especially as my eyesight is four times better than yours in bad light. As I said, roll on the weekend. Had a quick look at my social calendar yesterday. Got eight appointments already for charity walks and weekends away. Can't wait till the weather is a bit better and we can all go carting. There she goes again, really must get her booked in with the vet . She sounds like an old boiler gone wrong. Right here I come Mr Toastie... Just love pate and then I think we will go out and look for Brutus the buzzard. I know we didn't used to get on too well but he's not been about for a week or so and I am a bit worried for him, oh and if anybody has heard any news on the rescue Berner give us a shout. Be nice to know he was safe. Take care , cool runnings Gryff