Designer dogs

I have been reading all these magazine articles and seeing all these designer dogs wandering around and thinking WHAT ABOUT ME, and today I saw my chance. Some crazy lady I know decided out of the blue this morning to start decorating, so we purchased two huge pots of paint (and I mean big because I can't move them) in a gentle shade of magnolia. An hour later she has not one but two designer dogs. Freya went for the Ying/Yang look, one side of the body black and the other side cream including those long flirty eyelashes of hers, and I went for the new Dalmation look. That is body black with cream spots at various intervals, and AND I removed the paint tin lid from the table and carried it around for a while so I had a cream moustache and cream toe nails to match. Very Poirot I thought. For some reason her indoors didn't comment..... She just stood there and looked at us, then just walked away. If I were Freya I think I would have been a bit upset , what does she want... A cat walk? and when I got home last night the Grizzly Troll was waiting for me. Some big barker had grassed my blogg up to him and he had spent the afternoon catching up with me. OOOPS!!!! Never mind, he still can't run as fast as me, or turn circles at the speed I can. And in a weeks time he will be even slower on his paws... He is having a pin put in his bottom paw so no chance then is there. Be laughing all the way to the butchers! Except how do we get our bones for a couple of weeks? Will have to have a little think about that one! Poor chap will have to give up ball chasing for a few weeks too.... How the golf course will survive I can't think. So what do you think about my new fur patterns. Bet I will be hard to find in the dark. That means I might get my own back on Slice n dice or Fatcat. Both have this thing about our baskets, and once they are in they won't get out, or leave us enough space to get in. Having said that Slice n dice can be found curled up in the weirdest of places..the sink...the top of the fountain in the garden... Anywhere odd really. Well she's a cat so what more can you say! Talked to my mate Bryn today. Still eating pasties and cream teas , and his 'her indoors' has said that she will make me some when they get home next weekend. AWESOME can't wait. Anyway better go and help with the clearing up.... Just had a fun thought.... My friend Flo has taught me how to tip up the water bowl when it's full so the water flies across the room....one good dab with the left front law and it's fun time. Wonder what will happen if I try it with that tray of paint.... Here goes.....cool runnings Gryff

No more holes!!!!

I have just been wandering around the Berner sites, only to find that a dog called Timber has fallen into one of his own holes and broken his leg really badly. He is currently in a vet hospital, so we send loads of love and wish him well, and to his two legs, we are thinking of you. So now I have decided that I am going to fill in all my holes, because it would be just my luck if she that mst be obeyed or old Grizzly fell in one.... And then who would feed us.? Talking of food, I have just treated myself to a chicken and sweetcorn sandwich. AWESOME. The box was a bit of a so and so, but I am a clever bloke and I got there eventually. Only needs HER to realise it's missing now. Breakfast at five, toast and pate at six thirty, biscuits at nine and then brunch sandwiches a little while ago. If you could see my great big feet and ears you would understand why I am always hungry. SHE says that every time I lie down I grow , and then I have to eat again to fill up the paws and ears. Last night I found a real delicacy ..FOX POO. Never ever again, I was so sick , don't know what dogs see in it myself! No wonder I am so hungry today. Merlin said I should have rolled in it, but I think he was winding me up. Can't imagine anybody cuddling me if I was wearing that as after shave. YUK!! And another thing.... If they keep taking me out for all these walks and run arounds, it's their fault not mine I am hungry. Next thing you know she will be trying to stuff worm tablets down my throat. Well knickers to that for a bonio. Found another page you might like to look at... Bernese mountain dog lovers and I think it's on Facebook. It's a new one only recently started but well worth a look...try it. My mate Bryn will be home soon so must tell him to fill in his holes too. Anyway, think I need to disappear for a little while.... Somebody is looking for some sandwiches, hope I hid the packet properly lol. Cool runnings Gryff

Who let the wind out, woof woof woof?

Ok now this was my first Easter and I thought it would be lovely and warm and all it's done is blow a gale and rain like mad.I was really disappointed aswell because we didn't get one egg between us, not one. Apparently on Saturday morning, when her indoors went to get us something special, her purse was missing from her handbag. She got in a right old stew. She had us looking everywhere even places that only an idiot would put a purse. Then about four o'clock when she had given up, she happened to walk past Ghosties pot, and there it was. Now I know he sometimes pinches her gloves or slippers to cuddle, but her purse. That dog has got more brains than I gave him credit for BUT he chose a really bad time to do it. It cost all of us our Easter treat. Sunday went out to a new river bank where there were loads of other dogs strutting their stuff, and my ears kept blocking them out because of the wind... Then when we turned round to come back it kept blowing up my tail. Undignified or what? There were setters, jacks, labs and bitza's everywhere , some had even been in the river.. Crazy dogs ( now I know where the phrase MAD DOGS comes from) and it could have been real fun. Then I got in trouble because I didn't recall ,but honest I never heard her in the wind. Well that's my story and I am sticking to it! Bit like when I shoot off next-door cause the ladies are just sitting down to coffee and BISCUITS , if you get my drift. Even now after having pinched a packet of twenty chews off the table I can still feel the cold. I think they must not be feeding me enough... What do you think? Her indoors says it's because my puppy coat is falling out and my other one hasn't grown properly, but I noticed that Merlin was wearing a big green jacket thing when he got dragged out in the rain... So where's mine? Ooops shouldn't have mentioned the chews but Aunty Jackie grassed me up this morning. I was only copying Freya, because she took a load off the table first thing, although her indoors caught her out. See that just proves my point, we are all starving. Just cause we had sausage for breakfast yesterday and pate and toast and bone casserole for tea, well I am a growing lad!! And Bryn keeps telling me about Cornish pasties and cream teas. Now he will be needing a good run when he gets back... Another edge to me in the hole digging competition. What is a dog supposed to do? Then after the river, they went to a garden centre and bought loads of green things in pots. I call it plain ungrateful because where ever I dig them a hole , it's always wrong... Why dont they just tell me when and where and then I won't get in trouble. I know one thing, I am not going out there now. Curled up warm and comfortable so no chance. I shall just pretend to be asleep when they try dragging me out for another walk. Time for a few zzzzzzz's in my opinion. Wonder if I will dream this time. They laugh at me because my paws twitch, or so they tell me, and I woof in my sleep too. At least I don't snore as loud as Merlin does.... Noisy fussy womanising old so and so....wish I could get away with it like he does.... Cool runnings Gryff

Theias birthday

Happy bone day dear Tizzy, you have made it to your special birthday. Keys to the kennel and a mobile bone, what more can a girl ask for. And your party was absolutely brill. Green tripe followed by a good kip and then out across the ploughed fields chasing ducks. AWESOME!! Trust Merlin to be all sensible and not join in. Anybody would think he knew we weren't going to catch them. Just think , fresh duck a la orange or duck pate , it could have been mega, but what's he do, just stand there watching them fly in his direction .... Barking doesn't stop them you old fraud.!!! got to say the ploughed field was nearly as good as the snow. You can really get a good bounce going if you just land on the top bits. And you can get your legs mudded up to the elbows and she can't catch you... Wonder what other treats we can wangle for the day? Funny it's a bit of a sad day aswell, it's two years since great uncle Teague passed away. Never met him myself but they tell us lots of stories of his doings... He even has his own number plate on the Trolls car. Cool or what! Had a missive from my mate Bryn... Sunning himself down in Devon. It appears everybody thinks he is a St Bernard.... I mean what idiots ! ! His legs are too short for a start,just like mine. Just tell them you are a Welsh Dragon mate, that will shut em all up. And, and he is getting loads of cream teas into the bargain. Bet he starts the day with a full English aswell, he will be a proper little barrel when he gets back. At least I will have the edge on the hole digging competition when he gets back. Still don't know if big sis is expecterant!!! She is a bit short tempered with me at the moment, but then so is Merlin. They keep saying it's me and that I have no manners. Just because I have more energy than all them nailed together doesn't mean I am rude!! Just bouncy, and if they break their chewy stick in half and a piece lands on the floor, they can't honestly expect me to leave it there... I am a growing bloke, and I am always hungry. Anyway, according to Bryn, if she is I can go and stop with him... And his mum cooks fresh for him most days...sounds better as I am saying it. Tizzy got birthday cards from her brothers and her mum at the Luddenden kennel...and they sent pictures, so she wants to do one of those posh photo shoots with all nail polish and fluffed up fur from having her fur done.... So her indoors has booked US ALL, us blokes aswell in at the poodle parlour... If they think I am going to stand still for that they can coco! And if I have to go the first thing I will do is go and find some fox poo. I am not going around smelling like a fluff ball...knickers to that for a job. Oh and that's another thing.. Apparently I am getting too gobby , and my language is getting a bit strong for the girls. It's ok if Merlin says there things , just because he is the senior Berner, but I can't.... Well who do you think is applying for his job soon.. YES ME! Anyway got to go back to the party, so will say enjoy Easter but STAY OFF THE CHOCOLATE it's bad for you. Cool runnings Gryff

The expert Troll

Nanny Broels, you know you said that you and Lexii were out looking for a handsome chap to have some puppies with.... Well can I ask if that is where The Evil Grizzly Grumpy Frog Speaking Troll took you and Freya for the day not so long ago??? If it is, I think you ought to know that he considers himself well versed in these affairs of the paws and I am absolutely positive that he would have been MORE THAN HAPPY to have given you the benefit of his HUGE HUGE HUGE experience. And just to confirm his abilities I would remind you that he is also an EXPERT in the redesigning of motor cars, since he has re shaped she who must be obeyed's car twice.... The last time the WHOLE BACK END, just like yours.... I REST MY CASE!! Having said that, it has just crossed my mind that Freya may therefore be pregnant! I suppose you think that's funny, because that will make me an uncle and I don't want to be. I know what it will be, fetch that, get this, chase your tail to keep them amused..... Well it's not going to happen!!! I am not going to puppy sit just because I am their uncle.... And what happens if the Troll gets hungry. I have seen how much he can eat. Bet you want me to bark and bark and keep them safe. Well if that's the case then Merlin will have to get off his big round bum and help too. So now I suppose we all have to sit back and wait and see what happens. O M G! If Freya and Lexii are expecting I shall have to run from ours to yours and back again, till they all grow up! Bet there will be loads of them, and all girls....just my luck! You are just trying to wear me out aren't you... That's it, I am not thinking about it any more....it's giving me a funny turn. Where's are my mates Alex or Bryn when I need them. Off on holiday scoffing cream teas and going out for the day. I need you fellas, get your furry bums back here now!! On another subject, my auntie Jackie is in the poo with Merlin again. No massage till next week and he only got a 'quickie' this morning. And she was moaning his fur was still wet. What does she expect when it's pawing with rain. I HAVE JUST HAD A REALLY GOOD IDEA!!! My brother Saxon lives with a lady who works with two legged puppy's every day... So if I get hold of Saxon ,he can tell his mum and she can come and puppy sit and I can escape. I can just imagine all those females sitting in a circle, cooing over the puppy's , making a fuss of them all, then us guys can disappear into the nearest fields and come back when everyone is asleep. JUST CALL ME A GENIUS. Better get gone and do some e pawing.. Talk later, cool runnings Gryff

Bring me sunshine

This morning it was glorious.... Birds every where including Brutus who was sitting in the middle of the lane, playing chicken with a flatbed. We pulled up behind the lorry (since he was sitting in the middle of the road and we had no option) only to find that his hazards flashing in the early morning sun didn't mean that he had broken down, but that Brutus was firmly in control of the Tarmac, and wasn't prepared to give it up. Poor bloke looked really upset....He won't move, I've pipped him and reved the engine and he just sits there.... Do you think he is hurt? What a pleasant change to the average guy who would just have kept going. " I think it must be an eagle of some sort...what do you think? With that, and a very smug look on his beak, Brutus lazily flapped his wings a couple of times and just rose into the air and without a backward glance , showed this poor bloke his tail feathers. Bugger! Said the guy, wound his window up and chugged off into the wild blue yonder. A morning he will never forget. Personally I think Brutus was just finishing his breakfast and didn't want to rush it.... Probably some mole or rabbit that was silly enough to shove it's head above ground. Personally I prefer waiter /waitress service and my dinner in my bowl....pate on toast, digestive biscuits, bone casserole... Not fussy! Anyway that was this morning and it was lovely, now it's throwing down hail and freezing cold. Bet the troll doesn't cover up the new plants in the garden.... She will be well impressed with that. Apparently years ago they used to have a really nice garden but now of course they have us. Can't have both and I personally think that we are better. The good bit about it is that when we get home I can do a grand ski ing turn across the dog room, utility and kitchen, wag my extremely wet tail (especially mudded for the occasion ) across the cooker fridge and washing machine and the Grizzly Troll won't be able to touch me cause her indoors will be there. He really is getting on my tail with this frog dog thing. Now I know how Poirot feels, we are both Belgian NOT FROG! Anyway revenge will be sweet, and then it's time for tea. Excellent. On a different note, I see Nanny Broels is keeping in the family tradition and having her car redesigned. Know the feeling nanny but REALLY REALLY glad tha none of you were hurt. You just can't trust two legs in four wheels. Much better a Berner in a cart, far safer if you ask me. And say what you will I think Troll drivers are the absolute worst....either that or they all need their eyes testing. Anyway enough said, just glad you are ok. Hails stopped, time to go and annoy the Troll..... AWESOME... O and a quick hello to my mates Alex and Bryn. Enjoy the holidays.... Cool runnings Gryff

The Trolls Ancestral Home

OK what's a trolls ancestral home called....A MOUND, A PIT, Grizzlington Cave.... Ok I give up, but anyway that's where he was all weekend. I know this for a fact cause I saw him pack his club in his big hairy bag, but I think it must have been a friendly bash cause he had leather covers on the spikes. Either that or he didn't want to scratch his delicate little mitts. I hope he knows how much work that puts on me. Senior guard dog at five and a half months. AWESOME. Well Ghostie does a better impression of a White wobbly jelly than a guard dog, and Merlin is too busy chatting up totty. Besides which he is as deaf as a post now. Except of course if there is sweet papers rustling or the ice cream van is about.... Then he hears things. Her indoors had me outside gardening, checking that the washing was pegged out right, arguing with the Hoover and and, she turned me out if my lovely warm comfortable flat to sleep on a cold hard floor. Just because she thought it was a bit warm for a fur coat..... Like she would know!!!!! Then Theia did a bunk and went AWOL on her walk , talking to a Jack Russell she was, the Freya was pawly, I mean how much does a dog have to put up with for Bones sake? I think this place would just grind to a halt if it wasn't for me. And then today I was up at 4am. Yes you read it right. She always has this hot date with a Dutchman on a Monday. I personally think there's something funny going on. She always leaves us in the van so we don't see any thing, and then she tries to bribe us by taking us for a long walk down one of the lanes on the way to work. I know there is something going on and I WILL FIND OUT WHAT! Today all I have done is make sure Aunty Jackie and her indoors have kept their noses to the grind stone, do this , fetch that, scratch my earnand massage Merlins back. I really do have to keep an eye on them. OK now it's beginning to bug me.... WHAT IS A TROLLS HOME CALLED! I WANT TO KNOW! got to go and google it... Will say ttfn , any ideas send them back to me.... How about DOOM CASTLE....cool runnings Gryff