Anybody need a Berner ?

Anybody give a home to a Berner in trouble out there.... 01269843084 Many Tears .co.uk.... About six months old and in a bit of a state. The rescue home has called him BOB.... Mum says she would but the troll says there's not enough room on his bed for any more.... On a more humerous note, what is it about fox poo that you two legs don't like? Big sis Freya went for a walk with the troll this afternoon and did she plaster it on all over or what. Mum says she will have to go in the washing machine with loads of soap powder on a 40degree wash, and we say she smells great. All her White bits are the most interesting shade of brown grey colour. The whole house smells of it, well at least our part does. No heating on tonight then. Do you think she means it.... I don't think that Freya will fit through the washing machine door, or is she planning to take her to a laundrette do you think? Just think all you show dogs could be washed and tumble dried every time you went to a show....cool! Think of the money and time it would save! Miss Flo is back at work now, she was on sick leave with kennel cough if you remember... Well she is up to her old tricks. I swear she does it to wind her mum Aunty Jackie up. She waits till you fill our great big water bowl up , and then when no one is looking she gives it a thump and turns it upside down... Not once but twice this morning. I hate water but at this rate I am going to have to learn to swim. The two legs were not amused.. Surprise surprise! We have a special treat for tea tonight. Shepherds pie...awesome. Looking at it a minute ago I was wondering just how many shepherds are in it? I mean there are no arms or legs hanging out of the dish, but then mum doesnt tell porkies so I guess they must be chopped up small. Can't wait, ovens on and I am going to sit by it and watch the clock thing till it's ready. I know I pinched Theias tea but she shouldn't have left it lying around, I'll give her one of my shepherd to make up for it... Don't forget to have a look at that Many Tears, he is only a baby like me... Cool runnings Gryff

Guess who had a party today

Guess who had a party today.... Yes Miss Freya, it was her birthday yesterday and she was two, but all us Berners and owners got together this afternoon for a party. Flo came in this morning with aunty Jackie, and then this afternoon Bryn came with his mum and dad, uncle Rob turned up and then aunty Susanne who has Bailey and Baxter. What a time was had by all. Treats cakes and loads of games. Now we all have invites for Roade twice in May, the carnival in June at March, a re enactment in July but I forget where that is and in August a bash at Coldham and at the end of the month Roade again. Not bad for a load of baskervilles. Mum says our social calendar is much busier than hers. Come home and there are packets of Paddywack every where. I could really get used to this standard of life. Got to eat my tea and then we can have a piece each for afters. Work has been a bit busy today, so tomorrow I am hoping to go out on deliveries with Aunty Jackie and Charlotte. Just love riding around in my seat belt. Don't miss a thing believe me!. Ghostie seems a bit better at the moment, still very quiet but that's him. Oh this will make you laugh, you know how tough gsd's are supposed to be, well my mate Bryn managed to scare one today.....cool! Can you smell that????? That's Paddywack or I am a Jack Russell.... Sorry guys got to go....love you all to bitsnand talk soon. Cool runnings Gryff

Cat burglars

Anybody seen my picture on paw book, the one where I have taken over the cats basket tower thing? Well that's because some feline had the temerity to break into my flat the other night and pinch all my stash of food. How dare they... Anybody would think it's a takeaway or a fast food joint. Well I decided what was good for them is even better for me. Eat your hearts out Fatcat or Misscat. See if I care what happens to you next time it rains.... And I took half the blame for the duvet cover last week. Oh and a bit of gossip for you.... Theia split up with her boyfriend yesterday. About time if you ask me... It was all getting too serious too quickly, all the kissing and stuff. Yuck! Would hate to have our mum as a mother in law..... Oh @@@@@ , it doesn't bear thinking about. The mother in law from Hell would be more like it. Wonder if she would be as bad when I get a girlfriend. She keeps saying I am rushing things but my paws are getting huge now, and my teeth have started dropping out so I guess that makes me a teenager... No smoke without fire is what I say. Oh and today is Freyas second birthday... We clubbed together and got a new collar and some chewy things and dad got us ham for a special tea to celebrate. Tuna and biscuits for breakfast, sausages and biscuits for lunch and now ham meat and biscuits for tea.... Wonder what's for supper? No my stomach doesn't rule my head, well only when it's empty. Had a busy day at work, and I am pleased to say that Miss Flo has returned from sick leave at long last. She had kennel cough that she picked up at Birmingham show but she is ok now. Had quite a game with her over a chewy bone... Shows she is fit again. And I gave her the recipe for bone casserole... She and Dexter will love that. Anyway enough chit chat for now, I can smell that ham. Will say ttfn take care and talk soon. Cool runnings Gryff

New totty on the block

Guess what guys... Jungle bones are saying there is a new bit of totty on the block. Born Christmas eve last year, White cream fur (don't you just love blondes) one eye blue one brown and a husky to boot. They say her name is Cleo, which is short for Cleopatra... And you know how beautiful she was supposed to be! That darn cat is winding me up aswell. You know we redesigned the bed cover the other day... Well she thinks now that she can use my bedroom window as her front door all through the night, going out to parties and coming in at three am making as much noise as she wants. And she jumped on the new clean bed, but at least my feet are bigger than hers and I won't get the blame this time. Then this morning Brutus the buzzard was about, he doesn't look quite so dangerous now, but he still has those huge nails on his toes. He just sits there on the top of a telegraph pole looking at you. Never seems to move or blink and it still physc's me out. Had to lend big sis Theia my seat belt today... She's gone off with her two legged boyfriend joy riding round the county. Hope she's having a good time, cause I just love being in the car. Means you are going where ever they are. Cool! Bet she's stretched it and I have to alter back to fit me. And I bet they go to MacDonalds for lunch.... Oh remind me to tell her indoors I need a new collar, this one is getting a bit tight and it won't let out anymore. Fancy something a bit loud but I bet she says it has to be school uniform blue or black. Where's the fun in that? Merlins cart harnesses are both black but his new one has a red edging... Really smart to match the Ferarri. Then there is Roade to consider... Need something dressy for that. I saw the picture of Mr Barnaby on the web page the other day... Red Rose, red bow tie and he looked a proper dude. Well suppose I had better put some effort into work. Got to pay for that new collar somehow . Take care all, keep your eyes open for that blond guys. Cool runnings Gryff

Guess what I discovered this morning

Ok guys, I found puppy heaven this morning. Up as normal at five am, nice hot breakfast after a game in the garden with Theia and then back to bed for a quick kip. Now normally I would be reclining gracefully in my flat, but today I managed to sneak past the security guards and head off upstairs on my own. I know, soft bones and all that, but it just had to be done. Don't give a dog a challenge if you don't want him to do it!!! Anyway , me and Slice n dice slipped off upstairs un noticed, and there was this lovely huge cream coloured double bed. Now I know that when Slice n dice wants to get on it she takes a running jump from just by the door, so if it's good enough for her , I can do it too. Bit of speed, flap of the ears and we have lift off...... AWESOME. Nobody told me you bounce up and down for a few seconds after you land but who cares. Anyway had a bit of a ruckle around , parked my delicate little butt at the top and chilled down. Feels a bit odd when your bum is higher than your head but I can cope. Then Slice n dice decides she might aswell join in. Flying leap from the door, landed on the bed and then blow me if she didn't bounce right off and land nose first into the window. You know those cartoons where you see them hit the window and then slide down it.... Well I swear that's what she did. Anyway problem was the noise made her indoors come flying upstairs to see what was going on. How was I supposed to know you didn't put your butt on the pillows, and I liked the paw pattern we had decorated it with. Really personalised the cover.... Would have signed it if she had asked me to. Could have been worth a load of bones as modern art or something. No eye for talent some people. Anyway I like it so I am going to try again another day ON MY OWN so I don't get caught and have a proper snooze. Anyway you remember I was saying about Roade in May, well just been across to BowWows in March (07773168312) (£35-£40)and booked in with Merlin and the girls to have our fur washed and dried. They all had theirs done before I arrived so they looked their best for the sponsored walk and cart pull. Anyway I want to look good cause Merlin says there is mega totty there. Better than any mixed dog get together cause they will all be my type. They do your ears your nails and all your special bits and pieces, and he says if you ask politely they will trim your feet for you. You know how funny women are about men's feet!!! Lady didn't recognise me because I have grown so much. Tell you one thing, she won't lift me up as easily as she did last time come May. I will be 6 months old and well on the way to four or five stone, bless her. The girls can even have a proper pedicure thing and then have their nails painted.... Why can I see Freya in bright pink ??? Better still I could decorate the bed cover and she could put some pink bits on it to finish it off. Bet her indoors would really like that. AWESOME. Oh guess who I saw this morning. Hat pulled over his eyes, dark glasses, turned up collar on his coat, you got it... I swear it was the Grizzly Troll. Do Trolls live forever like vampires? because I would have put bones on it that he was at the bottom of the garden. On a plus, that means we can have those parties we were planning for the summer now .SAUSAGES nanny Broels, sausages! Or maybe beef burgers. They say that Uncle Finnigan loved them, and would win any BBQ eating competition. Got some pictures of him and his lady Miss Gracie on the wall. Looks a bit like something from Gone with the Bones, or Paw Story. All mushy and soppy and kissy. Yuck! Anyway , best I be off now and get things sorted.nothing like creating havoc and somebody else carrying the can for it.LOL. Stay well everybody. Cool runnings. Gryff

Busted !

Called round to see you Alex my mate. Where were you, missed you again on Saturday, not cool.... And into the bargain I got busted for counter surfing. For weeks now I have been really careful not to get up on my back legs so them indoors wouldn't realise how big I was getting. It was easy really cause her indoors has this thing about soft growing baby bones being damaged. Nobody is allowed to jump up, or push my bum down for a sit and stuff like that cause she reckons it can damage my skeleton , what ever that is! Any way for the past two weeks I have managed to counter surf unsuspected. It's been quite profitable, odd bit of cat biscuits, some corned beef and on Saturday my all time favourite.... Three chocolate biscuits nicked from Aunty Sarahs packet on the table at work. Then just as I got down, SHE saw me, BUSTED! It's like Stalag K9 now...... Somebody is always watching me. It's not my fault that the others got the blame. In my opinion Princess Freya is a bit on the broad side... A minute on the lips a lifetime on her hips. I keep telling her but she won't listen. She says it's all the running around and she's muscled up. Yeh Yeh Yeh. All she worries about is her figure her lippy etc. Technically Freya is dads dog. When great uncle Teague died of cancer a couple of years ago, dad was gutted. He kept wandering around all upset and miserable till she indoors couldn't take any more. She spent three weeks looking for a pup, and could only come up with two girls... No fella's. She thought that perhaps that was a good thing, cause of the state he was in. Anyway on the Saturday morning after changing his mind ninety nine million times they set off up the motorway to go and see this puppy. Three hours into the drive he changes his mind again. Not going any further....give mum her due she didn't loose it but went and shut herself in the loo and made a phone call. She told the breeder how he was, and said when we arrive, ignore me and as soon as he sits down, plonk the pup in his lap. BINGO. First kiss and he was in love. I agree, in this case a girl was a good idea... No comparisons to the iconic Teagles. Dad has his name as his number plate and his collar and bandana close to paw. Freya on the other paw, can twist him into little fluffy knots. She keeps sitting up and giving him a high five or even a ten, or she will jump up and give him a real girly kiss. He thinks we don't know, but she gets extra walks and lots of what we call Daddy Days. We know that they are watching tv together in the afternoons, and eating biscuits with their cuppa. The good bit is that Ghostie gets a bit of tlc aswell. Ghostie came from the wrong side of town, so he is a bit of a scaredy cat and doesn't know what's wrong or right all the time.... So he shares in the daddy days to keep him chilled. Oh and another thing, all Miss Freyas stuff is pink. To help dad remember he had a little girl, all her bowls, leads and brushes were bought in pink. She even had a pink bag and mum put lipsticks and nail polishes in there, as well as painting her nails bright bright pink. Made dad laugh through the tears. Changing the subject.... Somebody asked if we were going to the carting at Roade, Northampton this year. The family have gone for the last couple of years but this will be my first time. Aunty Jackie is putting some photos on of me in the Ferarri in the snow. I look AWESOME! And so does Merlin. Can't wait till I can cart too. Last time, they all stopped in aunty jackies caravan and had a bt of a party..... Then about 2am somebody was shouting for their dog Harvey. Excellent, can't wait. Think Miss Flo might have a go at carting too. It's good fun so they tell me, and last year seven dogs with a couple of carts raised nearly £3000 for charity. Mum wants to have a go at agility... She saw that and the dancing at Stoneleigh last year. She can think again if she wants Merlin and me to have a go. Don't mind the thought of agility but dancing...NO WAY !!!Anyway, it's time I sorted out work. Lots of things need doing and sorting out. Goes to rack and ruin if I am not there. You get those three nut cases working together and anything can happen, and I mean ANYTHING!.Needs a firm paw from me I can tell you. Don't forget if there is anything you want to share.... HEALTH TIPS! GOOD GROOMERS! FUN RECIPES! ANYTHING THEN SEND IT IN . Take care all. Talk soon. Cool runnings Gryff

If you have read yesterday's blogg, you will be aware that Merlin Freya Theia and I each have had a paw in the excavation of a rather glorious hole at the bottom of the garden. Under guidance from Theia,who desperately wants a career in landscaping and design, or failing that demolition work, we rather fancied making it into a fish pond or one of those mud bath things that you girls do to keep your fur at it's best BUT somebody has filled it in. The question is why? Wrong location, wrong shape or depth? OR IS THERE SOMETHING BURIED IN IT? Anyway after a hurried discussion over breakfast, we decided as a group it might be politic to let sleeping Trolls lie, and start another excavation somewhere else. Now as I say Theia really really wants a career in landscaping, irrespective of where.... Beaches, sand dunes, woods, river banks ( she really gets miffed at mole hills and jumps on them out of spite) anywhere anytime she is your girl. So after giving the matter due consideration she marked out a spot dead centre of the lawn. Equi- distant to boundaries, bound to catch the sun, even the fluff balls can go around it, so X marks the spot. Big hole, big big hole, HUGE HOLE. Excellent! A work of art, carefully signed by all involved. Good job it's thawed around here or we could have been in trouble! Question is now....what do we do with it? Any polite suggestions? Obviously now the garden is designated an area of Troll interest with a ceremonial burial plot the wild parties we had planned might be considered in bad taste. Should think summer BBQ 's will still be ok though... Sausages!!! Yes I know nanny Broels, I really am being a good boy. Got my addiction under control now, but at the cost of Tuna and mums bone casserole which is wonderful. Anyway, do you think we should write to English Heritage or somebody like that... We could charge for entry and send the money to one of the rescue centres? That would please her indoors and there would be less chance of anybody finding him! Where she buried the bits of chickens after the fox got in is now under the patio , so they can rest in peace so to speak. Well any ideas will be looked at with interest. O and while I think about it there is a health warning....PARVO VIRUS IN AND AROUND THE LEICESTER AREA! SO BE CAREFUL DUDES! When you look at us Berners, we are a really unusual group...Merlin,50kg and a racing driver stroke bodyguard/bouncer, Freya, frequently called HRH La diva, all pink , yes everything, bowls leads collars handbags nail polish lippy tiara and pinkish bags on her treats, Theia,a perfect Tom boy, digging, chasing, all in wrestling, and me, Mr Perfect.(yeh yeh yeh heard it all before)Some English some aussi and some French. What a mix.... It's brill. Oh and I spent this morning getting to know my litter bros Saxon again. AWESOME. Sent three hours nearly chasing around, peeing on beds and then we had a synchronised poop.... Right in the middle of his mums kitchen floor. Glad he started it, cause her indoors would have not been impressed otherwise. As it was she did seem a little put out but hey excitement got the better of us. Anyway have another invite so can't have been all bad. Anyway time I slipped off, can smell something interesting in the kitchen.....play eat rest, play eat rest, canine heaven. Just before I go, could you spare a thought for Dougal who has just left his forever family, for rainbow bridge and his family.... Our thoughts are with you. Will say ttfn, cool runnings Gryff