COUNTER espionage

Www. The adventures of Gryff.    This is my second Christmas and the first one for the terrorists who between them have been little @@@@'s. There's been wrapping paper everywhere, toys lying around to fall over, and muddy paw prints up to the ceiling. All of which us big dogs have got in trouble for. SUPRISE.  Yesterday her indoors took us out along the river with about ten of our doggy mates to try and wear them out. I wish! Came home, had their elevenses curled up and went to sleep.YES RESULT! Dinner can start being cooked. The Troll only eats green or red meat so it was beef on the menu with all the trimmings, and after letting it stand, her indoors decided to carve the lot ready for boxing day aswell. Off we all went with our bowls piled up to enjoy Xmas dinner, and then it's our turn to sleep off  the day. Bliss! But what nobody had allowed for was the terrorists waking up first. Her indoors walked into the kitchen with a pile of dirty plates to find the tin foil off the joint on the floor and the rest of the meat gone. Who says that some genes don't come down thro the lines. Freya their mum is the thief who does all the stunts for Mission Impossible and they are as good as she is now with the addition of a few extra inches. To say they have screwed up dinner for boxing day is an understatement. The only good bit to come out of this s that I happen to know that here's a piece of pork in the freezer......... In case of accidents lol. Hope you all had a good one. Cool runnings Gryff

The Troll does TV.

Www.the adventures of Gryff.  Well folks, guess who's pet troll is on tv then???? Bet you never thought that I would have mine showing off on tv...but  I have. Any of you seen the new advert for a certain cough remedy where the bloke  goes into work with a cough... Well the troll on his back is mine. Think it must have been filmed before he had his toe done , and then again maybe not, because that might be why he is being  carried in.... Good looking chap isn't he? For a troll that is!   Anybody know who owns the one in the previous advert , although I don't think that one is quite as green and warty as mine. Perhaps its the start of a real career in film for him. Just think Troll Bond or Mission TRollpossible, makes you wonder.
Beginning to get the hang  of this Christmas thing now, work is busy, and her indoors is busy cooking up lots of goodies for us. This morning we had savoury porridge with Tuna, it was AWESOME. Then yesterday we had  all roast veg meat  and gravy, and tonight it was black pudding  with five veg and pasta. You would think we would all be putting weight in but Merlin has lost some more and is looking really svelt.... Then of course he is wandering around wearing Tinsel with a large lump of Mistletoe between his ears. Thinks he's Romeo or some such I should think. That and we have started receiving some goodies from the customers as presents. We all put our paws together and decided that the bulk of them will go to a certain canine rescue place for the guests... Wish we could have a few to stay and make them smile. All we can do is our best. Think that pasta is catching up with me, beginning to feel a bit tired.... Think I will curl up in a quiet corner for a few ZZZZZZ's. See you soon... Cool runnings Gryff

He didn't pay me enough....

Www. The adventures of Gryff.... Well he didn't pay me enough so here goes all the trolls secrets lol. The last four weeks or so the troll has been swinging it big time. No housework, no driving, no standing, just bed couch rest, tv, computer, zzzzzz's etc while us Berners have been working six day weeks, washing drying ironing shopping, dragging her indoors out for walks, and generally picking up all the slack. Until Saturday that is!! Her indoors managed to get us home a little early, just in time to follow the trolls car as it turned into the drive! oops! The hospital had said he could drive but he was working on the not well enough to go out, No housework route! swinging it basically. Now needless to say her indoors was not happy, having had various friends help ,feed him if we weren't there and generally help him out. The discussion that took place, I won't repeat but sufficient to say HE LOST! Anyway it was agreed that he should help with the shopping Sunday morning and the sun came up on a poor frail ageing troll who could hardly put his weight on his crutches let alone hop around a supermarket. TUFF!!! He was dropped at the front door while the car was parked, bags readied and the list read. By the time her indoors got to the door he had managed about ten steps. Now being a caring and compassionate creature with us, her indoors told him to stop messing around and get on, and finally being totally embarrassed by his poking one lady with a crutch, and lifting another's skirt she abandoned him to his own devices. Worse was to come... He managed to clear a shelf of very expensive whiskey with the top end of a crutch. I know don't ask!! Add to that the bill being exactly double what we had spent the week before and you would think she would say never again. NOT OUR TWO LEGS! He is now that deep in the proverbial poo that a mine rescue squad with blood hounds wouldn't find him. He is now expected to do all light jobs and he will be driving himself and his pawly left foot in his automatic right footed car that appears to have put on a number of miles in the last four weeks to his next hospital appointment. He now does our pate on toast, while standing on one leg (in case we catch his bad foot) as with the washing up etc. And a great time is had by us all getting so close but never actually touching the offending digit.  So the moral of this is.... DO NOT TAKE THE P@@@ out of Bernese mountain dog because it will catch up with you. Cool runnings Gryff

It's definately DISCRIMINATION

Www. The adventures of Gryff.   It's most definitely discrimination against us boys. Those girls get treated like princesses all the time. None muddy walks, coming home with  clean paws.  Fresh warm blankets. China pots and bowls, and most of all, sleeping on the Trolls huge grreat bbiiigggg bed. And what do us blokes get.... Muddy walks, so we get the blame for the floors being mucky. Plastic bowls that slide around making a load of noise and that get chewed by the terrorists  (for which we get the blame)  We never get to go on THE BED although we do sometimes get on the other one but that's our secret! And then, blow me if her indoors decides to have a home cooking session with the girls. Off they went without us blokes, and bought all the bits they like. Cauli, broccoli , all the ends off the cooked meat counter, pasta, stuffing etc. shoved it all in the oven and came up with twenty meals for about eight quid... Plus biscuits of course. Now Ghostie and I would have chosen steak , turkey  or even sausages with all the trimmings. Roasties, gravy and all the good bits, not this healthy eating thing. Next thing we know it will be rabbit food and our noses will twitch. AND, AND those little hooligans pinched both of Ghosties rugs, got them all wet in the water bowl and didn't get told off.... I mean when I was little I know I got told off for that. It wasn't my fault that he was still sat on them when I had an accident... I was only little!  Anyway they just went straight in the washing machine. Do u realise that we got dragged out in the freezing cold with NO SNOW for an hour or more. Those little perishers only went out for twenty minutes... And don't tell me it's because they are little. Seven months old and they are bigger than their mum and Tizzy Tartlet. Oh and the heating was on when they came through the door. .... Told you , it's discrimination.  It's us against them definitely .... It's a war of the sexes. The Trolls no good either.... He's down right dangerous with the crutches. Shouldn't tell u really but, he got caught out on Saturday afternoon, just getting out of his car by her indoors. She was not happy and said if he was well enough to go out in the car he could help with the shopping...OOPS! Tell you about that next time..Cool runnings Gryff (unless he pays me not too)

A DOG IS FOR LIFE! NOT JUST FOR CHRISTMAS

Www. The adventures of Gryff....It's getting that time of year again folks.... The puppy farms are on overtime aswell as Santas Bernese helpers. The weather is cold, the crates or cages are cold and have no blankets. The water bowls are frozen and the mums are Just Bags of Bones from feeding the pups.How many people this year will be buying heartbreak and tears for Christmas? I spent all day yesterday wishing for snow, not food or a drink, and now I realise just how lucky I and most Bernese actually are. We are treated as fur babies.... Spoilt rotten in most cases, living in warm houses, regular meals, water we can always drink. Walks and games for the asking of, and safe in the knowledge that for most of us, our lives will stay like that until we cross the rainbow bridge.  What about the dogs living rough on the streets with their owners who don't have a home? What about the strays who can't remember the last time they had a proper meal. The dogs living in runs in rescue kennels, who will spend christmas alone and uncuddled. To most people they are the lucky ones! And then in the new year, the already full rescue centres will be buried under thousands of unwanted pets. Just think that could be you... Just a thought, but when you do your list to Santa Paws, why don't you ask for your gifts to go to one of those less fortunate dogs.  If you  are so much loved, just spare a thought for a dog that needs a home, or a proper meal, and do something about it. We will still have our special day, just being with our two legs...... Let them have one too. Cool runnings Gryff

So near yet so far....WHERE'S MINE?

Www. The adventures of Gryff.  If one more person  comes through that door and tells me it's snowing enough to shut Stansted and Luton airports, I will probably bite their bums! Where s my snow, I want it and I want it NOW! It's on paws book, it's in the pictures, everybody is talking about it, and all I've got  is a cold wind blowing my ears about. It's just not fair! The last time I saw snow I was three months old... they even sat me in Merlins Ferrari Red santas sleigh and took pictures of me in it.... So where in bones name is mine.! A few minutes ago, her indoors thought she saw a snowflake but no....it was some feather floating around. I am so fed up!!! No carting on Sunday, Merlin got the girl on Sunday and now no snow. Add to that he's gone off on holiday to pumpkin and pork, probably rabbit or liver cake and all I get is carrots and biscuits.  There are definately times when being a Berner is difficult. Last night I was doing my best to look after everybody on our walk in the dark when this farm dog kicks off barking. He must have been five miles away but no all the girls go running back to the van and jump in squeaking and shaking. Like I can't do Merlins job while  he's ON HOLIDAY AGAIN! Think I am going to resign. Let them all look after themselves, and I will go and curl up on Her indoors bed and go to sleep.... Except of course there's either Fatcat or Slice n dice already up there giving it zzzzzzzzzzz's. Just give me a text if anything changes. Yours truly is off to sleep. Cool runnings from a fed up  Gryff

Where have all the Bernese gone????

Www.the adventures of Gryff.  Well where were you all yesterday????? Me and my mates went all the way to Louth and not a Bernese in sight!!! The two legs checked the club site and it was still listed, but not a cart to be seen anywhere.  Now if it had been last year I would have understood it. It did nothing but pour with rain all day, but this year it was a lovely day for wearing a Berner coat. Then to add insult to injury there were poodles, labs, pointy nosed handbag jobs, wolfhounds  , non specific breeds (mutts to u and me... And nice ones they were too ) and this gorgeous St Bernard with paws that went all the way up to her tail. Now she was  lovely... Miss Daisy is her name, and she has a pub called The White Hart in Louth where ALL DOGS ARE WELCOME. Been a long time since Merlins moved that fast I'll tell you, even beat me to the lady. Think she must be the mothering kind because she seemed to spend more time talking to the pups than worrying about us guys..... But then again if you have it why bother flaunting it, it's there for all to see.  Anyway we all had a good wander around , a sniff at the meat and cheese stalls, listened to the brass band and all that, sang along with the odd carol, and talked to all the people who stopped us and asked where the carts were this year. Then we headed home for a good old fashioned Sunday dinner. Roast pork, roasties, yorkshires, swede,Brussels , cauli, broccoli, roast carrots and parsnips.... Now that's what I call a dinner, oh and gravy too. While it was all cooking , uncle Rob , Merlin and I took the sleigh out for an airing ( has wheels and runners. We were going to take around Louth like last year but no go). Typical Merlin, being a veteran wore himself out so I ended up doing most of the pulling , but Hey Ho! Her indoors , has banned the troll from being in the same room as us with his bad foot. He thinks it's the other way around but he's wrong. She says he's not going to tell us off if we jump on it like he does he cat when she gets on his bed... Like she can see it under the covers! But he did come unstuck yesterday afternoon. He went ferriting in the fridge after he had been told a couple of times not to be in the kitchen, and it was booby trapped. He opened the door, and this fresh cream sponge cake jumped out at him and landed on the floor. Think it's fair to say Madam Two Legs was a bit ticked with him, and she gave it to him for afters in the state it was.  The rest of us excluding AJ had fruit pie, with the options of scones, or chocolate cake.... Tuff being a troll!!!! Should have behaved himself.... No sympathy if you ask me! Then just because we had a younger guest, he put on Transformers and some Christmas film about The Last Journey. Like they weren't for him and Uncle Rob to watch! An