Pretty in pink lilac blue bandages and sticky plaster

There are times when us Berners are not sensible to ourselves... Last night we all trotted in from work to find chaos reigning and the troll (what's left of him that is ) in a blind panic. Got to say he really let us males down. A bit of blood a torn off bandage and he was panicking fit to bust. We walk in to..She's torn her bandage off!!!! What do I do , what do WE do! Subtle that we all thought. Her indoors looked at him, picked up the phone and rang the vets to say dizzy Tizzy was on her way up to be re-bandaged, gave him the troll mobile keys and sent them on their way. Needless to say all became calm, tea was served, and Tizzy returned having been told off by Nurse Emily for mis-behaving to a load more spoiling and cosseting .  Then this morning, she who must be obeyed decided Dizzy Tizzy and her bandages would be safer with all of us at work. All went well till about 10am, when infront of five two legs and all us k9's she just ripped off the other pink bandage.  We thought that she obviously preferred the new lilac one with blue paw prints on, but not to be outdone, her indoors rushed out to a certain local chemist and bought bandages, sticky bandages, tape, and absorbent lint to rectify matters. Now this is one of those times when she beats us at our own game.... She bought enough for two legs... Now how did she know??? Anyway with the assistance of a couple of bouncers, a straight jacket and a seven lb lump hammer , she who must be obeyed rebadged the offending leg. Then some more gentlemen, (I have to say Theia has loads) turn upwith presents and goodies for a recovering lady in distress. ie Uncles Ian and Clive... And blow me if she doesn't do the same with the lilac bandage. I have to say she should have thought it through a bit better!!! Uncle Ian is a VET NURSE with millions of years experience of  cheeky K9's. She never stood a chance ..... All by himself, no anesthetic, no bouncers, and lots of sticky tape, about sixty seconds later she was stuck up like a Christmas turkey. It was AWESOME to watch an expert at work. One more for the gentlemans side. And now hopefully said bandages will stay on till Monday a m when HRH princess Theia   Aka Dizzy Tizzy will be returning to see the vet for a check up. And no before anyone says "where's her buster collar"....it gets in the way when she puts on her tiara.....Cool runnings Gryff

Well just to let you all know that our princess in pink (with blue paw prints) is doing just fine. She was very brave last night and agreed to sleep with the Troll and share his XXlarge bed, on the proviso that she had most of it. Now I have no doubt that the excitement of sharing his bed made his brain stop working, or perhaps it just got cold, but for some reason, being the last to bed , he forgot to put the rest of us to bed, and shut the back door, or even put the kiddie gate across it. MAJOR MAJOR OOOPS,!! As you can imagine us more senior and sensible k9's saw fit to be back in our baskets before she who must be obeyed got up at 5am this morning while those smaller muddier hairier and younger little beasties  didn't ! She went ballistic. All I can say is I am so so glad that we all have flack jackets and tin hats stashed in with our leads collars and alike. We all knew it would happen, we all told the little @@@@@ that they were dicing with death, but would they  listen....NO. They knew better. OOOPS!!! Cool runnings Gryff.

Ps ... The trolls funeral will be next week lol

Theia's pink ballet shoes.....

What a day.... Our princess Theia, has had to spend it at the vets, and I think it's fair to say ,she is not impressed!!!!! Where Theia came from, far far up north, in the county of Roses , sheep and Scarfell Pike,  the vets deem the removal of rear dew claws as COSMETIC SURGERY, and as such didn't remove them as requested on either her or her three brothers. Now unfortunately our athletic and bouncy lady Berner actually had  Double dew Claws on both her back legs and the week before last, while practicing her Yoga, she managed to catch one very firmly in the metal loop on her collar which defied the extreme efforts of two people to free her. Needless to say when she had her freedom returned, the claw was pulled that much she refused to let anybody look except her indoors and ME. (only because I was looking over mums shoulder, being nosey and wondering why all the fuss! ) by now these troublesome articles are curling around nicely on themselves and starting to run into the second claw. Now her indoors was not happy about this but was prepared to wait and see if this was a one off occaision or if it was likely to happen again. Yes you got it, last week while practising  her Cuddle me routine for the benefit of one of her who must be obeyed friends, it happened again. So poor old Tizzy was booked in for today,  for their removal and also a little bit of  personal photography. Anyway we duly had a phone call about two this afternoon saying that she was up and about and wanted to come home. Can you imagine the trolls face, when out trots his lovely princess, decked out in PINK bandages and carrying a pair of PINK  Ballet slippers to be used as required and especially if it's wet  to keep her clean and dry. Now the thought of him battling with those fastenings is positively hilarious. I doubt he will even be able to put one of her delicate little paws in there before she has done her special Berner pirouette and whisked off to the other side of the room  laughing her paws off. That, the fact that Trolls are not known for their patience and the £400 bill will make for quite an entertaining few days, because as you know Trolls can be DIFFICULT at the best of times, and his cousins in Wales have probably already heard him 'going off on one". That and the fact that our Aunty Sarah has bought both Theia and Freya a pink spotted bandana to complete her outfit, to be worn when the Troll takes her out in public should just about finish him off.  Life can be such fun..... And it's amazing how differently two people can look at something and see a totally different picture.  One vets opinion is COSMETIC and our vets is COMMON SENSE... The Trolls is embarrassment while Theias is LOOK AT ME! GORGEOUS IN PINK. Cool runnings Gryff

BALLS... Yes you heard right... BALLS

Have you ever been out with someone and they have been such a pain in the bone that you swear blind you will never go out with them again... WELL I HAVE!!! Those two @@@@@  nieces of mine are the absolute end.  Merlin and I decided we would take them out this morning down one of those long straight country lanes we have  where we live. Now normally  they are not too bad, but last couple of days they have been right little  @@@'s, so we thought wear them out and we will have peace for the day. In our paw twitching dreams!  Lacey decides she is leaving home and heads out into the wild green yonder, through nettles and dock leaves and those round sticky bud things that we call Chickweed. Bet you all know it, the leaves and the stems stick to you and they are covered in millions of small round balls. They were in her ears ,around her eyes , all through her tail, infact I can't think of any place they weren't, and would she come back... NO CHANCE.  Her indoors went ballistic , wading through the nettles , getting stung to bits, she was not a happy Girl. In the end we put Asti on a long lead and sent her in to find her sister who by now we could only locate by the nettles moving. I told her, she needn't expect Merlin or me to go in after her..... Little @@@@! Well to cut a long story short, her indoors managed to catch hold of Lacey's collar, and she was done for. The pair of them stood there GREEN. There must have been hundreds of bobbles on each of them, so when we got to work, we had to go out and buy a special comb thing to sort them out. We tried the pet shop, the dog groomers and eventually the £1 shop for the little horrors. By this time of course they were scratching and trying to pull them out themselves, so AUNTY JACKIE and my mate Rowan got volunteered to help sort them out. With the three two legs it took over two hours to get the worst out, and we still keep finding  them on them. Apart from that, it's hit my bone and biscuit money.... If anyone uses a rude word infront of Rowan they have to cough up 30p for his money box... His dads bright idea, and you can guess how many of those were used plus of course the cost of the new comb... Now you know why I feel like saying BALLS !  I mean what happens if I need a new ball or a special bone or something? They can wag their biscuit money goodbye this weekend, Merlin and I want that. Anyway, I suppose I have calmed down a bit now I have told you all about it. Just take my advice and stay away from grass seeds, especially the spikey ones, because they can do us a lot of damage in the wrong place!!! Cool runnings   Gryff

I did it....

I did it, I said I  would!! She who thinks she must be obeyed nearly got away with it, but I got her there in the end! One word of advice though ... NEVER EVER EVER let a troll programme your SAT NAV. I mean how big is Newmarket Race Courses? And we still managed to miss it by twenty eight miles ddddduuuuurrrrrhhhhh. It's like I have always said, four fingers and toes on a troll and they are way too big for the average sat nav to cope with. Will just have to do it myself next time. The old dear was getting in a right old stew because we were still wandering around the A14 at quarter past nine and the show started at nine thirty. Take a pill I said, a chill pill, and we got there just in time, and there was my Nanny Broels waiting  for us.  She had us walking and running and standing and sitting and anything else she could think of, bless her. She was even kind enough to suggest that somebody who knew what they were doing, as in not mum and me, would help me strutt my stuff, but I wasn't going to have that. Got say there was some gorgeous totty about... Oh and I discovered CHEESE in a big way.... Seemed a lot of the other dogs liked it too, along with my all time favourite SAUSAGES. We thought we were just doing two classes, but every time I walked out of a ring, Nanny would say " in that one now, go on" ...... But all in all it was quite fun. There were some really nice people there, some who would say hello, and some I thought might be related to SLICE N DICE my cat.... If you know what I mean. We just went for some fun. My mum told me I was the best dog going in and the best dog coming out, and she wasn't bothered about what happened in the middle. Good job because it thundered  and poured down with rain for ages and ages, and we got rather wet..... Had to laugh though... Why don't you two legs do as we do? She who must be obeyed decided she really really needed to go to the ladies, right in the middle of the thunder storm. Yes you got it.... Now I know what a drowned rat looks like!  Anyway eventually the sun came back out and I dragged her back into the show ring. And that's another thing, you need four paw drive on wet grass, so why do you only have two? Much safer our way if you ask me! Will tell you more next time , perhaps even the odd picture of drowned rats, lol, take care all, Cool runnings Gryff

The Trolls are gathering....

Not good, been reading about Theia's family on Bonsai Mountain, and they have got trouble with Trolls too. Like us they have been receiving SBS training to cope with the last walk  in the dark. (SBS is Special Bernese Service and only the bravest are good enough) the woods by us or our riverbank to say nothing of their Bonsai mountain can be SCAREY  places if you are not brave of heart.  It's the two spots of red that watch you as you are walking out, or the certain knowledge that someone is high up in a  tree. Worse still is that second when something gallops across the path infront of you and it's three times your size. Her indoors always says that a deer can't hurt you but they do look big when they go flying by.  And the swans , well just don't go there is all I can say. Think we might struggle this year with the two youngsters to finish training in time for the dark nights , but hey ho, we have to try. Just have to put them next to she who must be obeyed and form a circle around them to keep them safe.   Talking of scared... Yours truly has entered himself for a dog show at Newmarket this weekend...... All that totty they told me, but now I am beginning to wonder if I did the right thing???  Oh well to quote the SBS......  He who dares wins bones.   Cool runnings Gryff

Going down.....

Anybody checked our inbreeding coi in the last few days????? It's gone down from 5.1 to 4.8 HURRAY! Ok it's only a little bit but it is definately the right direction.  But then we seem to be developing a couple of other problems.... The number of bitches missing after matings  and when they are in whelp... The size of the litter! I keep looking on Facebook and the litters on the continent just seem so much bigger that ours, nine and ten pups seems standard to them, while here it seems to average four or five pups! Any body got any bright ideas???