Are your two legs badly behaved?

Well are they? Now normally we take our two legs with us every where... The beach, along the river, the odd show, carnivals , all those types of thing.... And generally they don't let us down. They drive us a respectable speed, after putting us in our seat belts. They carry rolls and rolls of poo  bags for us, they pack a reasonable to good picnic when we go out, and make sure we are well lit up in the dark. So WHY is it that all us canines keep getting invited away for B&B or holidays away when they don't!  Well there is only one thing I can think of.... They must mis-behave when we are not there to look after them. Now I am well aware that Trolls can be a tad unpredictable at times, but you would think that the ancestral pit would let him stay a while but  NO. It's back already with RETURN TO SENDER stamped all over it's large hairy butt! Perhaps his table manners are bad, or maybe  he is just too big to fit on the logs they use as chairs. I mean we have done our best to teach him... We've even had picture on Facebook of us dogs sitting on chairs, or draped over a nice large double bed to show him how it's done. When we accept our treats, we are so careful to take them slowly and gently so we don't  make the two legs jump. Bet that's it...... Bet he snatches his food with no please or thanku. And what about Her Indoors.... Well she's a whittler.... If she went way she would be constantly phoning texting or e mailing to check up on us. Did you brush your teeth and fur. Did you get all your walks in, did you eat all your tea and what was it? Doesnt bare  thinking about. And then there's the next generation back. Think she's taking her tea or coffee too strong... Fallen over again. Oh they do worry us these two legs. I told nanny to stop drinking anything with bubbles in because they make her light headed... But no she knows better. She only has two paws so she's bound to be less stable than us quadrupeds.... And Bobs  your uncle and she's fallen over again. No wonder us canines need holidays. All the stress and worry they give us.... All I can say is make sure your two legs are bark trained properly.  Cool runnings Gryff