How do two puppy's = a new hoover

Www. The adventures of Gryff.... For weeks now her indoors has been doing her best to remove every single hair on my body. Well all of us really! We have been washed, dried, and ironed, hoovered, brushed, and tossed out in the strong winds with the evil intent of removing  every single  piece of fur on our bodies. Then when she's stolen it, she has the cheek to give it the birds that live over the back to make their nests with.... Now not content with the two VACUMES she already has, she's just sent the troll out to purchase another one. JUST HOW MANY HOOVERS CAN A TWO LEGS USE AT ONCE???  In fairness, there was a very funny smell coming from one this morning. Bit like singed feline!!! But worse, then she goes into orbit because it's bunged up and emitting the smell of burning. Seeing as the troll was supposed to be in charge of it at the time, I would have blamed him, but no it was our fault. Well that's just plain stupid. How can it be a Bernese crested's fault when I only have fur left on my ears? Well I told her.... It's got to be the new puppy's fault. They are the only Berners with decent coats left. The rest of us are bald.!! Well not totally, but we might as well be. She reckons because it's  SPRING ( where!) our coats have been falling out and we have murdered the VACUME.  Well I don't agree and that's an end to it. We have all decided that we are going on strike! No more tidying up their left overs, no more taking them out for walks to keep them fit. No more putting up with the trolls snoring, and most of all NO barking to tell them somebody is about...... See how they like that? See if they can cope on their own!  Ok sometimes there are balls of fur blowing around on the tiles a few seconds after the VACUMES gone away.... But a bloke has to have a scratch now and then. Then there's Freya doing her après puppy routine rubbing her delicate derrière (for that read big butt) against the door frame. She's not quite back to the pole dancing yet but she will be... Then the Kray twins keep hanging off each others necks when they are playing and lumps of fur are collected as evidence for use at a later date, and then there's Ghostie the all white jelly. Mr Perfect ! Being a jelly (gsd  and a shivering wreck) well his fur comes out due to the vibration.... Ok told you, IT'S THE PUPPY'S FAULT......Cool runnings Gryff

Escape from the OK Corral

Www. The adventures of Gryff. Now as all you regular readers will know, I am now the proud parent of two rapidly growing pups, officially christened last night, with bubbles and biscuits as Hatty and Hetty. Hatty's to be two leg parents came over to meet her last night, and a wonderful time was had by all. At twenty days of age , Hatty weighs 2.4 kg and Hetty 2.2 kg, and up till last night although mobile, could normally be found within a two foot radius of where they had been left. Now Freya has this 5x6ft special basket, where the sides come off so that who ever is on puppy watch can see exactly what's going on, so as normal the front was off and security was tight with the search lights arcing and the puppy guard on duty this morning, when it was announced that it was pink potion day! Now the last time the pink worming potion came out, no resistance was met to its application. I knew what was going on, so being a brave and  besotted parent I beat a hasty retreat into the dog cupboard looking for treats , carrots or even biscuits till it was safe to come out again.  The puppy sitter being helpful left their post, and went in the cupboard to get out the scales and puppy potion, and you can imagine his face when he turned around to no puppy's. Panic, panic panic. Nearly popped his blood pressure pills in three seconds, when a very definate defiant noise was heard. There , at the baby gate were a pair of  puppy's  making a rapid exit in the opposite direction to the puppy potion. Last night we watched a full grown bloke, melt in the paws of a three week old pup , this morning we saw one collapse with relief at the paws of two three week old puppy's..... Just because he knew where they were. Well as I said, now the front goes on and stays on.... Puppy sitter or not, but it's nice to know that they take after me...fit , active, and totally adorable. Oh and handsome/pretty too. As for the pink potion, well done girls, chips off the old block.... Walls, table, ears , paws, even a back paw and tail, any where but where it should be!!!! Just love it when a plan comes together. Looking forward to the all in wrestling competition in ten days time when it's the next pink potion day. Until then I shall continue my puppy watching duties, and being an extremely able guard dog. Keep telling Freya to chill out, I have it under control, but @@@@@@ is she trigger happy with the bark button at the moment.  Guess she'll be interviewing for a new sitter unless the troll can convince her that he won't let "The Great Escape" happen again. Cool runnings Gryff

Baby Berner washing machine threat....

Www. The adventures of Gryff. ... I know you remember the Kray twins/asbo sisters Lace and Asti, well Lace has gone away with Merlin for a few days, so now was deemed a good time by the two legs (as in divide and conquer) to bath the remaining trouble maker. Now our Asti was never a little girl, even though when she was born, she was the one that refused to eat for two days and had everybody in a stew... Anyway on went the cauldron, out came the implements of torture,shampoo, towels, hair dryer and such like. Now we all normally go to a groomer for our twice yearly puff and powder job, so Asti just didn't see this coming. A quick swoop, a two legs at either end and into the tub. Her face was an absolute picture. Stunned amazement !!! Anyway, true to the breed, she fought back valiantly. The two legs were soaked, the walls, carpets, radiator, and about a dozen great big  towels..... Score at nd of game....Asti 1 two legs 0. Cool runnings Gryff

2am and I am tired and bored

Www. The adventures of Gryff..... Well I personally don't know how you ladies do this baby thing...I really don't. It's 2am (ignore the time set, its never worked)  and Freya is still going strong. In a week the babes have doubled in size and now take great delight n scurrying across their oversized basket as fast as they can. I know their eyes are still shut, but it doesn't seem to slow them down at all. And I can't remember the last time I slept all night, because her indoors keeps kicking us all outside for a wee every coupe of hours. Even the troll is turning a paler shade of warts and green because he's short on sleep(and majorly bad tempered into the bargain) Mind you I suppose his damaged paw is still being a nuisance. Her indoors says trolls are like Mae two legs.... Don't ever try and get them to do two things at once...it never works . Atleast at this time in the morning I can read up on all my canine friends and get back up to speed. There seem so many out there with problems , so  hang in there please, the world is a better place with you here, and for those who couldn't stay..... Always in ur hearts and thoughts, we will miss you. Cool runnings Gryff

Boil washed deer!!

Www. The adventures of Gryff.... Well this morning it was my turn to go out first in the queue for my walk. Since the pups arrival, her indoors is insisting that we all go out on our own with her... She keeps muttering about individual time and not being left out and all that guff. All I want is a good long run, but this morning that was not to be. Now the old bat at the best of times needs her specs to see where she's going, so I thought my luck was in when I realised that there was a MUTT JACK deer thing in my wood. The gas board recently cleared some of their land so I think it's from there. Anyway, her indoors thought it was a boxer (well I did say she needed glasses!!) so she didn't bother putting me on my lead( my halo is pretty shiny where other dogs are concerned) and then it clocked us and off it went. Well which self respecting canine wouldn't  go after it. Dogs got to do what comes naturally.... Anyway I heard her shout a couple of times and I thought OK home James and get a treat (for that read it left me standing so I took the soft option) and home we went. (halo slung over one ear shining brightly) next out was Lace, and they were talking to a bloke with a designer dog and a  lady with a sheltie. Her indoors was telling them about the Monkjack and u could  see that they just didn't believe her. Well, the old DD shoved his beak into some bushes and out shot the Monkjack.Off they all went, chasing this deer, and even the old lab just coming out his gate went off. You can imagine the old two legs jumping up and down trying to recall their pooches. Well guess who was the only dog to come back?..... LACE . I mean what are the odds to that. If I were a betting dog I would have lost every biscuit I possess.  But the thought of the two legs doing the can can and bouncing up and down does make me smile. Anyway, hail the conquering heroine... Laces halo is now glowing bright pink and she's got this really smug smile on her chops. All I can say is that eventually all the other dogs came back , well worn out, and having missed the Monkjack by miles. But WE all got a special treat.... Digestive biscuits covered in cream cheese. Shine on baby, shine on..... Cool runnings Gryff

New arrivals

Www. The adventures of Gryff.  It gives me great pleasure to introduce my two new puppy girls Hatty and Hetty. Freya went rather over time and on Monday the puppy's were delivered by the vets.... That girl definately knows how to hold everybody's attention , and is holding out for maximum spoiling as we speak. All the girls are eating well and and we have even had a litte tiny wag of the  tail from Hatty as well as all the squeaking when they decide it's meal time which practically all the time.  Life became a little more complicated on , I think it was Tuesday, when the troll went and deposited a kettle of boiling water on his foot. So now we all have to que for our walks with her indoors, as he let the hospital "burst his bubbles" and now cant wear any shoes. Add to that the two hour sleeping, two hour puppy sitting routine, and it's fair to say I am absolutely worn out. They never said being a dad was such hard work..... And now I know why all that food kept coming in over the last few weeks... Darn good job they did, we have our bowls to consider. Anybody out there know of anybody who does doggy delicacies delivered... Pizza, chicken or icecream would be cool!  Anyway I can hear squeaking again, so gess I had better go.... Talk soon...Cool runnings Gryff