How do two puppy's = a new hoover

Www. The adventures of Gryff.... For weeks now her indoors has been doing her best to remove every single hair on my body. Well all of us really! We have been washed, dried, and ironed, hoovered, brushed, and tossed out in the strong winds with the evil intent of removing  every single  piece of fur on our bodies. Then when she's stolen it, she has the cheek to give it the birds that live over the back to make their nests with.... Now not content with the two VACUMES she already has, she's just sent the troll out to purchase another one. JUST HOW MANY HOOVERS CAN A TWO LEGS USE AT ONCE???  In fairness, there was a very funny smell coming from one this morning. Bit like singed feline!!! But worse, then she goes into orbit because it's bunged up and emitting the smell of burning. Seeing as the troll was supposed to be in charge of it at the time, I would have blamed him, but no it was our fault. Well that's just plain stupid. How can it be a Bernese crested's fault when I only have fur left on my ears? Well I told her.... It's got to be the new puppy's fault. They are the only Berners with decent coats left. The rest of us are bald.!! Well not totally, but we might as well be. She reckons because it's  SPRING ( where!) our coats have been falling out and we have murdered the VACUME.  Well I don't agree and that's an end to it. We have all decided that we are going on strike! No more tidying up their left overs, no more taking them out for walks to keep them fit. No more putting up with the trolls snoring, and most of all NO barking to tell them somebody is about...... See how they like that? See if they can cope on their own!  Ok sometimes there are balls of fur blowing around on the tiles a few seconds after the VACUMES gone away.... But a bloke has to have a scratch now and then. Then there's Freya doing her après puppy routine rubbing her delicate derrière (for that read big butt) against the door frame. She's not quite back to the pole dancing yet but she will be... Then the Kray twins keep hanging off each others necks when they are playing and lumps of fur are collected as evidence for use at a later date, and then there's Ghostie the all white jelly. Mr Perfect ! Being a jelly (gsd  and a shivering wreck) well his fur comes out due to the vibration.... Ok told you, IT'S THE PUPPY'S FAULT......Cool runnings Gryff