Peace perfect peace.. And my paws hurt!

Www. The adventures of Gryff.  Well it's QUIET PEACEFUL and TOTALLY BORING.  It was THE  week this week. The week when the rug rats all left to go to their new homes . I kept telling her indoors they would all be fine.....they have the elite SBS (special Bernese Service) training to fall back on, covert ops, how to build bunkers, and for the girls, the Matahari flutter the eyelashes and look all sweet training. There isn't an owner out there of a Bernese pup that hasn't fallen for all the old tricks! The I AM STARVING! YOU HAVEN'T FED ME IN TWO HOURS AND THAT ROAST BEEF AND YORKSHIRE PUD SMELLS WONDERFULL look. The sitting in the kitchen with a front paw raised telling everyone that somebody has stepped on that darling little paw. The innocent look.... It couldn't possibly be me when somebody in the house has has an Andrex party, and you were the only puppy in the world that didn't get an invitation.  The HOLE! WHAT HOLE look ( but just remember to knock the mud off your paws before you go in side). Get my drift? As I said their training was of the highest degree. I know because I was taught by the best (thanks Merlin)  and I have handed the gift on.  Anyway her indoors  is now finding herself with a lot less to do, so she is currently running the paws off me and the two girls. All separate , down the river, along the hedge up to the road and across the railway lines, not once but Twice. When poor old Lace got dragged out, her indoors ended up carrying STRING all the way round too. We all knew she meant business because she dragged her old winter boots out of the shoe box. I personally have a theory about them.... Her indoors is a real shorty, but I reckon those boots give her a lift of about two inches and that way she can see over my head when we are walking. It's really weird, we go a few yards and she's taking off this big thick wooly thing cause she's hot, but she still wears those great big boots. She says its to stop her paws getting wet!, like that's a problem???? Oh well, between the three of us we should be able to slow her down, and if not we will just have to call in the reinforcements.... Freya and Merlin. Freya will bumble around in circles and get her dizzy and old Merlin will take so long sniffing and stuff she should loose track of time, and whittle he doesn't get worn out and bring him back.  Cool runnings Gryff

Eggs Bernerdict

Www, the adventures of Gryff.  Well the first pup is leaving today. They have been celebrating on and off all week, mainly I suspect because the cuisine has most definitely been improving. Gone is boring old pâté and toast, bring on Eggs Bernerdict straight from The Sav(al)oy!  (Really sorry but couldn't resist that one!) freshly scrambled free range eggs, covered with a layer of toast and pâté and seasoned with a gravy bone. And, AND. This  is their second breakfast of the day at 9am!  Do you know what the little terrors did?  Off went  my favourite bit the gravy bone, they wolfed the pâté then chased the eggs all around the place and finished with the biscuit. Just no manners some pups, didn't think to leave us any! And then last night they had meat , biscuits,  pasta, peas cauli and gravy...... I mean what can you complain about . (In fairness so did we, but that's so not the point!)   Anyway this afternoon Monty is leaving for his new home down south. ..... And the troll has been busy doing all the forms and the recipe book that will go with him. His bag is packed, rugs, toys extra food (for about a month! Anybody would think he's going to Siberia) never mind all the goodies toys baskets and kit he's moving in to!  Anyway I will put money on the troll blubbering when the little TIKE  turns and waves goodbye . Tizzy says she personally will be quite happy to say goodbye to all those little teeth, me, well ,  I will reserve judgement! AND I haven't quite finished their education. How will they know which shoes to chew, where to find the spare toilet rolls for a party?  And what about our record of making her indoors do the same washing three times in one day.... How will I know just how good teacher I am?  Just have to rely on updates and pictures...... Just wont be as good as teaching them myself. Oh well, perhaps there will be a next time. Cool runnings Gryff

St Trinians goes CO ED

Www. The adventures of Gryff.. Up till now the advanced schooling of all pups has been a strictly female thing... Until of course I arrived! (See rapidly inflating head) .  Up till this litter the girls have wiped the floor with us guys, but on this occaission  it's even Stevens so that's forced her indoors to change the rules and admit all the boys.   Needless to say that the most well known students from past years are the Kray twins who still carry on the proud traditions that school instilled within them. Anyway after designating the  utility room the new DOGS COMMON ROOM, (as in no girls)  us guys started planning various little windups and schemes that will all have to be played out before next weekend when school dissolves until the next litter. (Her indoors keeps telling us that she's had enough and she's retiring no more schools and she's taking up bank robbing or applying for a 007 job, both being easier than bringing us up) . Well as the new head boy (as opposed to the Senior Tutor/student liaison officer Merlin)  it's down to me to instigate, direct and control all pranks BUT at the moment I and the Krays are  banned to external sports only..... Can't tell you what we did until it goes up before the board of governors  but having a number of little items on the troll, we are sure that there will never be a united verdict so we will get away with it!  I could get used to this! Anyway  I just saw one of the little rug rats with a packet of biscuits heading for our new common room so I need to go and pull rank, after all I only have six days left till schools out. Oh while I remember, hope everyone is having a cool time at the garden party.... I booked us all a ride to go but the Krays said they needed the bus, something about the Bank Suisse and a load of paper being delivered????  Cool runnings Gryff

Are they too young?

Www. The adventures of Gryff.  It's amazing watching the pups, how fast they are growing. Cheeky little so&so's sit in front of the toaster every morning and now get the first slices of toast and pâté. I mean what exactly are they doing to go right to the front of the queue? Then this  morning after I have spent hours on a nicely rounded hole slap bang in the middle of the lawn,  I go wandering out to see two puppy butts sticking out of it and the little blighters  are passing comment on my work!  Then just as I think....aaaarrrhhhhh ... The boys want to join the family firm, I hear the little @@@@ saying they could do better and the sides aren't verticle. If it wasn't for the fact that they are my boys I would probably consider planting them at the bottom of it!  Her indoors said I should be grateful that they are taking after me and not the Kray twins.  Which  I suppose when I remember their more eccentric little plots is a very valid point. If they followed the Krays it would be me at the bottom of my hole with a skull and crossbones on top. Perhaps I can get the girls to follow Lace about for a while.... She's always got a tea towel (garrotte ) or a dustpan and brush (to remove evidence) in her mouth. They don't know her as well as I do so to them it would just look like domestic bliss. Yes now that's not a bad idea. And then there's the big broom they keep dragging around..... She could teach them how to sweep up as well as scattering biscuits every where. I keep telling the troll that blackmail won't work with the little rug rats .... I saw him giving them sausage rolls.OUR SAUSAGE ROLLS!! And Digestive biscuits. When they miss the newspaper he has a bit of a wobbly, and her indoors being really really annoying always asks him what he's given them to eat. Wish she'd ask me, I'd soon tell her!  Anyway it's time for lunch and us big dogs need to get to the front of the queue thee days. Cool runnings Gryff

A dog worth a £1......

Www. The adventures of Gryff..... Now I have always thought that her indoors is a pretty chilled out creature, especially when you remember that coming from Welsh extraction, the dragon scales and hot breath can pop up when she gets ticked off!  One of the things she always does when we go to a show or a canine event, is stop as we go in and she always says....I AM ARRIVING WITH THE BEST DOGS AND I SHALL BE LEAVING WITH THE BEST DOGS,  and we know she means it. She doesn't care who bred us, how much we cost, just how much she loves us and we love her.  Unfortunately over the last couple of weeks a number of people seem to have been pushing her buttons on this subject when it comes to the pups.  She has had one sentence e mails like HOW MUCH ARE YOUR PUPPIES I MIGHT CONSIDER  HAVING ONE, to chapter and verse and whole life histories. .... From those that have been waiting patiently in some cases months for a chance at owning a Bernese .   There is only one thing that her indoors has to say on this subject.... IF YOU ARE EVER LUCKY ENOUGH TO BE OWNED AND LOVED BY A BERNESE MOUNTAIN DOG....... YOUR DOG IS WORTH EXACTLY A £1.... £1 MORE THAN ANYBODY CAN EVER OFFER YOU. .... If you judge it's value by its price, then you shouldn't have one, because you don't understand the value of  unconditional love and having a Bernese in your life. For many it's been the loss of their wonderful dog that's brought home just how priceless they actually were.... And the need to have another one in their lives.  Value everyday you have your berner, each day is special and one day it will be the last, and you might not even know it.... Cool runnings Gryff

2014 Red Bull unveiled berner style

Www. The adventures of Gryff..... Anybody found any of those marbles yet, her indoors is definitely in need of them. I think she's lost the plot entirely ! She was out at one of the pet centres yesterday, I thought she needed a bit of a break so I stuffed her in the van and off we went. As usual her indoors hadn't got a clue what a Bernese needs in moments of stress, so we just took a wander around picking up this and that , things I thought were a good idea, or smelt good, until we got to the notice board. Personally I think it's the most boring section, but her indoors thinks its ok, so who am I to worry. Anyway by then half the girls who work there are fussing and feeding me. (What can I say, if you have it.... FLAUNT IT!) so anyway I just sat there looking all handsome and sophisticated. I still have my raffish look because the patch on my face hasn't quite healed yet, and I was getting all this sympathy when her indoors spoils it all by saying we had to go. ..... No consideration for me what so ever! Anyway out comes the old mobile and after a chat we go racing up the road to places I didn't even know existed. Her indoors had seen this advert for a new set of wheels. Now Merlin has the red car, the silver car has Teagues name on it, so logic says this one is going to be mine.... I am second senior dog in the place now, and as such I should be recognised! Right out into the middle of nowhere... Hat racks standing looking at us( those great big cows that wear hat racks and are all shaggy!) and there sitting in the drive is my new set of wheels. I was absolutely barkless! The damn thing was a dog buggy to take my pups out socialising!  Well she needn't think she's putting my name on the number plate. I won't be seen dead out with her and the pups. Just what does she think I am? I have street cred to consider.... Anyway she pays for it and off we go back home. First thing she does is google it £200 new and it's still got all the paper labels on it. Doesn't look as though its been out much at all. What a bargain she keeps saying. WHAT I WANT TO KNW IS WHEN DO I GET MY WHEELS. Not even a cart of my own, I have to ask to borrow Merlins!  I think I should take this further.. DVLA perhaps (Dog Vehicle Liciencing Assoc or CA (Carting Anonymous)  and it had better cost more than that  darn buggy.......Cool runnings Gryff

Going going GONE, anybody found her marbles yet?

Well it's official  her indoors has lost her marbles. This morning both of them slept through the two am alarm, then came rushing downstairs  at about three ,to four still sleeping pups, and then when they did eventually leave the ancestral troll pit, her indoors decided it was bath night. I mean... Bath night at 9am in the morning???? And then to prove that every single marble she ever had is now rolling around the countryside she managed to bath five dogs when there are only four pups in the first place. Poor Nell went in number one and number four due to a misunderstanding as to why her tummy was wet. Her indoors thought she was the last one in and had been lying in a puddle but the troll hadn't dried her tummy properly. OOOOPS!  Anyway as a say sorry they had biscuits soaked in bacon and tomatoe and have ordered their first proper Sunday lunch to celebrate their five week birthday. We are having mince,  boiled potatoes , broccoli , carrots and hopefully Yorkshire pud. Us big dogs just love Sundays and Theia being the good mum she is (and hoping to pass the catering to somebody else) told them exactly what to order, and then suggested they try Yogurt for afters. Add to that the Kray twins have been restructuring the garden again and you can imagine how happy the troll is! I keep telling them that you cannot hide the soil from one excavation by digging another and putting it in the second hole"... Because then you need a third hole to put the soil in from no2 hole!! Anyway who am I to argue with them.... It's Sunday and the parasol is up on the patio table so I am just going to wander out, take my place under the shade and chill.  Cool runnings Gryff

War of the worlds

Www. The adventures of Gryff.   Well the kids are growing up fit to bust these days. All of them have broken the 4 kg barrier with style. Dizzy Tizzy is now definitely struggling with the teeth they are all fitted with and doing her best to stay out of nibbles way. .... So enter semi solids and a little bit crunchy for most of the meals of the day. Got to say that they are cracking along nicely with the old potty training too. Mind you that's probably because there is paper most of the way across the kitchen floor all the time. Anyway this morning was W DAY! Out comes the old W jollop and her indoors calls the pups. I felt so sorry for them, they all came running(well as fast as their  little round butts will allow) thinking it was an extra meal. In they all piled to see the scales sitting on the kitchen floor. (The cooking scales became redundant days ago. Bits hanging out all over the place...totally useless!) have you ever seen one of those pile ups when  the first person stops dead in their tracks and everybody piles up  the back of them? Well that was the pups this morning . Legs and tails every where. Got to admit they did me proud though.... Bit like War of the Worlds.., if you are old enough to remember it. Lots of small creatures running around on the ground, while these bully's on long legs try catching them as everybody rushes round the kitchen. There was the Kray twins, me and Freya  all standing at the baby gate, barking and jumping up and down , cheering the puppy's on as they hid behind the pedal  bin, or the broom (still don't know why she always  parks it in the kitchen.... What's wrong with the drive ?)  or just gave them the run around! As you know I beat four Vetinary   staff up so to see the kids doing the same with the troll and co was AWESOME. ... And only five weeks old at that!  Anyway, eventually the poor little b@@@@rs ran out of steam, and got caught one by one. Out came the jollop and down their throats it went. There was pink stuff every where.... Think when they say how much to give, they  probably double the amount, divide by the amount of head shaking, take off the amount they end up wearing and hope the rest gets where it should be going.  All I now is those kids did me proud. Think it's time the old two legs had a bath, or at east a change of clothes.  It wasn't a fair match, but even so , it's worth the watching just for the laugh. Cool runnings Gryff

Puppy bath time.

Www.the adventures of Gryff... Well as you have probably gathered I am in the process of finding adoptive two legs for the pups.  The troll says her indoors makes them walk on hot coals to pass for consideration but Theia and ME, well I think we are worse. Two legs are funny creatures at the best of times, well we think so. Take this morning for instance. Normal 2am session chasing around sorting out the midnight feast,  then breakfast, then elevenses. Now her indoors decided that it was time the boys had a bath. Personally I see nothing wrong with a bit of rice pud or what ever in the fur. Just means that afters is catered for later on. Anyway, she wash dried and ironed the two boys and off they went to their rug and crashed. Meanwhile the Troll decides to do the elevenses to help out. Guess what..... Soggy rusk, puppy milk and scrambled egg.  I think if you asked me to put together a stickier, messier  more throw around kind of meal I would be hard put to beat it. Anyway in her indoors absence the bowls went down the pups woke up and chaos ensued! When she came back in the kitchen it was all over the cooker door, the pedal bin, the pups, ALL FOUR OF THEM,  the floor up the wall tiles.... Infact I would be hard put to tell you where it wasn't. Her face was a picture. The two lovely clean black dog pups were now punk rockers. Bits of fur were spiking up every where. It was on their ears , their backs, their tails. They were sticky , and Chinese boxing with gunged up paws.  Infact she had totally wasted her time with the old soap suds. Good old Troll, knew I could rely on him! So as usual it comes back to Theia and me to decide  who is a responsible  and acceptable ...... Where are those hot coals again??? Cool runnings Gryff

Andrex party pooper!

Www. The adventures of Gryff...   Well the pups are now four weeks old and growing fast. Theia is now of the opinion that they should feed themselves because they have teeth like killer sharks.. Merlin has started turning OFF his hearing aid because of the amount of noise they create but what worries me more is the liking they are all taking to the Kray twins. Talk about noses through the kiddie gate and kisses exchanged. Being a MERE FELLA I assumed that getting their noses nibbled would but the Kray twins off.... How wrong can u be?  The pups are now not prepared to stop in their high sided basket. They can't see any thing, they miss all the good bits, and why make a mess in there when you can do it on the kitchen floor , paddle through it and make an even bigger mess. To strengthen their case they have found that by bouncing on the side wall they can knock the toilet roll off and into them so they can play with it. Obviously a whelping box is not that large but it's still fun!  Anyway, they are currently spending more time in the kitchen causing chaos, with the big guns giving them all the backup that they don't actually need from the other side of the baby gate. I can only assume that Asti and Lace decided to show them how experts party with toilet tolls and not for the first time I might add!  In the downstairs washroom was a packet of toilet tolls... You know the really BIG bag with its own carrying handle. Anyway about four am the troll starts moaning from the confines of the little room that he can't find a replacement loo roll to go on the holder. ( I suppose we should be grateful there was enough there in the first place)  and her indoors was absolutely sure there was! Now normally I would call this a Mexican Standoff, but in view of the time and the fact that her indoors has got quite a nasty bite , I took pity on the old troll and went to look for myself.  Had to agree with him....NO TOILET ROLLS!  Now her indoors took this personally as she had unpacked the shopping and knew she had put the whole packet on the floor at the side of the cabinet. All of a sudden a deathly hush fell over the whole house, the troll looked at her , she looked at the troll , and they both raced out into the garden. ... Now being an intelligent kind of guy I headed in the opposite direction and with Freya and Ghostie the jelly GSD took refuge in Ghosties crate.... Thank goodness he always leaves the door open. You got it.... The original Andrex party ,in the garden, done to a standard that would make the Weasley Twins MEGA PROUD. Shame is was still dark, and my suggestion of a few photos  fell on deaf ears. It did look cool! Since then, all toilet rolls are now on window sills or tables not that this will stop the Krays.  As this is their third? paper party I think it's time they thought of a new theme.... What might be a problem is them discussing it with my progeny.... Makes me feel a little sorry for the prospective new parents. Of well, only time will tell. Cool runnings Gryy