Shopping bill doubles, and it's all my fault...so they say!

Www. The adventures of Gryff..... The two legs don't seem to be speaking to me, Freya definately doesn't have time for me, and Merlin just keeps looking at me and raising an eyebrow with a smug expression on his mush! That leaves the asbo twins and a jelly to talk to. GREAT! Apparently it's my fault that the shopping bill keeps going up every week.... I can't help it if I love my roasts and fresh veg..... What about all these tins of rice pudding and rusks  that keep going in the cupboard. There's great big tins of milk powder and heat pads and this and that walking through the door. Anybody would think food was disappearing for pooches sake. Boxes of biscuits (although I prefer the digestives they keep buying in sixes) chewys, sacks of biscuits carrots....what s going on? Anybody would think nobody will be going out for the next few weeks. Well they needn't think that will work, I want my walks... Her indoors is still getting up at some undogly time in the morning and dragging us out now, but she says that may change shortly..... Over my muddy paws it will...... Wish somebody would explain what all the bother is? They nearly forgot the Easter bunny had to call... Still finding bits hidden around the house, good fun looking for them though....  And then we find that Freya got hers in a bowl, complete with maid service so she didnt  have to go running around looking like the rest of us. Definately favouritism if you ask me.... Think I will have to start applying for jobs elsewhere... Aunty K, do you need a dish washer, or AJ, can I be Lola's escort on walks??? Just don't tell Merlin  I offered....you know how he is with his ladies....or anybody else have a vacancy for a good looking well behaved (well most the time) smiley young  dude? All positions as a dish washer will be considered lol.  Cool runnings Gryff

The patter of tiny paws....

Www. The adventures of Gryff.  I can hear the patter of tiny paws..... Do you remember a little while ago, I told you that Freya had a bit of a fling with me? Well she went to the vets yesterday, and we are pleased to announce that there will be a patter of tiny paws soon. Got to say there's a lot to be said for experienced females, this being her second litter, and although I say it myself, I am a smug old dog these days. The two legs did have a little bit to do with it, because they are a bit OTT as to who we meet with these things in mind. They say that they want us to live till we are twelve, and be happy and fit right up to the end. Got to sit back and wait now for the big day..... Her indoors is already clucking like a hen, although in fairness, I had noticed a slight bias in Freya's favour with the food etc a couple of weeks ago. And as for my Nanny, well she's over the moon. (Think I might be the first stud dog in the family.... Not that she wrong of course!)  Add to that the fact that is snowing hard, and I have to say , I am one happy old boy. Broels Mr Magic, dob 2.11.2011 hips 5:3 elbows 0/0 . Inbreeding COI  0..... One great big HUGE Berner smile..... Cool runnings Gryff

Sits Vac....New Troll Sitter required

Www. The adventures of Gryff..... Now as you know we have a tame Troll for a pet, and despite him being short sighted and more than a little grouchy at times we do happen to know how rare, and thus valuable trolls are. In fact I suppose it's fair to say that you would probably pay as much as for Welsh dragon as you would our troll. All I know is that Her Indoors says he costs an absolute fortune to keep.  Any way , last night, the fair and lovely Freya, who is his resident troll sitter was taken a bit pawly. Sorry if I sound a bit biased but her and I had a bit of a thing going on, but she suddenly seemed to think the troll had better snuggle facilities ... A great big double bed instead of a comfy old basket.  I suppose some might say that Berners should have the best of the best and I think they are right.!  But I do miss her... Especially since I now have the asbo girls for company. .. Not forgetting the snore brothers, Merlin and Jelly dog. I mean ,how's a guy supposed to get to sleep. I was busy peeing up a bush the other day, leg at a suitable elevation, when I must have dropped off. Never been so embarrassed in my life. Next thing I know I have fallen into the bush just when this long leggy blonde retriever was trotting by. Anyway, I digress,...  Miss Freya as I said took a bit pawly, she kept yelping when she moved and got the two legs in quite a tiss was. Everybody got up, kettle went on (why do two legs always put the kettle on?)  and panic ensued. I personally think she'd been doing too much pole dancing and running around last night on her walk... But who knows. Out came the mobile phones ,pre-set to VET emergency nos, and the biscuit tin came out. Now I personally think its a bit of a cheek, but her indoors reckons that a reasonable check of things is ARE WE EATING? Don't know what she means!!!!! Well our little prima Donna cleared up her cuppa and her little bone biscuits and then quietly returned to sleep on the trolls four poster.  Anyway the powers that be have booked her in for a check up ,so keep your paws crossed it just a bit of attention seeking. Anyway she's been put on troll sick leave, so we need another sitter for him.......Any offers? Cool runnings Gryff

OK... Now I am really ticked off!

Www. The adventures of Gryff.... Ok now I am really ticked. Off they all go at some time in the middle of the night to the best dog party in the world... They got snow, sarnies, and a brill day out and what did we get??????? Somebody dragging us out of our nice warm beds,  hauled round the countryside in a howling gale. Force fed breakfast, and it's still only 4am, and then we get told to look after the troll and the house for the day because she's off gadding about to Crufts. What does she take us for?  So where's the fun in watching the troll put his corn plasters on so he can ballet dance across the floor that he has just cleaned. It took us hours to finish our masterpiece... We called it NEVERENDINGPAWS and he destroys it without a thought. It could have been worth thousands to the right art critic.... Then he goes back to bed and leaves us sitting there like a load of soft toys. Did she give us a thought... No she just abandoned us. That's the second time she's done that, just waltzed off and left us and I am only sixteen months old. And then when they all came falling through the front door she hadn't brought a thing back for us. NOTHING NOT EVEN A SAUSAGE. They were all so full of who they'd seen, what they'd nearly bought and discussing all the totty that was there.  Atleast AJ found a nice collar for Lola .... It was only £385 all covered in sparklies but they didn't have it in pink so she missed out on that. Echo nearly got a four poster bed but again they didn't have one that was big enough, there was always an excuse! It makes you think seriously  about changing bedrooms...... Where was the consideration? All this  about being  'connected' , two and four legs as a team!  That's it she can move out of my bedroom now!  Totally unforgiven. Cool runnings Gryff

U'can Ph'ukoff

Www. The adventures off Gryff.... Do you remember my mate the Russian Black.... Well I was talking to him the other day... Having a bit of a moan about her indoors. I mean this going out in the pouring rain all this mud, it's got to be the reason that me and a few mates didn't get an invite to Crufts. I mean he said what about Scrufts because of the state I was in. So much for mates!!!  Her indoors and AJ are both going, without the mud that is, and my nannys going, so why can't we? I know it's the Kray twins ( Asti and lace. We reckon they should  have been called REGIna and VeRONica the amount of trouble they get us in). They got our biscuit money stopped. They swopped us onto peanut butter when us big dogs like pâté . Little shits.! Do they care.... No way. Anyway my mate the Russian black told me he would teach me something in Russian that would sort it all out. U'can Ph'ukoff. Only bit of Russian I know but it seems to work on the little monsters... LOL. Cool runnings Gryff

She's just got to go.... I'm exhausted !

Www. The adventures of Gryff..... It's no good, she has just got to go back to work. Us dogs  can't call a floor space our own. She keeps getting up at five and dragging us down as far as the railway crossing, which is miles away. Then when we get back, she grabs two more poor defenceless Bernese and it's their turn to have their legs shortened by two inches. We have just got to think of something else for her to do.... Other than housework that is. Anybody ever seen a TROLL ballet dancing on the points of his four toes because the floors just been washed. We just hang upside down from the ceiling out the way, batman style.  The washing machine is having dizzy fits, the Hoover has asthma  and the dishwasher has  died and gone to mechanical heaven. On the good side the home cooking is  fantastic..... So anybody think of something she can do.....JUST TELL US! Cool runnings Gryff

The old bats retired..... Oh shit, now what do I do?

Www.the adventures of Gryff.  Oh shit... The old bat's retired, how on earth do I cope now???? Think I need one of those PASS GO! NO QUESTIONS ASKED tickets. No warning, just upped and retired. She must be up to something, the question is what???  She can be really sneaky at times, and I know she will want us to carry on earning a bone or two... Need a sniffer dog, thats what! They would be able to find out what she's up to. She's been really quiet the last couple of weeks, then we started getting loads of cards , biscuits and sausages coming in, to say nothing of the chocolates that we didn't get a look in with. .... Then she ups and retires last Saturday. I mean what are we supposed to live on now? And then there's Lola, she's only been working with us for the last three months. Mum re christened her Queenie because she sits there and tells everybody what to do. Did u see her photo with AJ on Facebook. Lola's the taller one, but it's hard to tell because she wasn't wearing her crown.... Oh well suppose I had better go and shove my nose in the WANTED adds.... See what's going. Cool runnings Gryff