Love sick and suffering.....

I am never ever going to fall in love. It makes you grouchy, hungry , bad tempered, moody and over all you just look stupid. How can a dog I have respected all my puppy life make such a spectacle of himself. FEMALES!!!!! can't live without them, and he certainly can't live with them.Talk about howling at the moon... He's not eating, he doesn't want to go out. Last night he jumped the baby gate and he's ninety for bones sake. He could have caught something important on the top or worse and then where would he be? Yes the VETS!!! First , two weeks ago it was Freya, then this week Tizzy and worst of all for him, his beloved  Florence Josephine, so he won't see her for nearly three weeks. If he carrys on like this, he will have got that thin he will have fallen through the cracks in the floor tiles. I've tried barking at him, pinching his food, running off with his chewy and nothing. He just lies by the door, with those great big sad eyes , looking a complete bonehead.!!! Well he needn't expect any more offers of help from me.... He can get on with it, the old softie. Where's his self respect? Why let three females  get you to that state. I told him..... He needn't think he is going to Bryns birthday party with that attitude. There will be all sorts of major doggie bits on the menu and he will just look at all the two legs and they will be fussing over him instead of us. I know just how good he is with females, two or four legs. Absolute master of the poor me canine. Well I feel better for that, he says I am still too young to know what it's all about. And you know what, I'm glad I am.... I LIKE MY FOOD TOO MUCH.  I like running around like a mad thing in the pouring rain, mud skiing, leaf chasing and behaving like a luni dog. Blow getting old and sensible. I am going to play forever. Cool runnings Gryff.         Www.the adventures of Gryff

Trolls Yorkshire Hotpot... For those cold rainy winter days

Now as you probably already know, we are guarded at home by one of the meanest, most bad tempered and frightening creatures , commonly known as THE TROLL. Now our particular trolls ancestral home is somewhere in Yorkshire, and his own trollet (father of a troll) is still alive..... Now when I say mean, it's not just the temper tantrums, but it also refers to their pockets. All trolls are frightened of water, because of the weight in their pockets..... They can't swim, they only sink,and  the way into their pockets to get to their loot is about the same as looking for the end of a rainbow.So when he came back with this recipe we thought it would taste awful and we would struggle to see the size of portion.  How wrong can you be..... It's total magic. In fairness, the Hoff and I left both the girls to keep an eye on him so there was no messing around, so here is the recipe.... One pumpkin about the size of a big melon £1.... A full black pudding, £1.65..... Two or three ounces of whole grain brown rice 50p , some stuffing or some herbs to season. Peel and chop up the pumpkin (or swede or parsnips or potatoes) and roast till cooked. Boil the rice till cooked, and then throw it all in a big bowl with the black pudding and seasoning and stir it all up together. The troll is so mean he chopped the  back pudding up that small we couldn't pick it out.... You can either freeze it now, or warm it up in the microwave, and serve with kibble. And there was enough there for all of us, seven meals for three quid..... Something any troll can be proud of. His ancestral blood flows thick and green in the family tree. We are seriously thinking of sending him out on another foraging trip and seeing what else he comes back with.... It's my birthday soon so I wouldn't mind another SUPRISE for that. In the meantime my mate Bryn is having his first birthday party on Sunday, and his mum is an AWESOME CANINE COOK. So bring on the cold weather if it means snow and home cooking. Cool runnings Gryff

Www.the adventures of Gryff

American Football Bernese style

Ok, who's up for it?.. Our erstwhile quarterback newly retired has at last returned to the pack after having numerous and what seems like endless holidays away from us youngsters. Typical quarterback.... All the girls all the attention,and wanted by everybody. Now we can get back to our ball games!! Ony problem is our quarterback is now the size and the speed of a linebacker . A slow worm on overdrive would move faster than he can at the moment. It's all that special treatment and extra food that's done it. Her indoors will not be happy. We'll all be put on a diet ,extra exercise and all that stuff just cause of him! It's no good, I will have to be the quarterback and run and throw the ball and all that stuff. At least the cheer Berners line is looking pretty gorgeous. We have Freya, looking sleek and furry , Tizzy Tartlet who can attract any male, two or four legs at the bat of an eyelash, the slim and gorgeous Florence Josephine and finally Chaos and Havoc (Asti and Lace)  who have roughly the same effect on the opposition as  the mention of St Trinians does on a school governor . Then in the blokes line up we have MYSELF , Gryff the pocket rocket, Dexter the dynamite Blocker, old slow boat the line backer, my mate Bryn whose bounce puts a rubber ball to shame, Echo the muscles and finally Ghostie the jelly bean. (lucky if u see him let alone get a paw on him) . So now all that we need is another team to play against..... Any offers, we can use your ball if you like!!! Cool runnings Gryff

Dickins medal cont.

More and more two legs are coming to rely on us canines. We can detect cancers, epilepsy and sugar diabetes. We stop drugs, fire arms and explosives from being used. We visit and live with the elderly, the disabled, drop outs, street people, autistic children. We find things they have lost, we protect them from themselves and others and now our work can be acknowledged. In 2001 the PDSA introduced "THE GOLD MEDAL".  For animals who serve  and protect with love and loyalty.  So if you know of a dog that deserves being recognised...... Do something about it! Oh and one other thing I would like you to think about is Remberance Day in November. My two legs always get poppies for that day. Both their dads were RAF and served, but why don't you try and get a purple poppy in Rememberance  of the animals that served and are still serving, mostly dogs now.....  Go on, where your purple poppy in your collar with pride. Cool runnings Gryff.              Www.The adventures of Gryff blogspot

PDSA Dickin medal for animals

Did any of you Berners out there know that there was a medal for animals for bravery and valour? It's called the PDSA Dickin medal and was first awarded in 1943. To date there have been well over sixty medals all individually struck and given out to such diverse heros as Pidgeons, a Cat, a Fox , three horses and 27 dogs. Every single one of those recipients were put forward by the Army , Navy or RAF, and the ribbon the medals hang on is Green, Dark Brown and Pale Blue to represent the armed services. Twenty seven dogs, of all shapes and sizes who have loved helped and protected their two legs. The medals have been presented by royalty , in person, and posthumously showing just how much we animals mean to our two legs.
Probably the one you will all remember the most is an army explosives search spaniel  called Theo.  He and his two legs called Tasker were out on patrol when a sniper shot and killed his handler, the following day Theo died from an unexplained seizure..... Some people say a broken heart. Infact he is one of six dogs killed in action while supporting our armed forces. Theo's ashes were sent back with his handler for buriel in this country.  Once in a while a Dickin medal will come up for auction, and the last one fetched well over £20,000 but most are held with care at regimental displays or museums. One is now part of the new State Coach Britannia made in Australia as a present for the queen and I can't think of a safer place for it to be......of those sixty odd medal holders,  twelve are buried with honours at the PDSA cemetary at Ilford in Essex, along with 3000 other animals that were part of someone's life. Think I might have a word with she who must be obeyed..... I know where I would like my tag to hang one day, and  now it's possible to do it.   But then there's all those other dogs that we seem to forget. The search and rescue dogs killed in 911,  the mountain rescue dogs, the hearing, seeing, and doing dogs that work to help and protect two legs.  Dogs that can answer phones, unpack washing, put the lights on, dogs like Endal who is also buried at Ilford. Do you remember Endal, the first Hound for Heroes Labrador.  .... Cont.

Suicide pasties attack defenceless Bernese mountain dogs.

Special edition. The Bernese office of welfare and war on pasties, has just announced that three Bernese mountain dogs were attacked in a kitchen this lunchtime by a group of flakey pastry Cornish pasties. The attack took place from an elevated position in a fridge when the door was opened and they along with other items of food jumped out targeting three defenceless Bernese mountain dogs. This crime was made more heinous because of the lack of warning and that two of the Bernese were puppies of four months. It is thought that a member of the two legged four figured Troll gang smuggled the pasties in to the home yesterday while the Bernese were at work and they laid in wait till lunchtime fell today. We are pleased to advise all Bernese lovers that our brave and loving gang of three were quick to do battle, despite the dis-advantage of SUPRISE, and were seen to despatch the enemy with great speed and accuracy. As yet the number of missing presumed  eaten (MPE's) is unknown, but judging by the pastry flakes all over the floor there must have been numerous attackers. The powers that be will of course be taking further action against the Troll on its return, as the floor at the time had just been VACUMED for troll hairs and then washed and dried!!!!! We are of course pleased to announce that no Bernese received any obvious injuries or stress , and indeed have expressed a wish to take the battle to the source of the enemy....THE BUTCHERS! Any other Bernese wishing to join the SBS (special Bernese section K 9 terrorists) can apply with age limits imposed, while those too young or too old should protect their own establishments against any further domestic attacks. Senior Officer Present Freya reporting to Commanding Officer Gryff.
Cool runnings Gryff

Are your two legs badly behaved?

Well are they? Now normally we take our two legs with us every where... The beach, along the river, the odd show, carnivals , all those types of thing.... And generally they don't let us down. They drive us a respectable speed, after putting us in our seat belts. They carry rolls and rolls of poo  bags for us, they pack a reasonable to good picnic when we go out, and make sure we are well lit up in the dark. So WHY is it that all us canines keep getting invited away for B&B or holidays away when they don't!  Well there is only one thing I can think of.... They must mis-behave when we are not there to look after them. Now I am well aware that Trolls can be a tad unpredictable at times, but you would think that the ancestral pit would let him stay a while but  NO. It's back already with RETURN TO SENDER stamped all over it's large hairy butt! Perhaps his table manners are bad, or maybe  he is just too big to fit on the logs they use as chairs. I mean we have done our best to teach him... We've even had picture on Facebook of us dogs sitting on chairs, or draped over a nice large double bed to show him how it's done. When we accept our treats, we are so careful to take them slowly and gently so we don't  make the two legs jump. Bet that's it...... Bet he snatches his food with no please or thanku. And what about Her Indoors.... Well she's a whittler.... If she went way she would be constantly phoning texting or e mailing to check up on us. Did you brush your teeth and fur. Did you get all your walks in, did you eat all your tea and what was it? Doesnt bare  thinking about. And then there's the next generation back. Think she's taking her tea or coffee too strong... Fallen over again. Oh they do worry us these two legs. I told nanny to stop drinking anything with bubbles in because they make her light headed... But no she knows better. She only has two paws so she's bound to be less stable than us quadrupeds.... And Bobs  your uncle and she's fallen over again. No wonder us canines need holidays. All the stress and worry they give us.... All I can say is make sure your two legs are bark trained properly.  Cool runnings Gryff