al - CAT -raz

Having spent most of the day , not so quietly laughing at the huge losses the Troll had suffered, we got the shock of our delicate Berner lives when we got home...... We pulled in and these enormous spot lights  pinned the van to the drive, she who must be obeyed got out and this voice demanded.... WHO IS IT. .? Looking around she couldn't see a thing because of the search lights, when SLICE N DICE strutted around the front of the van, tail up and looking real officious. Now SLICE N DICE is called that for that one reason..... You do not, ever, never, mix it with this cat. Bigger dogs than us have been found half buried or worse with a sign on the top that says..... Here lies a dog that didn't listen! Had to have a look, and got way way too close. Signed this day (pick a date)  SLICE N DICE. Anyway, seeing who it was, her indoors was allowed to open our door and we all ran to the house door as normal.... But there we ran into trouble again. The Troll was standing there with it open enough to allow one dog through at a time.... We all had to be patted  down and searched and when we got through the door, we saw that the cell block , always empty,was now full of Bernese mountain dogs. OH @@@@! All the dogs connected with the theft of the toasted cheese butties were in prison! Walking up and down, and over the tops of them was MISSCAT. She even had one of those tall whicker cat baskets on the top so she looked like a guard in the great escape in one of the towers. At the kitchen door infront of our bowls, was FATCAT. Now Fatcat is not the brightest  kitty in the litter, but what he lacks in brains he more than makes up for in size.  The puppy's were three months old before they dare look him in the eye,  and that was when they were standing on the step and he was  on the floor, he still weighed more than them then!!!  So we knew we were in for a rough ride, and that was without the troll who was still fur searching those still not allowed in! What was worse was that our bowls were empty!!!  Fatcat kept walking around us all as we stood in a huddle looking at the table where our dinner is normally waiting for us.  Finally, the troll came in , jangling this huge bunch of keys, where he had just opened the cells and let Freya Asti and Lace out.  Don't think anybody moved until they were told to as the dinners were put infront of us one by one . ... And I don't think anybody will steal his breakfast again in a hurray.  The cats are still on patrol, and the whisper is that they get paid on Friday, with a bonus if nothing else goes missing....IN CHEESE. Cool runnings Gryff