Mud glorious mud, nothing quite like it for.....

Www. The adventures of Gryff.  Mud glorious mud, nothing quite like it for.... Decorating the walls, floors, ceilings, washing machine, fridge , cooker..... Add infinitum. If I didn't know better , I would say that them indoors are getting just a tad ticked off with our united, four pawed decorating style! (OOOPS ) I suppose that forty odd paws (don't forget the cats) plus the trolls eight digits are going to be a little wearing if one was house proud..... So stay out of the house!!!  I know, but it's the weathers fault not ours. If you ordered what you wanted, this would not be happening. .. And then you would be bored with nothing to do! Now around here we have strong winds, and the large areas of lying water on the fields have waves on them. Her indoors won't let us go near them, but she doesn't see the ones in the grass, well not till we are galloping through them, throwing water every way we can and having a brill time. Don't know what she means...... Clean dirt. How can you have clean dirt?  Apparently snow is clean dirt, water is clean dirt, while mud and the river are dirty dirt. WELL I ASK YOU? HOW DO WE WORK THAT ONE OUT?  On that note, it's time to pile into the van and go and find some clean dirt, BRING IT ON BABY...... Cool runnings Gryff

SAS special ops ....SBS style (special Bernese style)

Www. The adventures of Gryff. .. The other morning when we were dragged  out for our walk, it was  minus 10 and freezing fog. What better conditions for a little camoflage practice. Went out black, and after ten minutes I was covered from paw to tail in frost and pure white. Could she find us across the fields?? IN HER DREAMS! Anyway last night I decided that I could do with a bit more practice, so I  blacked all my white bits out, and hopped over the kiddie gate from the kitchen into the hall. I crept along the hall wall, taking care to stay off the cream rug (a dead give away with black fur on) till I got to the bottom of the stairs. Now Merlin was fast asleep on the top step (a big square thing it is. Well it would have to be with Merlin lying on it) giving it the old zzzzzz zzzzzz. So gently, a paw at a time, and pinned to the wall I crept upstairs. Now our stairs tend to creak a bit, so u can imagine how light pawed I had to be. Anyway, as my nose reached the step where Merlin was asleep and I was just peeping over... He gave this enormous sneeze in his sleep, and nearly blew me back a couple of stairs. Frightened me to death..the old fart! Anyway I slid round the door frame being careful not to step on him, went belly down and crept to the bottom of the bed. There it was, all comfortable and warm, with her indoors fast asleep in the middle. Now as you know, us Berners can only get on the bed with a flying leap, but that was going to wake her up ... So how to do the next stage. Discretion is the better art of valour so I crept round to the window side, stepped onto this box thing that stands there and then across onto the bed. BIG HUGE sigh of relief . All I had to do was lie down and snuggle up and MISSION COMPLETE.  Folded the old legs up dropped down beside her...AND ALL HELL BROKE LOOSE! That @@@@@ little shit Slice n Dice was under the bloody covers and I landed on her. So much for quietly getting on the bed! Tell you what though, I will have to watch her more carefully in the future... Her camo 's so much better than ours!  To say her indoors was not happy is an understatement. All I can say is...YOUR CARD IS MARKED CAT! And I will have to try again another night. That or get a set of wellies. Wet paws means downstairs, dry paws means a double bed with all the trimmings . Cool runnings Gryff

R I P Jack dog.... 19 Jan 2013

Www. The adventures of Gryff.  Once upon a time, many years ago, our friend Lawrence went down south to go to a party...and when he came back he brought back our mate Jack Jack.  Of indeterminate age, and bearing the odd scar of life, he moved in with Lawrence and Val and settled as though he had always been there. The three things in his life that became all important to him were Lawrence, food and his teddy bear, in that order I might add. Any of us could walk into his home unannounced , and he would always be the perfect host. Biscuits treats company, nothing was too much bother, but time marches on, and Jack began to struggle. On Saturday evening Jack suffered four fits while in Vals care, but managed to hang on till Lawrence got to be with him. As with a lot of animals, they wait for the people they  love to be there to pass over the rainbow bridge with their touch on their fur..... But this is not the kindest way to go, and the anguish it causes the two legs is severe. All they can do is talk to you and touch you and pray that there is no pain.  It seems fitting that Jack will remain at his home, together with his rug, and teddy bear, forever playing in the snow.

Our friends have never done FB,  Val especially being allergic to computers, so I thought if you would be kind enough to show them that they are not alone with their loss, I could show them on my computer that people do care , that they have been in that hard place, and that given time, they will remember the good times. To friends Lawrence and Val, we offer our thoughts and love.

Cool runnings Gryff

Snowy Sunday with bells on!

Www.the adventures of Gryff..... We have had the most brilliant of mornings today. Her indoors got hold of the Troll this morning by his bad toe and dragged him out of bed, telling him he had to go out for a walk in the snow with us before it all disappears... It was so funny!  Anyway, twenty seven layers later , the troll and the four of us plus her indoors are off out to find a nice snowy set of fields to run over. If you are wondering why only four Berners... Tizzy is clubbing and pubbing round at our uncle Steves, and Merlin went out on Friday with uncle Rob and Dexter for an all boys day on Brancaster beach to CELEBRATE  Robs birthday. Needless to say, the three geriatrics have been suffering since. All that food and alcohol if u ask me!!! As far as Ghostie the jelly dog, well we made sure all three cats were in to baby sit him, so there was this great big ball of white to smoky grey fur with Ghostie as the pillow at the bottom. He really really hates getting wet and some of us think that really he is a cat in dogs clothing. Anyway, her indoors dragged the troll for miles  with us running around and playing indians, and having a major time in the snow. Anyway after about an hour and a half, old moaning milly says he s cold and wants a mac Donald's. Well her indoors isn't keen on what she calls junk food (personally I think it's great) so off we went , and when he came out he had his great big bag. We got home, and the toast went on for our elevenses ( she gave us breakfast at 5 so we could all run around later on ) and he walks in saying he's got seven sausage mcmuffins and his breakfast.... Well as I said, only five dogs, BONUS! So elevenses consisted of a mac muffin plus each and our pate n toast, with a nice warm cuppa.  Needless to say he wouldn't tell her how much it came to, but on this occasion we are all on his side. ..... Well wouldn't you be? Now all we need is a nice quiet doze ...... Zzzzz zzzzz zzzzzz. Cool runnings Gryff

Saturday night special..... Beef burgerinon

Www. The adventures of Gryff... We have had a cracking twenty four hours with all the snow, and you would think it would be impossible for anything to go from frozen.... But not so! For some reason, known entirely to itself, the fridge freezer (one of two, got to allow some space for the two legs...) decided to thaw itself out, including all its contents. The first the two legs knew was the puddle of water for which they were pointing their stubby little paws at us, which was gently spreading across the tiled floor at a rate similar to a tsunami. Of course panic ensued but it was far too late to save the contents. Now us Berners, being of a brave constitution valiantly offered to help them out by eating our way through all the sausages, beef burgers ( no most definately beef and not horse... I mean how could we look the horses on our walk up the nose and into their eyes without giving the game away?) meat pies, pasties etc rather than letting them pass to oblivion in a dustbin bag. As the saying goes...A DIRTY JOB. BUT SOME DOG HAS TO DO IT!  So tonight we all plumped for Beef Burgerinon. Just pop the oven on, chop up some potatoes... No skins of course, peas carrots, a sprinkle of pasta, some water and stuffing and of course the chopped up beef burgers.  Put on a sheet of tin foil and pop in the over at 180 for about an hour, stirring occaisionally . Personally I would prefer larger lumps of meat, but her indoors says we would pick them all out and leave the biscuit! AS IF! When it's cooked, allow to cool for a few minutes and then put ON TOP of a layer of crunchy biscuits ,allowing the gravy to soak into the biscuits (craft old boot) . When it's cool enough, serve with a garnish of grated cheese. AWESOME! Tomorrow for breakfast I happen to know its sausage.... And we got an apology for the pointed paw of accusation. Treats all round as a sorry!Cool runnings Gryff

Get that motor running...head out on the highway

Www. The adventures of Gryff.   Get that motor running , head out on the highway. When's that snow a coming , heading out my way!,,, anybody recognise my miss quote?  And more to the point WHERE  IS MY SNOW. I listened very carefully to the weather man , and he said from six am it would snow. Got her indoors up at 5 , 5.15, 5.30 (just in case it was early) and every twenty mins or so after that and NO SNOW.  Talked to the Tesco artic driver and he told me it was coming up the M4 whatever that is.  Told me he had food drink, a tv, an in cab heater and a big sleeping bag just in case, but he'd forgotten his teddy bear. Would I consider the job. Bet he was just trying to save money on the heating bill. .... Although in fairness, I could have eaten all his docky (Bernese for food) no problem. We always have a natter.... Cause we bark and go ballistic till they come and spoil us. Her indoors says that pinning them to the lorry and drowning them in slobber and kisses is not the right way to do it, but who cares. It works for us! You can always tell a new bloke on the route because they will not get out the cab.... Then the other drivers wind them up and call them wimps. Bit like our postie.... He always let's the new bloke through the door first, and then bursts into laughter as we all rush out to say hello!  It's just something they do to wind each other up. Well it's nearly mid day and still no snow... All those fancy computers and they still can't get it right!!! Might as well grab a sausage roll or two and put my head down for a bit. Good job my legs a lot better...otherwise she won't let me out. You know I said the vet couldn't find what was wrong.... Well I got caught out last night. Her indoors was making me have a brush and she found this patch of heat between the top of my hip and my back bone... The old @@@@ gave it a poke and I said a rude word. Any way with the rest and the pills I am fine except she still won't let me run around.... Well it will just have to be snow holes and such.  Cool runnings Gryff

Poop past the eyeballs...

Www, the adventures of Gryff....  Guess who's in the poop past his paw prints...Merlin. The old so and so got caught out big time this morning... And guess who played the innocent defenceless puppy? You got it, ME. That dog would get away with murder , counter surfing, and basically anything he wants because he acts so old and innocent. He couldn't possibly counter surf, he's a veteran  and he can't stand on his back paws.. My hairy butt he can't. You try him with a sausage roll and BINGO job done. Anyway this morning he decided he would escort Lola home again and jumped in the boot first, then I tried to get in and he gave me both barrels. Whose car does he think it is? And then when Lola got in he really went all grumpy on me . Learnt a few new words there which of course I will practice later on, but her indoors heard it. After nine years he still hasn't learnt that you dont do that to her in public. She came marching up, said one word very quietly, OUT! And pointed him to the back door. Then he grumbled again and that was it. Car to myself, bit of totty for  company and a couple  of days holiday to help my PAWLY BAD LEG get better. plus of course my own personal masseuse Karina to pander to all my needs. Nice one Merlin, thanks muchly mate. LOL. You know there's a lot to be said for being well behaved.... People want to spoil you, give you treats, ask you out for walks, and sleep overs.... Magic. Anyway, must be time for my mid morning snack at Hotel Totty so if you will excuse me... Thanks Merlin, NICE ONE, cool runnings Gryff

House rule number 1

Www. The adventures of Gryff..... We only have one house rule which her indoors enforces 100% of the time. WHEN IT SNOWS EVERYBODY OUT. Doesn't matter which day it is, or what time it is, which explains why at 3am ths morning we all got turned out to play in the snow..... All that s except the Troll. "it's snowing, get up" ....GRRRHHHH..... "don't be a miserable @@@@, it's snowing"..... GGGRRRRHHHHH.....  "ok we'll go without you".... GGGGGRRRRRHHHHHH... Miserable old f@@t.  So out we all went, excluding the troll and a brill time was had by all. Personally I have only seen snow once when I was about three months old, and for the terrible twosome , well this is their first time ever so I know why her indoors was so insistent. I think she must have gone to sleep with her head on the windowsill and the cold woke her up. Can't think of any other way she would have known. I mean u cant hear snow falling can you and at 3am in the morning. By the time we had finished it was five am and time to get up anyway, so a nice hot breakfast, toast and then out to work. Left the two littles at home to sleep it off and then they can go and play out again later. Old trouts keeping a bit of a hold on me. She says I seemed a lot better on my three legs sat night, so she decided I didn't need a photoshoot at the vets today. She keeps muttering about OSCARS on the mantelpiece , and playing to the crowd. Can't think what she means!!! Us Berners are known for being cool under pressure!! I can't help it if I like being fussed and waited on( the bells the bells) talking about the maid servant, where is she?  Bet she's out in the snow again. Cool runnings Gryff

That's it, that's the last time....

Www. The adventures of Gryff..... That's it, that's the last time.... I come in to work all brave and ill and look what happens... That Merlin arrives in a motorbike and side car. Who the devil does he think he is.???? I'm the one that's sick and pawly, I'm the one that needs spoiling and fussing over. And what happens.... He turns up in a forty year old CLASSIC TRIUMPH ENFIELD MOTORBIKE AND SIDECAR? He goes off for a weeks RandR and has the nerve to come back like that.  He gets all the girls, he's got cars and carts everywhere, and now he's started collecting motor bikes with his mate ROB. They are even talking about doing the carnival this year with it. Well if they do , I want the vintage cart that's in the garage. That and the smart red and black leather harness. AND I am going to put all the bells that I got given for Christmas on it.... Which reminds me, got to find out which one is the loudest for summoning the two legs when I am draped all over the settee BEING ILL! (thanks uncle Mike and Aunty Kath, . Don't think you will be too popular in my house for a bit! The bells, the bells LOL) . I heard them saying that they had taken some photos so perhaps they will be in the FB album. Better ask AJ to have a look..... And the old so and so's went to bed last night and  wouldn't let her in .... Pair of @@@@@'s. strikes me ROB and Merlin are a bad combination. I think it's their age. They are both getting on and now have started behaving like teenagers.Just wait till I see AJ, I shall make such a fuss of her that Merlin won't get a look in, and the  lovely LOLA. That dog has got the longest legs I have ever seen. Drop dead gorgeous she is!  Time to turn my charms on and see what the old boys make of that! Where's my bell? Let's start as I mean to continue! DING DING. Cool runnings Gryff

Lot of clucking over nothing....

Www.the adventures of Gryff... See I told you I was fine but nobody listens to me... I'm just a dog! Sexy good looking , handsome, intelligent, and a perfect gentleman but you still don't listen. Got the vet with the rock on her fingure so not as bad as it could have been. She waggled my toes and tickled my foot ( for that read I was having hysterics because I was laughing so much. Not a SUPRISE I couldn't stand still) she squeezed up my leg, wriggled my knee around, squeezed pushed and flapped it all about, and then had the nerve to tell me that it looked like my sox had fallen down. Cheeky mare! Anyway the upshot is I have some pills to take and if it's no better on Monday morning she is organising a photo session. See I told you I was good looking.! So this weekend I get to be pampered and spoilt , waited on paw and foot, and get to lie on the settee with a little bell for maid service when I want something. COOL! Got to say the old girl knows how to treat a bloke when he behaves. They had some of those Jumbone things on the counter so she bought me one. She took the wrapper off it and told me to hold it till I got back to the van, infront of everybody. You should have seen the other dogs faces. I just took it off her gently, waved to the crowd and trotted out with it hanging out my chops. Even the vet was impressed with my manners. Then the receptionist spoilt it all by asking after the brats. That's right take away a blokes fame...... Anyway time for tea, if i still have room after my treat. Not telling the rest, they will only get jealous. Usually it's all for one, one for all, share and share alike, but this was my special treat. Cool runnings Gryff

Sexy three legged dog seeking female company....

Www. The adventures of Gryff. ... Well I think it's fair to say that a lot of Berners and their two legs are having a @@@@@ start to 2013. .... Hope you are not one of them, but life is being a bit of a bugger all ways round. ... Including me unfortunately. Been hopping around on three legs on and off for a week or more, and then yesterday I thought I had it cracked. Heard the magic word sausages and all four legs got me there at double speed , NO PROB. This morning I couldn't even get out of my basket....so what does she do.... Straight on the phone and I have to go and see the vet tonight. I told her I'm fine but she's turned her hearing aid off. She just won't listen! I have three  more perfectly good legs and I REALLY REALLY don't like going there. I know what the first question will be when I get through the door.... How are the puppy's???  Like I am bothered... They are fine and I want to go home NOW. She will expect me to be polite and well mannered, which in fairness I always am, but I DON'T WANT TO GO! I mean if I was really ill I wouldn't be eating like horse or wagging the old rudder, would I????? You two legs get a bee in your bonnets and that's it... I suppose I could be blackmailed into going. A nice rare steak, a piece of beef like Christmas.OOOOPs shouldn't have said that! There's still an official enquiry on that incident going on (lol) . ... But I mean, make it worth my while. Wouldn't be so bad if I get a lady vet.. Although one just got engaged... Noticed the rock last time I called in... Perhaps I an ask for the one that's still single. Bet I get the bloke,  be just my luck! Anyway I will let you know how I get on. Fuss over nothing I say.... Cool runnings (well not for me LOL) Gryff

Canine heaven on earth....

Www.the adventures of Gryff.. I just love Sundays, they have got to be the best day of the week, every week. A nice early bit of breakfast, a little snooze, a trip out along the river, two at a time, talking to the other dogs, ducks swans horses and what ever. Home for a nice hot breakfast.... Today's being pizza with toast and pâté followed by a couple of digestive biscuits, forty winks and impromptu carot party courtesy of the terrorists. And it's only just turned 10am. Told you.... It doesn't get much better. Her indoors is in a mega good mood aswell. She took Lace out with Merlin because she started barking at dogs in the distance, especially when it's misty like today. Seven dogs greeted in silence with a wagging tail, and then when a Terrior type four legged bad mannered  rat went for her, she recalled immediately, and nearly tripped over her halo in her haste to get back to mum. See with a bit of patience we can all be PRACTICALLY PERFECT. Lol..... Till the next time of course!  Mind you I would have said the carrot party was pushing it a bit, especially as its the second one in about four days.  Been catching up on PAWBOOK and various other Berner sites. Can I say to all who are not too well, we are thinking of you, and sending love to you all. Irrespective of the number of paws you possess, we are all on your side and if you need a bit of support or info.....JUST ASK. We will always be there for you.......Cool runnings Gryff

Meatballs a la Freya

Www. The adventures of Gryff.   Well as you all know, Freya is the matriarch of our family, and the proud mum of the Terrorists Asti and Lacy. She is also the Trolls most treasured dog, and as such can commit no wrong doing, can cook and run the house, can PLAY guard dog till the troll gets there and takes over, and is one of the best bed warmers that nature has ever created. After giving the matter some consideration, she gave the troll a shopping list and got him to hop off to one of the well known supermarkets because she was in the mood to cook. On the menu when we got home was..... Meatballs (on offer buy one get two free) with a hint of Black pudding (left from New Year) in a tomatoe cream sauce (again cream left over) with mixed herbs and seasoning.  First u put the meatballs chopped up in a saucepan with the cream , seasoning , some water and the mixed herbs and cook till done, or warmed up. You can add the pasta aswell and cook all together, or if u have some already in the fridge, it can be served layered as follows.....put a crunchy layer of kibble in the base of a bowl, then a layer of pasta, then a layer of chopped up meatballs in a runny sauce so it goes through all the layers topped off with grated carrot garnish. It was absolutely wonderful... Seconds thirds , just bring it on puppy. In all it cost about £8 but served twelve portions, so 70p a good healthy meal each. Perhaps this healthy food thing is going to be more fun than I thought.... Anyway the rest is in the freezer for another day, and tomorrow being Sunday, I know it's a nice long walk along the river ,followed by savoury porridge and a nice long lie down. Then IT'S SUNDAY DINNER..... Wonder what that will be? I know there's pork stock off the joint to be used.... The question is, what will be with it? Can't wait!  Oh and just to make you smile, the terrorists had a carrots party in the van the other night. A new net of carrots was purchased and left in the back of the van with the pups.Of course they couldn't wait, but her indoors face was a picture when she opened the doors. She got flattened by this wall of carrots as they poured out on top of her closely followed by half a dozen Berners with huge great smiles on their faces.... Keep smiling folks lol. Cool runnings Gryff

Poop poo dung scat manure fertiliser ......

Www. The adventures of Gryff.  Doesn't matter what you call it.... It's all the same, but without doubt the best of all is FOX POO! A large dab here, a roll around the neck, a slide down one side of the shoulder, a quick roll and then down  the other..... Then move out before you get caught! Life can be so sweet  (relatively speaking that is lol) . Do we do it to smell nice, to mask our own scent. As a power play because it belongs to the biggest dog  fox in a five mile radius or just to wind you up as a good start to the new year?  Guess its fair to say.... I GOT THE LAST LAUGH....Cool runnings Gryff :-) :-) :-)

Happy New Year Everyone

Www. The adventures of Gryff.  Well I started the new year as I mean to continue it.... Limping, hungover and with roast beef withdrawal symptoms. All I seem to have done is eat ,walk, get covered in mud and play with my Christmas presents (or eat them lol) for the last ten days. Can't say that's what her indoors has planned for us though! The limping is really good  except I can never remember which leg to use twice running! Oooops! Tried the growing pain thing to shorten the walks and get back for the tv and sausage rolls quicker but she rumbled me. .... So now we have started doing loads of new walks which we never turn back on.... She rumbled that one too.... Twenty minutes out, ten to get back! A bloke needs his sausage rolls. As for the headache, been practising that one. You just hang your head, look miserable and let the reds  of your eyes show . You know, bloodhound style! Do you know what she said.....A bit of fresh air would do me the world of good, and to go to bed earlier. Where was I when the silly @@@@@ said I had to get up at 4am for work every morning before Christmas .RIGHT BESIDE HER!! And as for the beef withdrawal symptoms, pork is only my second favourite! Mind you I did get my own back on Asti yesterday.... She accidentally on purpose bounced off my butt which just happened to be standing right on the edge of the river. OOOPS! She came out absolutely soaked.... Pinch my beef if you dare again. Merlin is going to take care of Lace....pair of beef rustlers. As for the pork....it will just have to do I suppose.  Suppose the new walks thing is good really. Never know where I am going to find myself when the van  door opens, but there seems to loads of totty about. Taking one of the terrorists is a bonus because she's more concerned they show respect to the golden oldies and it means Merlin isn't there for competition. I had one lady rubbing my ears for nearly ten minutes yesterday, and I was talking to her gorgeous goodie all the time. As Merlin aways says.. Nothing like a blonde with long legs and a wagging tail.  Well here is wishing everyone a HEALTHY HAPPY and LONG LIVED 2013 , BERNERS! canines and two legs alike. Cool runnings Gryff