Canine Diplomatic Immunity

There are times when I am so pleased that I possess Canine Diplomatic immunity and four paws rather than two hands and two legs and a machine of any type. About as far as I can go is my Bone Pad, and there are times when I think my paws are now too big for that. Him indoors is still having a bad week, and he has gone from a troll like deep green, through blue and is now bordering a deep shade of purple. His little warts are now standing out so far that I worry for him..... And all because of things that he can't control. Apart from still needing time to get used to being sugar intolerant ( the D word is now banned) the printer and the computer upstairs, although standing side by side are no longer talking to each other. Basic  normal couple then !  The printer has recently thrown a paddy till it got a full set of SAME NAME ink cartridges, having originally said it only needed a black one... (Do you think it's FEMALE by any chance). And now she's (sorry IT) saying that it doesn't recognise the make of cartridges, and this has been going on for a couple of hours now.  Added to that is the fact that SHE WHO MUST BE OBEYED made him help with the housework while it was cool has not helped his blood pressure at all. Infact as a precautionary measure we are all in our cool bunkers scattered around the garden with our tin hats ready for action.  Personally I know you two legs love to tinker with machines but why? All you seem to do is get cross crosser and eventually explosive. I suppose there must be the odd two legs that has an affinity with these little boxes but aren't we better? We are soft , comforting, responsive, usually rather gorgeous to look at, and always there when u need us. Agreed we have the odd annoying habits - shaking up the walls when we are wet, pinching all the bed to the expulsion of the two legs, the odd paw print, selective deafness , moulting as we walk through the house on the cream carpet.... But generally speaking we are quite easy going. Well I know I am! Her indoors says my most annoying habit is when I jump on the patio table, and walk through the utility window. In fairness I only do when she's just wiped everything clean ( just got to....) and I think the bit that really annoys her is because I am about two feet taller than her. Never mind I know she still loves me.  Cool runnings Gryff