Nutty as a fruit cake....

Sometimes they make me laugh...sometimes I could cry, and the rest of the time I think that my two legs are a bone short of a load. How on earth do you wet a puppy's head? I remember when I arrived new to home, there was a party which may or may not have been held in my honour (think I was asleep for most of it) but now they are both on about wetting the puppy's head???? Ddddduuuurrrrhhhh!! Now in the garden there is a fountain thing that belongs to me because I am the one that drinks out of it, and as we all know possession is nine points of canine law. Well anyway if they think they are floating puppy's in my drinking water they can just think again. AND! AND they have invited a load of other Berners to watch.... Echo Bryn FLO and sexy Dexy add infinitum. It's just crazy if you ask me. Even my wonderful Nanny Broels might be coming. I think they are totally nuts. Then there are the fridge fairies that her indoors keeps on about. She says that there are multi packs of Chocolate going missing out the fridge every day, and since we and her are not in all day where are they going. She did point out to the troll, that being allergic to sugar he should be having little or nothing to do with them, but even so they keep appearing when he does the shopping and disappearing as if by magic..... So therefor we must have fridge fairies. I can only say thanku to the canine powers that be that I am brilliant at counter surfing and being a cat burglar, but as yet I can't get in the fridge (YET !) . Anyway I can feel the call of the wild.... Supper time, so let's go and see what's about. There's a rumour going around that there is some liver just arrived and I need to make sure I get there before the fridge fairies. Cool runnings Gryff

She left me....

She did, she left me at home with the troll....anything could have happened to me and she wouldn't have known until she came home. She said it was a girly day and that Freya and pups and Theia could all go but I couldn't. Take your pick, its either sexist or dogist. The troll could have eaten me, or lost me in the river or anything and all she did was laugh at me. Then when she did come back, Theia was missing..... Gone to spend the weekend with Uncle Dick and Sarah. What kind of female is she e mailing pictures of herself draped all over black silk sheets? All she was doing was rubbing it in because she was on holiday.I know us dogs like our comfort but that's a bit naughty....and she got takeaway two nights and went to a boot sale.... All I know s she didt bring any boots back with her!! The only thing that makes me feel a bit better is we had another BBQ. Pork chops chicken kebabs sausages and steak , it was the best slump I have ever tasted. (SLUMP.. Technical term for home cooked meals like bone casserole or liver cake) and she missed it. Got similar tonight, so I suppose we will have to share that with her. Been continuing my digging career, although I think I will have to give it a rest soon. The ground is getting so hard and dry, so I think I must be getting close to Australia soon. Then when I tried drinking out the garden fountain the troll went bonkers and said I would get an upset stomach. He obviously doesn't know that it tastes nicer than the stuff out the tap. Talking of being I'll... Do you know the top things that are poisoness to us? Well here are the worst ones and unfortunately for us the ones we seem to get hold of...Theobromine which is in chocolate, Ibuprofen, Paracetamol, Bromadiolone which is the anticoagulant in things like rat poison, grapes sultanas fruit cake, Difenacourn -another rat poison, Contraceptives... Yes yours, Metaldehyde used to kill slugs and Diclofenac which is an anti inflammatory drug. On top of that there are all sorts of plants and bits and not so nice things like dead rabbits etc that can make us really really ill if not worse. Don't forget there is the PDSA site and D for Dog site that can help if you are not sure.... Oh and don't forget cigarettes. Just because your owner smokes,don't think that you have to too. You can tell I am not in a good mood today can't you... Merlin is off pawly, Freya is on maturnity leave, Flo is off because it's the wrong time of the year and yours truly is covering for everyone and I think it's too hot. Sometimes it's hard being a dog....Cool runnings Gryff

To catch a cat burglar...

As you know, with the safe arrival of my two nieces , life for me has been a bit un eventful. In fact I have been getting away with murder more or less, because by the time I get caught being a little @@@@@ it's way too late to tell me off. A bit like yesterday when I sat on the patio table with my mate Slice n dice. Mum said she could understand it if it was one of those wooden ones, but not the fancy type they have. And, she said she was surprised that a butt the size of mine actually fitted on it. Cheeky mare!!! I will have you know I have a really cute butt, infact all of me is cute, and when I grow up I will be drop dead handsome.... U ask my nan! Anyway apart from my now nightly bed cuddles, I decided that the sponge cake aunty Kath made, the liver cake my mate Bryn sent, and the crumble aunty Val brought round were just not enough bribery to make me behave when all I want really is a load of attention from her indoors when I want it, and not when she finds time. I know she loves me, I really do but I miss following her around the house and watching tv with her and all the other bits we do, just because there are a couple of screaming kids in the house. Anyway, to cut a long story shorter, I wasn't exactly truthful when I told you what Slice n dice and I were talking about sitting on the table yesterday.... Sorry!!! I asked for her help in getting her indoors full attention, and she came up trumps, so this morning I did what she said.... Now we have our own dog room that runs the length of the house, which goes onto the utility and the kitchen. The doors onto the garden and into the house are never shut unless its really cold or pouring with rain. (you know how I love water skiing and tail flicking up the walls fridges and cooker). Anyway last night it was really warm so about four am I went downstairs to lie outside where it was cooler. Now her indoors overslept a bit and came flying downstairs about half an hour later to relieve the troll. Having made sure that she was in the kitchen and could see into the utility and dog room, I put my plan into action. I went over to the wooden bench that's under the utility window and climbed up onto it, and put my head thro the window. I know she looked but I don't think it registered... Then the next thing I know Slice n dice is jumping thro the window next to me. Well you know what they say.... What a cat can do, a Berner can do better! So I gave the window a good shove, opened it up wide enough and jumped thro it, to stand on the work surface wagging my CUTE TAIL at her. Her face was an absolute picture...she just stood there looking at me, and then she started laughing. Not exactly what I had planned but a result! "And how do you think you are going to get down from there" she said. "if you want your breakfast you had better turn around and go out the way you came in, because you are not jumping from that height to the floor". Do you know she looked really small looking down on her, and I just had to let her know by giving her a really wet sticky kiss .... I love my mum so much. Doesn't matter what she does, where she goes, or what she says, I think I have the best mum in the world. I know, you all have the best mums in the world.... SO GO TELL THEM. Oh well, back to the patio table (while I can still get my butt on it). Be glad when we can all wander around the house like normal without running the risk of upsetting the FUZZBALL and progeny . Thanks for all the food parcels, and congrats and stuff. We all really appreciate it, Cool runnings Gryff

Puppy and pussy pose on patio table....

Yes you got it, I have taken counter surfing to new levels. Now I been watching the rest of the team and learning quickly what they can and cannot get away with, and up to now I have to say that I am the champion at the moment. The last couple of nights, her indoors has had the graveyard shift looking after the pups and HRH. That means that she goes to bed at midnight and gets up again at four am before going to work at six.... By that I mean us dogs all go to work at six too. Anyway the last two nights I have been incredibly lucky in that her head has touched the pillow and she is gone... So guess who got to share the pillow with her for the last two nights. Yep me. It's lovely. No snoring , a soft squishy bed and a body to cuddle up to. Nearly got caught out this morning by the troll though, so I threw him a blinder.... Trolls are a bit thick sometimes, but I really got him going this morning. You know my mate Slice n dice, well she sits on the patio table in the mornings when she waiting for breakfast or has just had breakfast so I thought I would join her. His face when he looked out the kitchen window was a picture. She sat one side of the brolly and I sat the other. Nice round table it is, one of those posh jobbies and there we sat talking to each other, talking about the weather, what was on the menu for breakfast and all that stuff. I heard him call her indoors just to tell him he wasn't seeing things. It was just so funny... Anyway better get on with some work and plan a few more little tricks to wind everybody up. The pups seem to be doing really although they do make a load of squeeking... They arrived a week ago at 750 gms and now they weigh double that. Take care all, and if anybody has a crash helmet I can borrow for Australia hat would be great. Cool runnings Gryff

Carting comedians

Now as my regular readers will remember, the tales of my predecessors are frequently told of an evening while we are chewing on the odd bone or enjoying a lie around swopping tales of the day, but today, for the first time ever I have seen a story that I will be able to tell my grand pups in days to come. The venerable Merlin has been carting since he was paw high to a wishbone , but today he lent his cart out to a beginner with hilarious consequences. We have a great uncle Clive who had a Bernese MD given to him when life was being cruel, first taking his wife and then her beautiful Leonburger from him. Well anyway he came by a very large dog he calls Echo who is now the centre of his world. If truth be told I would say there can't be much difference in what they weigh, but Echo thinks the sun shines out of his dads ears so it's not really a problem. In addition great uncle Clive has a son called Ian and they both help us out when we are planning any of our charity bashes. Now this year we are trying to raise funds with a charity walk and cart pull for the Veterans Charity (StDunstans) but our senior carting dogs are now too senior for the length of the walk, so it went out on the blogg and face book that we needed some new trainees. I applied myself but they keep telling me that I am too young. Now I know for a fact that by the beginning of June I will be taller than both Freya and Theia, and nearly as tall as Merlin so where's the problem? Anyway they say I can borrow a harness but not a cart and still walk around with them. Anyway, last week Merlin lent Echo a harness and a lump of wood to practice with, and then Great uncle Clive came and collected the traces, because Echo was doing so well. Anyway today was the big day.... The full works. Harness traces and cart all in the correct place with him providing the get up and go. Anyway between the three of them, Echo got harnessed up and went between the traces with no problems, and that's where the fun began....I was watching through the back door when I saw him do this bronco bucking jobby, closely followed by an attempted full pike with spin. Never seen two blokes move so quickly because they had hold of his leads. Think between them there were a full eight paws off the ground together, and Echo managed to jump back that far that the chest strap went over his head and he nearly escaped. It was so funny, I was laughing my head off but give Echo his due, he went for it again and the a third time. He made a very creditable performance in the end, but by then he was doing his best to break the speed limit. Merlin had also been watching and I think he felt a bit left out, so her indoors harnessed him up and gave him to uncle Ian so he could work with an experienced carting dog. The two of them set off at about twenty miles an hour. It's a good job that we all know the local pc or it would have been either a speeding or a parking ticket, but it showed uncle Ian the commands for turning corners , left and right, and also how to stop in a reasonable fashion. All in all a very entertaining morning was had by all. Anyway time to go out for a wander by the river.... Before it rains again or the pups wake up and grab every bodies attention. Got to say I am feeling a little bit left out, it's not till bed time that I get her indoors total attention, unless we are out walking of course..... But she does let me snuggle up on the bed for a treat. I thought Merlin would do it, but he usually goes to bed quite early these days so I don't need telling twice.... Mum says that as long as I ask and don't take it for granted then it's ok. Anyway I suppose I had better get on and do.... Cool runnings Gryff

It's a beautiful day ...

Well it is..... The sun is shining, my tummy is full and I have just worn myself out playing with all the plants that they left in their pots and didn't plant in the garden last weekend! In addition, big sis and her progeny have just returned from the vets with a clear bill of health, and the pups now weigh 900 gms each in just three days..... They must have arrived jumbo sized , so it's no wonder the FUZZBALL had to have a C section. I suppose since I am the one with the computer, it's down to me to say a HUGE THANKU to all involved both professionally and the friends that have been there for us the last few days. We even got food parcels delivered to the two legs... Rhubarb crumble ...AWESOME not that I got a lot, but FUZZBALL enjoyed her bit too. Thanku very much aunty Val , mum really enjoyed nearly all of it. (read sitting the bowl on her lap till it was nearly all gone there lol) I could get used to this junk food diet given half a chance. Anyway I thought slinging compost and plants every where would get me a bit of attention, but obviously not... She's just sitting there torturing me by rubbing my ears YUK YUK YUK. I am a tough handsome bolshi Berner with adolescent attitude.. Not a lap dog. I know... Time to carry on digging my way thro to Australia. By the way nobody has told me if I am going to fall out the other side and land on my head!!!!! That should get a bit more action out of them. Anybody would think they were tired or something. It's amazing really... We want to party-they don't. We want to sleep -they want to drag us out on a walk. Mind you they do have some good ideas like bbq's. Now that was cool, although in fairness it was Merlin that started the bone rolling. Anyway I can hear my hole calling to me...GRYFF GRYFF come and make me deeper and wider and muddier. Bliss. Ta tar for now, best front paws in overdrive. Cool runnings Gryff

Uncle Gryff at last....

Well I am officially an uncle now.... Tuesday was a bit harey for all concerned, especially for big sis Freya , who s now a proud and very very good mum to two beautiful little bitches. I think it's fair to say she is an absolute "lady" with all she had to go through but she definately thinks it was worthwhile. She started the pups about lunchtime, and with nothing happening , we (mum and me) decided to ring my nanny Broels and seek advice just after six and ended up at the vets.... SUPRISE!!! This is where you all start saying....we know what u mean. Anyway, we came back home and after another hour, back we went again. After yet another injection, still nothing had happened even though the vet could feel a puppy, so poor Freya had to have a Caesarian. Unfortunately she lost the first puppy but came home with two beautiful little girls. One is very like mum and is always hungrey, while nos two had to have a bit of help to start off with, but now seems to know where the milk bar is. Tomorrow morning we all go back for a check up , a weighing session, and to join the dew claw club if they are up to it. SO TO MY WONDERFUL NANNY BROELS ALL WE CAN SAY IS THANKU FOR BEING THERE FOR US..... YOU ARE AMAZING. Can't wait to see you, because you did promise to come and see me and the new arrivals and I would love to do you a special tea... I am an amazing chef when left in peace in the kitchen. Now I know why two legs get all worked up about puppy's ......we are all so special and have our own ways and you fall in love with us so easily. Mind you we love you back just as much , if not more in a lot of cases. How would you like a liver cake, or one of those bonio sponges? Or some of the Trolls famous bone casserole ..... Luuurrrrvvvvvlllllyyyyy.i might just might let you have some of my sausage stash. I so love sausages! Oh and just to let everybody know that I am being a good boy... I haven't been CAUGHT counter surfing for a week now, but I have discovered another couple of games I like. You know Merlin is half Australian, well I decided I would love to go there, and the quickest way is straight down... So I have started digging this enormous hole that is getting deeper as we speak, but I am a bit concerned that when it's finished I might fall out the other side. Now will this mean I will land on my head or will I land the right way up because of gravity? It's a tuff one so any answers will be happily read. My other game depends on the washing line and the wind. Since La FUZZBALL got home there are always half a dozen big towels and a couple of duvet covers on the line drying. Now ordinarily I wouldn't bother because they are no competition, but when the wind blows its magic. They flap around just calling to me to run and jump at them and to hang on as long as I can. Yesterday I managed a full house.... Every single one was on the lawn by the time I had finished. AWESOME GAME. Went running inside to tell her indoors and I didn't know whether she was laughing or crying. .... Think she was laughing because she said the washing machine would either pack his drum and leave home or apply for a major pay increase being on four or five times a day.. Since he was still in the kitchen this morning, and when I put my head in, he was empty I guess he got his pay increas. Makes you wonder if I should apply for one too.... What do you reckon. I am after all the best guard dog (read noisy for that) now, Merlin having told me he will back me up if he considers it necessary but under no circumstances am I to wake him or the pups up unless the house is on fire or somebody has found his bone stash. Anyway I suppose I had better drag myself out for one of those walk things.... Don't know why you think we like them. All that exercise and sniffing. The things you expect us to do....Cool runnings Gryff