She left me....

She did, she left me at home with the troll....anything could have happened to me and she wouldn't have known until she came home. She said it was a girly day and that Freya and pups and Theia could all go but I couldn't. Take your pick, its either sexist or dogist. The troll could have eaten me, or lost me in the river or anything and all she did was laugh at me. Then when she did come back, Theia was missing..... Gone to spend the weekend with Uncle Dick and Sarah. What kind of female is she e mailing pictures of herself draped all over black silk sheets? All she was doing was rubbing it in because she was on holiday.I know us dogs like our comfort but that's a bit naughty....and she got takeaway two nights and went to a boot sale.... All I know s she didt bring any boots back with her!! The only thing that makes me feel a bit better is we had another BBQ. Pork chops chicken kebabs sausages and steak , it was the best slump I have ever tasted. (SLUMP.. Technical term for home cooked meals like bone casserole or liver cake) and she missed it. Got similar tonight, so I suppose we will have to share that with her. Been continuing my digging career, although I think I will have to give it a rest soon. The ground is getting so hard and dry, so I think I must be getting close to Australia soon. Then when I tried drinking out the garden fountain the troll went bonkers and said I would get an upset stomach. He obviously doesn't know that it tastes nicer than the stuff out the tap. Talking of being I'll... Do you know the top things that are poisoness to us? Well here are the worst ones and unfortunately for us the ones we seem to get hold of...Theobromine which is in chocolate, Ibuprofen, Paracetamol, Bromadiolone which is the anticoagulant in things like rat poison, grapes sultanas fruit cake, Difenacourn -another rat poison, Contraceptives... Yes yours, Metaldehyde used to kill slugs and Diclofenac which is an anti inflammatory drug. On top of that there are all sorts of plants and bits and not so nice things like dead rabbits etc that can make us really really ill if not worse. Don't forget there is the PDSA site and D for Dog site that can help if you are not sure.... Oh and don't forget cigarettes. Just because your owner smokes,don't think that you have to too. You can tell I am not in a good mood today can't you... Merlin is off pawly, Freya is on maturnity leave, Flo is off because it's the wrong time of the year and yours truly is covering for everyone and I think it's too hot. Sometimes it's hard being a dog....Cool runnings Gryff