Friday, 22 June 2012

Party mania

Well it's THE weekend at last. Sunday come rain hail or shine its party time. I have planned a SUPRISE party for Merlins retirement and the christening of my two Berner nieces, Lacey and Asti. ( for that read popping their noisy little heads under the water feature with all my k9 mates watching) , except of course they already do it for themselves when they are thirsty. There should be twelve Berners two gsd and three cats, although or some reason the cats have not rsvp'd... I wonder why lol???? Then of course there will be their chauffeur's and the odd extraneous two legs , o and of course The Troll. Hit the butchers today, and collected all the meat ( mega yummmmmmmm) then tomorrow it's the salad dips puddings and the largest pots of cream I can find. Got to be a bit careful and send the troll aswell as she who must be obeyed because my writing can be a bit difficult to read and her indoors needs new glasses anyway. I tried the table out again last night with my mate Fatcat. My butt still fits nicely on one side of the brolly, so it's all stations GO. Just hope the weather is kinder than today. Took both the carts home, so that makes three in the garage and all the harnesses so was thinking of a bit of canine drag racing up our street, or we can go over our back and do off road racing along the river... Depends on the weather really. Can't wait till they let me take my test....still too young at eight months or so they keep telling me. Even got two cakes ordered shaped like bonios for the two legs...one chocolate and one vanilla sponge, while me and my mates have got sausages beef burgers and kebabs. Guess who I think has the best menu.... U got it!!! All that gorgeous meat. Oh and the bar opens at 10am Sunday morning till when ever it shuts... Can't wait. My beloved nanny and grandad Broels are coming too , and although she says she wants to cuddle the pups. I know she will be amazed at how big I am and how clever I can be...and I will get first cuddle. Roll on Sunday.... Cool runnings Gryff

Tuesday, 12 June 2012

We did it..... Well most of us!!

It was our sponsored cart pull and Berner walk this last Saturday as part of the carnival...( We cheat a little bit because their inscurance covers us and means we don't have to pay for a separate one). And we did it, all of us except her indoors that is. It was a really good day, not too hot and with a wind but with sunny periods too. We were all mixed in with pipe bands (the Scottish variety) dancers fire engines classic vehicles and this AWESOME ST BERNARD WHO WAS RIDING IN A SIDE CAR WEARING GOGGLES AND A CRASH HELMET. Honest, as I have four paws and all of them on my secret stash of sausages its true. He was ( or she was) amazing. Got to say that I still stole the show though... Had to be done it did. If only to embarrass Uncle Dick who I took with me....I got caught short and did the most enormous DUMP in the middle of the road.....He went this lovely shade of bright red and me and aunty Jackie were killing ourselves laughing, although she did help him clear it all up. Then when we had walked the distance, we went back to the party in the park to raise more funds for our charity.... Blind Veterans , which used to be St Dunstans. That was when her indoors decided that she would join us....lazy two legs. Her indoors had been wandering around all the previous week a lovely shade of green, having been clever enough to catch the current upset stomach bug that was going around all the schools. I told her , if she couldn't do the blogg for me as my secretary then she couldn't come round with us! Silly mare took it to heart, and the Troll had to come round instead. Have you ever noticed that the few times the female of the species does as it's told , it is ALWAYS ALWAYS when you didn't really mean what you barked.? I mean we could ave stuffed her in one of the carts with her legs hanging out the back and nobody would have minded.... Except perhaps the dog pulling the following cart. As it was she came and joined us when the party started and spent all her time answering people's questions on Bernese, all dog behaviour problems (yes she did a course although she says people need to speak dog, instead of expecting dogs to speak human or even mind read) and putting one poor man straight because a certain rescue centre had told him they will not home a Bernese with children because they are unpredictable in their presence.... I assume that meant the children because us Berners just love kids and cats and anything we can cuddle. Her face was a picture... She suggested that he and his wife and kids look around them, because they were totally surrounded by screaming laughing kids hugging and kissing Bernese they had never met before. Fair to say they went away with a different mind set. We spent all afternoon there and these two guys belonging to Cambs Search and Rescue came and fussed us all up. I was just in time to stop one of them putting one f us in his pocket to train for searching.... In your dreams mate... Although we did say we would join them on their next demo, SO GUYS YOU HAVE OUR NUMBER! Anyway I think that covers all the scandal and goss for the last few days, now we have the christening puppy BBQ to look forward to....nanny and grandad Broels are coming, bet they don't recognise me, I am so big now and really really handsome. Perhaps that bloke as a point.... Being in uniform is always a bit of a totty magnet, and search and rescue could be anywhere.... Perhaps it is a career to consider after all.... Anyway would just like to say a huge thanku to all my doggy mates who turned up, especially the honorary Berners who came aswell.... Thanks muchly. Cool runnings Gryff

Sunday, 3 June 2012

She means it.... We even went in the church

She does she means it.... We really are going to christen the puppy's , we all went in church this after noon to see what it is like. There was Flo Dexter Bryn Echo Merlin and me, and we all went in. It was pouring with rain but they even let two carts in aswell. There were loads of children about and they sang God Save the Queen and lots of old songs from the 1940's. (well that's when the two legs said they were from). Never thought I would say I had been to church but they were all quite nice. It had a lovely CLEAN VACUMED carpet when we went in, and now it's covered in red white and blue tinsel and paw prints. That was after she took Merlin and me to this major pet shop so I guess that was to sort out the catering for their christening party. She bought loads of bits including two new miniature bowls....well they must be because I doubt I could even get my nose in them, a couple of collars that won't do up around my paw and some bags of food. Told her we want chicken and SAUSAGES and beef burgers and more SAUSAGES and all things meaty. If there's going to be a party I need to make sure that all my guests (4 footed ones that is ) are fed properly. She can look after the two legged ones because they can be hard to please at times. Anyway need to go and have a good shake all over everything white in the kitchen before I get too dry..... Enjoy the break everyone, Cool runnings Gryff

Thursday, 31 May 2012

Nutty as a fruit cake....

Sometimes they make me laugh...sometimes I could cry, and the rest of the time I think that my two legs are a bone short of a load. How on earth do you wet a puppy's head? I remember when I arrived new to home, there was a party which may or may not have been held in my honour (think I was asleep for most of it) but now they are both on about wetting the puppy's head???? Ddddduuuurrrrhhhh!! Now in the garden there is a fountain thing that belongs to me because I am the one that drinks out of it, and as we all know possession is nine points of canine law. Well anyway if they think they are floating puppy's in my drinking water they can just think again. AND! AND they have invited a load of other Berners to watch.... Echo Bryn FLO and sexy Dexy add infinitum. It's just crazy if you ask me. Even my wonderful Nanny Broels might be coming. I think they are totally nuts. Then there are the fridge fairies that her indoors keeps on about. She says that there are multi packs of Chocolate going missing out the fridge every day, and since we and her are not in all day where are they going. She did point out to the troll, that being allergic to sugar he should be having little or nothing to do with them, but even so they keep appearing when he does the shopping and disappearing as if by magic..... So therefor we must have fridge fairies. I can only say thanku to the canine powers that be that I am brilliant at counter surfing and being a cat burglar, but as yet I can't get in the fridge (YET !) . Anyway I can feel the call of the wild.... Supper time, so let's go and see what's about. There's a rumour going around that there is some liver just arrived and I need to make sure I get there before the fridge fairies. Cool runnings Gryff

Monday, 28 May 2012

She left me....

She did, she left me at home with the troll....anything could have happened to me and she wouldn't have known until she came home. She said it was a girly day and that Freya and pups and Theia could all go but I couldn't. Take your pick, its either sexist or dogist. The troll could have eaten me, or lost me in the river or anything and all she did was laugh at me. Then when she did come back, Theia was missing..... Gone to spend the weekend with Uncle Dick and Sarah. What kind of female is she e mailing pictures of herself draped all over black silk sheets? All she was doing was rubbing it in because she was on holiday.I know us dogs like our comfort but that's a bit naughty....and she got takeaway two nights and went to a boot sale.... All I know s she didt bring any boots back with her!! The only thing that makes me feel a bit better is we had another BBQ. Pork chops chicken kebabs sausages and steak , it was the best slump I have ever tasted. (SLUMP.. Technical term for home cooked meals like bone casserole or liver cake) and she missed it. Got similar tonight, so I suppose we will have to share that with her. Been continuing my digging career, although I think I will have to give it a rest soon. The ground is getting so hard and dry, so I think I must be getting close to Australia soon. Then when I tried drinking out the garden fountain the troll went bonkers and said I would get an upset stomach. He obviously doesn't know that it tastes nicer than the stuff out the tap. Talking of being I'll... Do you know the top things that are poisoness to us? Well here are the worst ones and unfortunately for us the ones we seem to get hold of...Theobromine which is in chocolate, Ibuprofen, Paracetamol, Bromadiolone which is the anticoagulant in things like rat poison, grapes sultanas fruit cake, Difenacourn -another rat poison, Contraceptives... Yes yours, Metaldehyde used to kill slugs and Diclofenac which is an anti inflammatory drug. On top of that there are all sorts of plants and bits and not so nice things like dead rabbits etc that can make us really really ill if not worse. Don't forget there is the PDSA site and D for Dog site that can help if you are not sure.... Oh and don't forget cigarettes. Just because your owner smokes,don't think that you have to too. You can tell I am not in a good mood today can't you... Merlin is off pawly, Freya is on maturnity leave, Flo is off because it's the wrong time of the year and yours truly is covering for everyone and I think it's too hot. Sometimes it's hard being a dog....Cool runnings Gryff

Wednesday, 23 May 2012

To catch a cat burglar...

As you know, with the safe arrival of my two nieces , life for me has been a bit un eventful. In fact I have been getting away with murder more or less, because by the time I get caught being a little @@@@@ it's way too late to tell me off. A bit like yesterday when I sat on the patio table with my mate Slice n dice. Mum said she could understand it if it was one of those wooden ones, but not the fancy type they have. And, she said she was surprised that a butt the size of mine actually fitted on it. Cheeky mare!!! I will have you know I have a really cute butt, infact all of me is cute, and when I grow up I will be drop dead handsome.... U ask my nan! Anyway apart from my now nightly bed cuddles, I decided that the sponge cake aunty Kath made, the liver cake my mate Bryn sent, and the crumble aunty Val brought round were just not enough bribery to make me behave when all I want really is a load of attention from her indoors when I want it, and not when she finds time. I know she loves me, I really do but I miss following her around the house and watching tv with her and all the other bits we do, just because there are a couple of screaming kids in the house. Anyway, to cut a long story shorter, I wasn't exactly truthful when I told you what Slice n dice and I were talking about sitting on the table yesterday.... Sorry!!! I asked for her help in getting her indoors full attention, and she came up trumps, so this morning I did what she said.... Now we have our own dog room that runs the length of the house, which goes onto the utility and the kitchen. The doors onto the garden and into the house are never shut unless its really cold or pouring with rain. (you know how I love water skiing and tail flicking up the walls fridges and cooker). Anyway last night it was really warm so about four am I went downstairs to lie outside where it was cooler. Now her indoors overslept a bit and came flying downstairs about half an hour later to relieve the troll. Having made sure that she was in the kitchen and could see into the utility and dog room, I put my plan into action. I went over to the wooden bench that's under the utility window and climbed up onto it, and put my head thro the window. I know she looked but I don't think it registered... Then the next thing I know Slice n dice is jumping thro the window next to me. Well you know what they say.... What a cat can do, a Berner can do better! So I gave the window a good shove, opened it up wide enough and jumped thro it, to stand on the work surface wagging my CUTE TAIL at her. Her face was an absolute picture...she just stood there looking at me, and then she started laughing. Not exactly what I had planned but a result! "And how do you think you are going to get down from there" she said. "if you want your breakfast you had better turn around and go out the way you came in, because you are not jumping from that height to the floor". Do you know she looked really small looking down on her, and I just had to let her know by giving her a really wet sticky kiss .... I love my mum so much. Doesn't matter what she does, where she goes, or what she says, I think I have the best mum in the world. I know, you all have the best mums in the world.... SO GO TELL THEM. Oh well, back to the patio table (while I can still get my butt on it). Be glad when we can all wander around the house like normal without running the risk of upsetting the FUZZBALL and progeny . Thanks for all the food parcels, and congrats and stuff. We all really appreciate it, Cool runnings Gryff

Tuesday, 22 May 2012

Puppy and pussy pose on patio table....

Yes you got it, I have taken counter surfing to new levels. Now I been watching the rest of the team and learning quickly what they can and cannot get away with, and up to now I have to say that I am the champion at the moment. The last couple of nights, her indoors has had the graveyard shift looking after the pups and HRH. That means that she goes to bed at midnight and gets up again at four am before going to work at six.... By that I mean us dogs all go to work at six too. Anyway the last two nights I have been incredibly lucky in that her head has touched the pillow and she is gone... So guess who got to share the pillow with her for the last two nights. Yep me. It's lovely. No snoring , a soft squishy bed and a body to cuddle up to. Nearly got caught out this morning by the troll though, so I threw him a blinder.... Trolls are a bit thick sometimes, but I really got him going this morning. You know my mate Slice n dice, well she sits on the patio table in the mornings when she waiting for breakfast or has just had breakfast so I thought I would join her. His face when he looked out the kitchen window was a picture. She sat one side of the brolly and I sat the other. Nice round table it is, one of those posh jobbies and there we sat talking to each other, talking about the weather, what was on the menu for breakfast and all that stuff. I heard him call her indoors just to tell him he wasn't seeing things. It was just so funny... Anyway better get on with some work and plan a few more little tricks to wind everybody up. The pups seem to be doing really although they do make a load of squeeking... They arrived a week ago at 750 gms and now they weigh double that. Take care all, and if anybody has a crash helmet I can borrow for Australia hat would be great. Cool runnings Gryff