Anybody need a Berner ?

Anybody give a home to a Berner in trouble out there.... 01269843084 Many Tears .co.uk.... About six months old and in a bit of a state. The rescue home has called him BOB.... Mum says she would but the troll says there's not enough room on his bed for any more.... On a more humerous note, what is it about fox poo that you two legs don't like? Big sis Freya went for a walk with the troll this afternoon and did she plaster it on all over or what. Mum says she will have to go in the washing machine with loads of soap powder on a 40degree wash, and we say she smells great. All her White bits are the most interesting shade of brown grey colour. The whole house smells of it, well at least our part does. No heating on tonight then. Do you think she means it.... I don't think that Freya will fit through the washing machine door, or is she planning to take her to a laundrette do you think? Just think all you show dogs could be washed and tumble dried every time you went to a show....cool! Think of the money and time it would save! Miss Flo is back at work now, she was on sick leave with kennel cough if you remember... Well she is up to her old tricks. I swear she does it to wind her mum Aunty Jackie up. She waits till you fill our great big water bowl up , and then when no one is looking she gives it a thump and turns it upside down... Not once but twice this morning. I hate water but at this rate I am going to have to learn to swim. The two legs were not amused.. Surprise surprise! We have a special treat for tea tonight. Shepherds pie...awesome. Looking at it a minute ago I was wondering just how many shepherds are in it? I mean there are no arms or legs hanging out of the dish, but then mum doesnt tell porkies so I guess they must be chopped up small. Can't wait, ovens on and I am going to sit by it and watch the clock thing till it's ready. I know I pinched Theias tea but she shouldn't have left it lying around, I'll give her one of my shepherd to make up for it... Don't forget to have a look at that Many Tears, he is only a baby like me... Cool runnings Gryff

Guess who had a party today

Guess who had a party today.... Yes Miss Freya, it was her birthday yesterday and she was two, but all us Berners and owners got together this afternoon for a party. Flo came in this morning with aunty Jackie, and then this afternoon Bryn came with his mum and dad, uncle Rob turned up and then aunty Susanne who has Bailey and Baxter. What a time was had by all. Treats cakes and loads of games. Now we all have invites for Roade twice in May, the carnival in June at March, a re enactment in July but I forget where that is and in August a bash at Coldham and at the end of the month Roade again. Not bad for a load of baskervilles. Mum says our social calendar is much busier than hers. Come home and there are packets of Paddywack every where. I could really get used to this standard of life. Got to eat my tea and then we can have a piece each for afters. Work has been a bit busy today, so tomorrow I am hoping to go out on deliveries with Aunty Jackie and Charlotte. Just love riding around in my seat belt. Don't miss a thing believe me!. Ghostie seems a bit better at the moment, still very quiet but that's him. Oh this will make you laugh, you know how tough gsd's are supposed to be, well my mate Bryn managed to scare one today.....cool! Can you smell that????? That's Paddywack or I am a Jack Russell.... Sorry guys got to go....love you all to bitsnand talk soon. Cool runnings Gryff

Cat burglars

Anybody seen my picture on paw book, the one where I have taken over the cats basket tower thing? Well that's because some feline had the temerity to break into my flat the other night and pinch all my stash of food. How dare they... Anybody would think it's a takeaway or a fast food joint. Well I decided what was good for them is even better for me. Eat your hearts out Fatcat or Misscat. See if I care what happens to you next time it rains.... And I took half the blame for the duvet cover last week. Oh and a bit of gossip for you.... Theia split up with her boyfriend yesterday. About time if you ask me... It was all getting too serious too quickly, all the kissing and stuff. Yuck! Would hate to have our mum as a mother in law..... Oh @@@@@ , it doesn't bear thinking about. The mother in law from Hell would be more like it. Wonder if she would be as bad when I get a girlfriend. She keeps saying I am rushing things but my paws are getting huge now, and my teeth have started dropping out so I guess that makes me a teenager... No smoke without fire is what I say. Oh and today is Freyas second birthday... We clubbed together and got a new collar and some chewy things and dad got us ham for a special tea to celebrate. Tuna and biscuits for breakfast, sausages and biscuits for lunch and now ham meat and biscuits for tea.... Wonder what's for supper? No my stomach doesn't rule my head, well only when it's empty. Had a busy day at work, and I am pleased to say that Miss Flo has returned from sick leave at long last. She had kennel cough that she picked up at Birmingham show but she is ok now. Had quite a game with her over a chewy bone... Shows she is fit again. And I gave her the recipe for bone casserole... She and Dexter will love that. Anyway enough chit chat for now, I can smell that ham. Will say ttfn take care and talk soon. Cool runnings Gryff

New totty on the block

Guess what guys... Jungle bones are saying there is a new bit of totty on the block. Born Christmas eve last year, White cream fur (don't you just love blondes) one eye blue one brown and a husky to boot. They say her name is Cleo, which is short for Cleopatra... And you know how beautiful she was supposed to be! That darn cat is winding me up aswell. You know we redesigned the bed cover the other day... Well she thinks now that she can use my bedroom window as her front door all through the night, going out to parties and coming in at three am making as much noise as she wants. And she jumped on the new clean bed, but at least my feet are bigger than hers and I won't get the blame this time. Then this morning Brutus the buzzard was about, he doesn't look quite so dangerous now, but he still has those huge nails on his toes. He just sits there on the top of a telegraph pole looking at you. Never seems to move or blink and it still physc's me out. Had to lend big sis Theia my seat belt today... She's gone off with her two legged boyfriend joy riding round the county. Hope she's having a good time, cause I just love being in the car. Means you are going where ever they are. Cool! Bet she's stretched it and I have to alter back to fit me. And I bet they go to MacDonalds for lunch.... Oh remind me to tell her indoors I need a new collar, this one is getting a bit tight and it won't let out anymore. Fancy something a bit loud but I bet she says it has to be school uniform blue or black. Where's the fun in that? Merlins cart harnesses are both black but his new one has a red edging... Really smart to match the Ferarri. Then there is Roade to consider... Need something dressy for that. I saw the picture of Mr Barnaby on the web page the other day... Red Rose, red bow tie and he looked a proper dude. Well suppose I had better put some effort into work. Got to pay for that new collar somehow . Take care all, keep your eyes open for that blond guys. Cool runnings Gryff

Guess what I discovered this morning

Ok guys, I found puppy heaven this morning. Up as normal at five am, nice hot breakfast after a game in the garden with Theia and then back to bed for a quick kip. Now normally I would be reclining gracefully in my flat, but today I managed to sneak past the security guards and head off upstairs on my own. I know, soft bones and all that, but it just had to be done. Don't give a dog a challenge if you don't want him to do it!!! Anyway , me and Slice n dice slipped off upstairs un noticed, and there was this lovely huge cream coloured double bed. Now I know that when Slice n dice wants to get on it she takes a running jump from just by the door, so if it's good enough for her , I can do it too. Bit of speed, flap of the ears and we have lift off...... AWESOME. Nobody told me you bounce up and down for a few seconds after you land but who cares. Anyway had a bit of a ruckle around , parked my delicate little butt at the top and chilled down. Feels a bit odd when your bum is higher than your head but I can cope. Then Slice n dice decides she might aswell join in. Flying leap from the door, landed on the bed and then blow me if she didn't bounce right off and land nose first into the window. You know those cartoons where you see them hit the window and then slide down it.... Well I swear that's what she did. Anyway problem was the noise made her indoors come flying upstairs to see what was going on. How was I supposed to know you didn't put your butt on the pillows, and I liked the paw pattern we had decorated it with. Really personalised the cover.... Would have signed it if she had asked me to. Could have been worth a load of bones as modern art or something. No eye for talent some people. Anyway I like it so I am going to try again another day ON MY OWN so I don't get caught and have a proper snooze. Anyway you remember I was saying about Roade in May, well just been across to BowWows in March (07773168312) (£35-£40)and booked in with Merlin and the girls to have our fur washed and dried. They all had theirs done before I arrived so they looked their best for the sponsored walk and cart pull. Anyway I want to look good cause Merlin says there is mega totty there. Better than any mixed dog get together cause they will all be my type. They do your ears your nails and all your special bits and pieces, and he says if you ask politely they will trim your feet for you. You know how funny women are about men's feet!!! Lady didn't recognise me because I have grown so much. Tell you one thing, she won't lift me up as easily as she did last time come May. I will be 6 months old and well on the way to four or five stone, bless her. The girls can even have a proper pedicure thing and then have their nails painted.... Why can I see Freya in bright pink ??? Better still I could decorate the bed cover and she could put some pink bits on it to finish it off. Bet her indoors would really like that. AWESOME. Oh guess who I saw this morning. Hat pulled over his eyes, dark glasses, turned up collar on his coat, you got it... I swear it was the Grizzly Troll. Do Trolls live forever like vampires? because I would have put bones on it that he was at the bottom of the garden. On a plus, that means we can have those parties we were planning for the summer now .SAUSAGES nanny Broels, sausages! Or maybe beef burgers. They say that Uncle Finnigan loved them, and would win any BBQ eating competition. Got some pictures of him and his lady Miss Gracie on the wall. Looks a bit like something from Gone with the Bones, or Paw Story. All mushy and soppy and kissy. Yuck! Anyway , best I be off now and get things sorted.nothing like creating havoc and somebody else carrying the can for it.LOL. Stay well everybody. Cool runnings. Gryff

Busted !

Called round to see you Alex my mate. Where were you, missed you again on Saturday, not cool.... And into the bargain I got busted for counter surfing. For weeks now I have been really careful not to get up on my back legs so them indoors wouldn't realise how big I was getting. It was easy really cause her indoors has this thing about soft growing baby bones being damaged. Nobody is allowed to jump up, or push my bum down for a sit and stuff like that cause she reckons it can damage my skeleton , what ever that is! Any way for the past two weeks I have managed to counter surf unsuspected. It's been quite profitable, odd bit of cat biscuits, some corned beef and on Saturday my all time favourite.... Three chocolate biscuits nicked from Aunty Sarahs packet on the table at work. Then just as I got down, SHE saw me, BUSTED! It's like Stalag K9 now...... Somebody is always watching me. It's not my fault that the others got the blame. In my opinion Princess Freya is a bit on the broad side... A minute on the lips a lifetime on her hips. I keep telling her but she won't listen. She says it's all the running around and she's muscled up. Yeh Yeh Yeh. All she worries about is her figure her lippy etc. Technically Freya is dads dog. When great uncle Teague died of cancer a couple of years ago, dad was gutted. He kept wandering around all upset and miserable till she indoors couldn't take any more. She spent three weeks looking for a pup, and could only come up with two girls... No fella's. She thought that perhaps that was a good thing, cause of the state he was in. Anyway on the Saturday morning after changing his mind ninety nine million times they set off up the motorway to go and see this puppy. Three hours into the drive he changes his mind again. Not going any further....give mum her due she didn't loose it but went and shut herself in the loo and made a phone call. She told the breeder how he was, and said when we arrive, ignore me and as soon as he sits down, plonk the pup in his lap. BINGO. First kiss and he was in love. I agree, in this case a girl was a good idea... No comparisons to the iconic Teagles. Dad has his name as his number plate and his collar and bandana close to paw. Freya on the other paw, can twist him into little fluffy knots. She keeps sitting up and giving him a high five or even a ten, or she will jump up and give him a real girly kiss. He thinks we don't know, but she gets extra walks and lots of what we call Daddy Days. We know that they are watching tv together in the afternoons, and eating biscuits with their cuppa. The good bit is that Ghostie gets a bit of tlc aswell. Ghostie came from the wrong side of town, so he is a bit of a scaredy cat and doesn't know what's wrong or right all the time.... So he shares in the daddy days to keep him chilled. Oh and another thing, all Miss Freyas stuff is pink. To help dad remember he had a little girl, all her bowls, leads and brushes were bought in pink. She even had a pink bag and mum put lipsticks and nail polishes in there, as well as painting her nails bright bright pink. Made dad laugh through the tears. Changing the subject.... Somebody asked if we were going to the carting at Roade, Northampton this year. The family have gone for the last couple of years but this will be my first time. Aunty Jackie is putting some photos on of me in the Ferarri in the snow. I look AWESOME! And so does Merlin. Can't wait till I can cart too. Last time, they all stopped in aunty jackies caravan and had a bt of a party..... Then about 2am somebody was shouting for their dog Harvey. Excellent, can't wait. Think Miss Flo might have a go at carting too. It's good fun so they tell me, and last year seven dogs with a couple of carts raised nearly £3000 for charity. Mum wants to have a go at agility... She saw that and the dancing at Stoneleigh last year. She can think again if she wants Merlin and me to have a go. Don't mind the thought of agility but dancing...NO WAY !!!Anyway, it's time I sorted out work. Lots of things need doing and sorting out. Goes to rack and ruin if I am not there. You get those three nut cases working together and anything can happen, and I mean ANYTHING!.Needs a firm paw from me I can tell you. Don't forget if there is anything you want to share.... HEALTH TIPS! GOOD GROOMERS! FUN RECIPES! ANYTHING THEN SEND IT IN . Take care all. Talk soon. Cool runnings Gryff

If you have read yesterday's blogg, you will be aware that Merlin Freya Theia and I each have had a paw in the excavation of a rather glorious hole at the bottom of the garden. Under guidance from Theia,who desperately wants a career in landscaping and design, or failing that demolition work, we rather fancied making it into a fish pond or one of those mud bath things that you girls do to keep your fur at it's best BUT somebody has filled it in. The question is why? Wrong location, wrong shape or depth? OR IS THERE SOMETHING BURIED IN IT? Anyway after a hurried discussion over breakfast, we decided as a group it might be politic to let sleeping Trolls lie, and start another excavation somewhere else. Now as I say Theia really really wants a career in landscaping, irrespective of where.... Beaches, sand dunes, woods, river banks ( she really gets miffed at mole hills and jumps on them out of spite) anywhere anytime she is your girl. So after giving the matter due consideration she marked out a spot dead centre of the lawn. Equi- distant to boundaries, bound to catch the sun, even the fluff balls can go around it, so X marks the spot. Big hole, big big hole, HUGE HOLE. Excellent! A work of art, carefully signed by all involved. Good job it's thawed around here or we could have been in trouble! Question is now....what do we do with it? Any polite suggestions? Obviously now the garden is designated an area of Troll interest with a ceremonial burial plot the wild parties we had planned might be considered in bad taste. Should think summer BBQ 's will still be ok though... Sausages!!! Yes I know nanny Broels, I really am being a good boy. Got my addiction under control now, but at the cost of Tuna and mums bone casserole which is wonderful. Anyway, do you think we should write to English Heritage or somebody like that... We could charge for entry and send the money to one of the rescue centres? That would please her indoors and there would be less chance of anybody finding him! Where she buried the bits of chickens after the fox got in is now under the patio , so they can rest in peace so to speak. Well any ideas will be looked at with interest. O and while I think about it there is a health warning....PARVO VIRUS IN AND AROUND THE LEICESTER AREA! SO BE CAREFUL DUDES! When you look at us Berners, we are a really unusual group...Merlin,50kg and a racing driver stroke bodyguard/bouncer, Freya, frequently called HRH La diva, all pink , yes everything, bowls leads collars handbags nail polish lippy tiara and pinkish bags on her treats, Theia,a perfect Tom boy, digging, chasing, all in wrestling, and me, Mr Perfect.(yeh yeh yeh heard it all before)Some English some aussi and some French. What a mix.... It's brill. Oh and I spent this morning getting to know my litter bros Saxon again. AWESOME. Sent three hours nearly chasing around, peeing on beds and then we had a synchronised poop.... Right in the middle of his mums kitchen floor. Glad he started it, cause her indoors would have not been impressed otherwise. As it was she did seem a little put out but hey excitement got the better of us. Anyway have another invite so can't have been all bad. Anyway time I slipped off, can smell something interesting in the kitchen.....play eat rest, play eat rest, canine heaven. Just before I go, could you spare a thought for Dougal who has just left his forever family, for rainbow bridge and his family.... Our thoughts are with you. Will say ttfn, cool runnings Gryff

O M G

Well how did your Valentines day go? Meal out, chocs, a dozen red roses? Hope you got the lot! Mine I have to say was a bit stressful.... And the Grizzly Trolls was extremely shitty! She who must be obeyed got us all out of bed at three am, yes three in the morning to get all the orders out. The grizzly troll gave her an unusual present, and since he has been missing assumed dead for the last twenty four hours, we can only assume she didn't like it! She who must be obeyed drives Merlins Mitzi 4wd which again is bright red. Proves how rich he is cause it's got all the whistles and buttons that a k9 could need. Tinted windows, air con, sunshine tip and tilt roof add infinitum. He didn't miss a thing when he ordered it.... Clever boy. Anyway unfortunately for the SECOND time the Grizzly Troll has reversed it into something and put a thumping great heart shaped dent in it, together with taking out two clusters of lights and denting the boot. what he did before was instead of putting the car in reverse and engaging the reversing sensors he just let it roll back and hit a post. He took it to the garage and got it sorted BUT the garage rang she who must be obeyed to say the work was done. In addition since the vehicle was under warranty they could find no problem with the sensors as they had just checked them. Now she being of sound mind said why should there be a problem when A) she had not been driving at the time and B) who had told them the sensor was not working?..... You got it THE GRIZZLY TROLL. Now this time he hit something much larger than a post but won't say what, but odds on he did the same again, and she went straight into orbit when she saw it.... It is so quiet at home cause she isn't speaking to him and we have a theory that since the huge hole we all dug at the bottom of the garden is now filled in that is probably where we would find him if we looked. OOPS! In his defence ....... It's no good, can't think of a thing to say... If it had been his car the world would have probably stopped turning by now. Anyway on a brighter note Theia was brave enough to send a single red Rose, which was accepted so she is a very happy bunny, and Merlin saw fit to send some to a lady he knows.( told you he is loaded). All I want now is to catch up on my sleep. met our new friend Bryn today... Nice guy. Bit rustic but since he is a farm boy what can you expect. Bless him they tried to drown him in the bath he was telling me in between nicking my chewy sticks. I know the feeling , I have had at least four baths and all with shampoo! Yuck! He was well happy when he went home, and I think he will make a perfect gentleman given the odd lesson in manners..... Like returning my chewy stick! And then tomorrow I am having brunch with my brother Saxon. That crazy dog has now eaten and passed three socks. I blame the people leaving them lying around.... Well who else can you blame? Ghostie is still not a hundred percent still. Nearly at the end of his pills too so I am going to make sure I am out somewhere if he has to go back to the vets. My street cred is pretty good at the moment, and I want to keep it that way. Anyway time for a bit of shut eye, tea was excellent..Kebab and biscuits. One thing I will say for her indoors, she see's no reason why we shouldn't eat well and varied. Variety is the spice of life, and thank goodness she doesn't mean just cans. Will say ttfn, have a good day. Cool runnings Gryff

Fatty go lightly

Well as you have probably gathered I am pleased to announce that I now weigh more than I think Brutus the buzzard can fly off with. I no longer worry that I am his lunch on the hoof and it gave me great pleasure to stand and bark at him yesterday while out snow ploughing. Sadly having been out this morning before work ( yes Sundays aswell) I think that I have probably seen the last of my game for a while. Him indoors is also beginning to annoy again... Keeps calling me names like porky pooch, B russell pate as well as b Russell sprout, and probably my least favourite frog dog. A not so subtle dig at my ancestry ... Calls Merlin an Auzzie too. Now if he wants to do it properly it should be Le Grenouille or even if he thinks I am getting FAT Le Grenouille grand..... But then he is only a country bumpkin so what can you expect? Do you think he thinks we don't understand? That we don't know when someone is being impolite? Well he is wrong.... I think we do a better job of speaking Human than most people do of speaking canine. At least we try and work out what you want from us, and let's face it that's not always very easy to do. When you talk to each other you frequently say things with double meanings or the tone of your voice is opposite to the words you use. My personal favourite is YES DEAR! It can be so sarcastic you could cut yourself on it or so sickly you want to be ill, or just occaisionally you actually mean it. it's like you smile at us and show us your rows of expensive pearly whites, and to us a double set of teeth means something entirely different... I rest my case! Anyway now I have had a little moan as befitting my station in life, I want to share a useful bit of information with you... You know I said about her indoors cooking bones for us in the slow cooker and it's wonderful. Well did you know that butchers now have to pay to have all those lucious bones taken away.... It actually costs them money.. What is the world coming to? So my advice to all you canines is have a gentle word with them indoors and get them to the nearest proper butchers ASAP. The bones that are huge can go down the garden for a snack and the rest in the pot. Add a few veg , a bit of bran perhaps, and let it stew till all the bits of meat fall off , remove the bald bones and then let it cool till all the fat comes to the top. If you take the fat off solid, that can go on the bird table out of our way. The jelly that's left is wonderful on your dinner, or melted and poured over your biscuits as soup. Healthy diet, clean teeth ( saving money at the vets) and helping the economy into the bargain . NICE ONE! Have to be honest and say them indoors do buy the odd tin of biscuits or chocolates for the butchers as a thanku, but generally speaking we just get more bones next time around. Not a bad tip for a youngster . Just before I go, I would like to say a beg HELLO to a new arrival on the block.... Brynmore Enchanted Odin... To his mates Bryn. He is as we speak travelling up from Welsh Wales to his forever home with Aunty Kath and Uncle Mike. Though you have some huge paw prints on hearts to fill I know Miss Trinity would be pleased by your arrival. No canine likes to see someone they love so sad because they couldnt stay any longer. Go for it mate, and if there's any problems with accents or translations, just give us a bark and I will ask her indoors...... Her family come from a long line of Welsh dragons. Love to hear from anybody with other recipes for us pooches. Take care for now all.. Cool runnings Gryff

Sexy seatbelts

Hi everyone, and especially my friend Alex..... U keep popping up mate, so take care. How are u all doing in the new snow? Excellent isn't it. Hopefully we have a couple more days of it, so I can continue practising to be a snow plough even if the local council won't pay me. From what I have seen , their snow ploughs are scared to go out on their own, saw three together last night. Wimps! Anyway, who among you wear seat belts when you are travelling? I know lots of us have the boot to ourselves with a guard across or even a crate for safety, but today I was really glad I was wearing a canine seatbelt. Bearing in mind I weigh a mere three stone, compared to the fatties in the back six stone plus, it's her indoors practice to keep any youngsters on the seat by her wearing a seal belt. Now in our van there is a guard fitted behind the seats so although the guys know when it's Macdonalds and can ask for all the windows down in summer so their ears can flap and cool them down, they can't actually drive or press any buttons for themselves. But me, she has made me wear a seat belt from day one, even when they picked me up and I went home in the back seat with her sitting with me. Now I have to say that I have been an absolute little s@@@ with this thing.....I hate it. I have a double seat and sometimes I manage to get in such a knot, then she twizzles the thing and it's ok again. Plus of course now I am big enough to see out of the windows and totty spot. Anyway, this morning we were following a van which to me seemed miles ahead of us, when we came to a junction where a small lane joins the main road . We had been watching two cars coming down the lane and you could see they were struggling . Give them their due they were slowing down and then all of a sudden the first one just slid straight on to the main road, and the second one piled into his boot and both shot right into the way of us vans. The van in front just clipped one of the cars and did a lovely double axle, ending up the way it was planning on going, and us we decided an emergency stop was drastically needed, but managed to avoid everybody. Now I know that if I hadn't been in a seatbelt I would have been in real trouble, because I heard the big dogs being thrown sideways. For all the care our owners take of us, and the fact that we let them drive our cars..YES OUR CARS! HAVEN'T YOU HEARD THEM SAY " I BOUGHT THE CAR FOR THE DOG) I will never again moan about my seatbelt. Anyway everybody was ok, just bits of metal reshaped and gentlemen????? giving voice to other gentlemen. I looked at mum, she looked at me and we decided we would quietly disappear and let them play. After all the important thing was no dog or person was hurt and bits of metal can be replaced. Anyway if you will excuse me, I can feel the snow calling me......cool runnings Gryff

Something to smile about

Ok, press the panic button, all hands on deck, don't panic Mr Mannering...( only know that one cause I have been watching old tv!) the grizzly troll got his britches in a twist yesterday. Stop laughing, this is tres tres serious.( bit of French there just to remind you how handsome I am on my dads side... Brains from my mum, AWESOME. He phoned up work yesterday afternoon, to say either Ghostie of Freya was ill. Not a lot of difference you might think, one male the other female. One black, the other White, pointy ears on one, flaps on the other......ddduuurrrhhh but there were extenuating circumstances... He had been called out, and had come back to a tsunami of a tiddle in the dog room, heavily laced with red, both dogs being asleep in there when he left. He had the sense to take a sample up to our vets for testing the end result being an unknown k9 was far from well. So could she come home to take the victims to the vets? Duly home Freya and Ghostie were loaded into the van along with a couple of stout leads and an American footballers face mask. As I have explained before Ghostie is the opposite of brave but shows it through wanting to rip other canines heads off while shaking that much you struggle to hang on to this mobile jelly. Anyway on the way there he sang various operas, all from the sopranos score, and did his impression of the wall of death on the inside walls of the van. Once they arrived, the troll took Freya in, on the basis that hopefully it was her and the all in wrestling competition that Ghost had planned was never going to happen. Tough luck, a non starter, so it was Ghosties turn. All doors open, fly through the waiting room, and ignore all the startled faces of clients and owners in the split second it took from door to door. Then Ghost having decided that he hadn't created enough havoc went back into opera mode....this time as a falsetto. Loud, high and unending he went for it big time. Duets, both parts, the Pearl fisherman, La Boheme, eat your hearts out... He did it all. And what made it worse was the vet wasn't even in the room. Eventually he ran out of breath, and his temperature was taken, warm, hot, very hot, oops. Poor old dog, so now he has more pills to take than the average hypochondriac with a possible second visit on the horizon. I am so so glad I wasn't there. Can you imagine it...I would have dug a hole and crawled in rather than be associated with that performance. Any way, remembering the three foot needle they stuck in me, I have a certain amount of sympathy for him on the subject. On the plus side, he mentioned he saw a very pretty Bernese bitch out for a stroll on the way home, so things might be looking up as far as I am concerned. ( once a Frenchman, always a Frenchman! ) Any guesses as to more snow? Got to admit I loved the last lot, although you of the two legs do seem to struggle a little with it. Just proves that four are better than two and that is why you love your 4 wheel drives. Not that they have our cornering abilities.... Anyway time get a bit more work done, so I will say ttfn, Cool runnings Gryff

Someone I would love to have met

Well yours truly is now officially upwardly mobile..... I am now on Facebook. Not sure if that's a good thing or not everybody knowing what I get up to.... Will have to wait and see. Having said that, you will all remember that I am only fourteen weeks old and still having trouble getting my paws to fit the computer, so give me a bit of latitude if I don't get to talk to you straight away. Just had aunty Sarah join it.... Guess what , she had to do it on my computer herself. LOL. Anyway, last night after a serious amount of prompting I got she who must be obeyed to tell me of someone I would love to have met... Great uncle Finnigan. Now it's his first anniversary on valentines day, so he has been popping up in conversation and she has been wandering through his pictures with very red eyes. So I thought that may be like Trinity and Archie's mum and dad it would be good to hear stories of their doings. Finnigan was born somewhere around Nov 2008 to a St Bernard breeder who seemed to have lost the plot, the end result being that in excess of 100 dogs were taken into care by the RSPCA. After about six months and three eye operations it was decided that he might be fit enough to be homed if someone could be found who would be able to cope with his problems. He was small and nearly blind with any amount of problems yet to come. His mother had been starved while she carried her litter and he father could have been any other dog in the kennel, so his general health was questionable anyway.. Now She who must be obeyed has been known to take the odd rescue in, all on the big side, and one of the area managers knew her so she got a phone call from the centre that he was at. Infact she got four, but the first one did the job knowing her... Anyway on the May bank holiday, they both took a trip out to meet The Finnigan. Sufficient to say, she spent the Saturday, Sunday and the Monday with him , teaching him to play, and sitting in the little tea room with his so he got used to the chaos and confusion that any life with Berners is full of. On the Monday Finnigans eyes were really bad again, so she asked that as soon as the vet was available Tuesday he be referee again. On the Tuesday the vet rang her with an update. She had just finished surgery on his eyes and in her opinion there would never be any improvement and they would only deteriorate as he got older. She who must be obeyed asked what would happen if she didn't take him, and was told probably A SHORT LIFE EXPECTANCY. Guess what, she and Merlin picked him up that Friday and that was that. Now can you imagine this crazy woman lifting a part grown St B into a van with Merlin in attendance all the windows wide open cause he smelt so bad, and phoning the girls at work to go to the pet shop and fetch some shampoo and put the hot water on..... Poor Finny he must have wondered what the devil was going on. The good point was that he got three women bathing drying and massaging him and he loved every minute of it, and that was at work. When it came to going home , the performance was repeated but with the windows shut, and just Merlins delicate nose slightly wrinkled. I think it must have taken a brave or a crazy dog to walk into the house that I have come to know... In hind sight I would say an incredibly brave dog! Finnigans problems included cream in his eyes more or less every day as he not so slowly went blind, hip dysplacia and a very delicate digestive system , which meant he struggled to eat all the nice things that we canines take for granted. When it came to going for a walk, the van would come out and a straight lane would be found and all the dogs would get out together and have a mad few minutes....all except Finnigan. He would stand quite still until Freya found her way to his left shoulder, and she would take him up the lane by gently bouncing off his left shoulder. If he started going the wrong direction she would move one way or the other, so she either pushed him right, or he would come left till he felt her there again. The other dogs would stay close and guard against low flying pheasants and speeding rabbits. Which ever way you look at it, that was one amazing family Finnigan was part of. The Old Trout, would follow in the van and pick up the dogs one at a time as they grew tired, Finnigan always unfortunately being the first. He would lie in the side door way, with his paws hooked over the edge, and let the wind blow over his face and flap his ears and as each dog jumped in to join him he would give them a nudge. Now you know why a quiet straight lane was so important. When he went out on a lead either Merlin or Freya always went with him and he took immense pleasure in talking to other dogs and their people. When you think of what he went through, it makes you wonder where his courage and acceptance of people came from. When he was about two, probably because of his digestive problems he went down with bloat and was rushed to the vets. Their immediate solution was euthanasia, because of his background, but she who must be obeyed told them in no uncertain terms that it was her money and to get on with it. At about midnight the vets rang and said he had survived the surgery but was very very poorly. The following morning they rang again and said that they would be keeping him for the next four days to see if he ate or otherwise. SHE asked if there would always be someone there and what his medication was... The answers didn't suit her so they went and fetched him home... Against the vets advice. As far as my family were concerned Finnigan had spent seven months in a kennel through no fault of his own, and if he was going then he would be warm, comfortable and with the ones that loved him. Problem with her indoors is she can be so stubborn where we are concerned. We come first and that's it... Anyway, Finnigans first meal was all the chicken off the top of a Tandori chicken pizza, and his second was a third of a sausage roll. Not perhaps standard Hills but who cares if it works.? Anyway he slowly got through the worst of it, until his appointment two weeks later to have the staples removed. All was well until he went in, and then they found that he hadn't healed internally and had to do more surgery then and there. Poor old boy, your heart goes out to him.. He was so brave all the way through it. Eventually after weeks of tlc he seemed to be on the up, and enjoying life again, until Feb 14 th last year. Now that day is busy for the boss lady and with the exception of Merlin, the others got the day off. When she who must be obeyed walked through the door she took one look at Finnigan and realised that the bloat had come back... And rushed him back to the vets. The consensus of opinion was that it was gas as his stomach had been stitched in place so a full torsion was impossible.... So they released the gas and sent him home. Unfortunately for him all was not well. .... And sometime through the night Finnigan , with the dogs around him slipped quietly away, having reached the grand old age of two and a half. Freya was never the same again, and has only just started getting over his loss. Mum reckons that I am partly responsible for that, so I will continue to creep up behind her, and nip her leg and run away until she tells me to stop. So that is the tale of the incredibly brave and loving Finnigan, whose pictures decorate the walls at home, along with other family ancestors... All loved and missed. Since I was told his story I keep thinking that I would have loved to have met him, and what an honour that would have been. Sleep peacefully Finny, they miss you..... Cool runnings Gryff

What a day

What a day, woke up at half past four to a White world....MAGIC. All the snow I could have wished for. Thank you Aunty Kath and Uncle Mike. Bit of breakfast and straight out with the big man himself. Now I know why Theia loves the skiing on tv. Out along the river and had a ball running up and down and through the bushes making it snow on Merlin as he followed behind. There is nothing like a flat unblemished expanse of snow in front of you, and then running all the way through it doing ski turns, circles and bombing the adults. Never wanted to stop, but made the mistake of looking tired so we turned back for breakfast. She who must be obeyed cooked bone soup for us last night. Do you remember I said that the butcher sent us a load of bones? Well some of them she wouldn't give us, too small or sharp or something. Well anyway, she put them in a big saucepan with all different bits and pieces and stewed them for most of the evening. When we got back , while they took the girls out, she left us with warm biscuits soaked in the gravy juices and chopped bits of meat . Lovely. Must admit by the time they came back with the girls I was giving it zzzzzz's . Anyway the girls got their breakfast and Ghostie too when he had been out. Do you know the darn fuzz balls thought they could muscle in on the breakfast. No chance! Then about eleven o'clock my ears must have been flicking because the word Ferarri filtered through into my dream and I woke up with a jump. They were planning to take it out on to the land at the back of the house and do a photo shoot. Because Merlin was a bit tired and we had some quite deep snow in places it was decided that she who must be obeyed would drag it round and we would walk round with dad... Did it the other way coming back, she was bright red in the face by the time we got there and puffing like a dragon with asthma ... Don't laugh, she is getting on a bit you know!( It's the green rattly scales that give her away) but anyway I got to sit in the Ferarri and have my picture taken. It's even better than I thought. Sleek red and a total babe mobile , can't wait till I am big enough to pull it. The only down side is that the snow doesn't seem to stop very long. By about 1 this afternoon it was starting to melt, but then again we do have to go to work early tomorrow. Just have to hope it's not icy in the morning. And, and we got bone gravy on our tea as a bonus again. What a day, snow, bone soup and a sit in the Ferarri. AWESOME. Anyway, got to get back to my tea, can see fuzz balls approaching. Not good! Take care if you are out and about, cool runnings Gryff

Bring it on baby....

Bring it on baby, it's just got to happen.... Snow snow snow snow, I want snow!!! Today is shaping up as one of the best days I have had so far in my short life. I may not have mentioned this before, but my dad is French ( hence my good looks and charm) and this morning Mr Grumpy had to admit that he had forgotten to purchase our pate... Oops! So as a gesture of appeasement he decided to break out the Boursin ( frog cheese for the cats of this world). And to my absolute and total disbelief there was only three of us that liked it ( uneducated heathens if you ask me) so guess what..double quantities. BLISS. I ate my breakfast first of course Nanny Broels.... I can hear you even though you are fifty miles away, bet you say " eat your crusts it will make your fur curl " too. Anyway, when we stopped for our walk on the way into work, we noticed all the water birds were either sitting on the bits of ice or worse still as far as I was concerned, swimming about in the freezing water. Now our truck read minus seven this morning so who do you think is the sensible one? Anyway, we keep being told four to eight inches of that magical White stuff, late pm to evening, so she who must be obeyed decided to be a total wimp and leave for home early. It's about thirty five miles each way and it's all country lanes with huge dykes and drains every where so I suppose we could let her off, but there wasnt a water bird in sight.... Not even the two geese that challenge you down New Cut... It is getting so cold that they have taken shelter off the water, and out of this lazy wind. ( a lazy wind goes through your fur instead of around you). Makes me wonder how all the wild life survives when it's as cold as today. Add to that the White grey sky and it's pretty much got to happen... And all the main roads have already been salted... Probably saving overtime, no Sunday working. Anyway when we got home, Sir had been out doing the hunter gatherer thing. He was one of the people in the bakers who had bought twice the amount of stuff to put in the freezer incase we get snowed in. I ask you, four Bernese, not an ice-cream in hells chance of that happening! But on this occasion he had also been to the butchers to get his burgers for tea. Now being the lovely gents that they are they sent us a food parcel fit to bust. Five of the most stunning marrow bones I have ever seen. In fairness I have to say these were the first ones I had ever seen but they were so lip smacking that we couldn't wait. An hour later, including all the interruptions ( checking up I was ok...as if) I am totally shattered and in seventh heaven. ( and she won't make me clean my teeth again tonight) So you can see why my day is turning into an absolute cracker. French cheese, snow and my first marrow bone. Tell you what, if I get up in the morning and the weather men have got it wrong , I shall be so ticked off I will chase them off the tv. Anyway, I can smell beef burgers, so would you mind if I take a rain check till next time. Keep everything crossed because I mean what I bark......Snow or else you weather men....cool runnings Gryff

Playing hooky

If I say it myself, I played an absolute blinder today... Got them up early and on the move cause it had snowed a bit again and my tiny little grey cells went into overdrive when I heard somebody say that they had more snow in Norfolk, my home county. Now the other night She who must be obeyed was relating tales of visits to Sandringham woods and the beach at Snettisham and Heacham and I had been thinking how good it sounded and they of course are in Norfolk. Anyway when Aunty Sarah arrived, I suggested we needed some more milk, knowing that she would have to pass the fridge with the cooked sausages in. Bingo, two packets and the milk. Strike one for my plan. Then I chivvied up the pair of them till they had done all they needed to get sorted and by then the sun had come out. Freezing cold but a lovely day all the same. Next job was to get somebody who could drive into the van, with my lunch ,two packets of sausages and a couple of canine friends. Am I good or what? Anyway off we go and first stop is the woods. Awesome. You can walk for miles in there, and go in all different bits. Saw loads of different animals including some grey things called squirrels. If I could go as fast as them on the flat as they do going straight up a tree I could make some serious money. Met this guy in a big truck, who called us over... Scared her indoors to death. Thought we were in the wrong place or something, but he was a keeper out on the estate. He wondered what we were, cheeky so and so.... Anyway seems he thought the three of us were really cool, running around and digging up mole hills but not a breed he had seen before. Told you I was handsome ...... Mind you I suppose Merlin is reasonably smart, but not as cool as me of course. He told us where there might be some deer but we had to be on leads. That suited us, Merlin was getting tired and Theia has a front leg limp sometimes so we headed back down the path he suggested. One minute there was nothing there, the next they stood in front of us. Mum said that they were Mutt Jacks... Never seen a dog like them before. About the same height as a Berner, with greyhound legs and a brown colour with a round body. Looked a bit thick if you ask me, just standing there chewing stuff. Anyway them eating made me feel a bit sharp set and those sausages seemed like a good idea. Nice picnic guys. Can recommend it with a few biscuits of course. Then we headed off to the beach..... Wasnt sure what to expect but there was snow on it so it was ok with me. Merlin of course had to show off and go flying into the water closely followed by her ladyship. It was so funny, her face was a picture... She had never been on the beach either and didn't realise that it comes in two halves. Wet and dry! Don't think she will be doing that again. Got to say personally, I thought it was ok. Perhaps on a warmer day next time.... The water we took in the van froze while we were messing around, so that shows how cold it was. Anyway by this time she who must be obeyed is frozen too and in need of a hot drink. Remind me next time to pack something for her....felt a bit mean, but it was my first picnic.....how was I to know?? Anyway we found a little wooden hut thing and she had a bucket of chips with fish fingers....and I do mean a bucket complete with spade, so going to christen them next time. Can't wait to jump on a sand castle....awesome. Anyway we were all shattered by now, so we headed home. Got to say guys it's a great place to go, but just watch Sept thro to Nov cause they get that seasonal dog bug apparently. Don't know what causes it but it can be real nasty for us canines. Anyway, got to go and sort the domestics out, sand everywhere, must have stuck to her feet.... See you next time guys. Cool runnings Gryff

The White Stuff

Learnt another of the house rules this morning,..... If it's Snowing, Everybody Out! She got me out of a lovely warm basket where I was giving it zzzzzz's to go and play in the snow. She was running around telling everyone to get downstairs like a maniac,then as we all piled up to the back door she just stopped dead.... Now the back door off the dog room is reinforced glass and the outside light is always left on, but the one thing it doesn't have is a cat flap. Yes , you got it..sitting outside, noses frozen to the door and looking like two snow cats were Slice n Dice and non other than Fatcat. Now by my estimation, the Grizzly Troll let us out for the last time about nine thirty just before he disappeared upstairs to read his book. She who must be obeyed had already gone up and was fast asleep all curled up with an electric blanket, so they had been outside for about four or five hours, and when I say that they were White over that's exactly what I mean. WHITE WHITE. Now the average cat would cope but not these two idiots. She threw open the door grabbed them and rushed indoors wanting towels, hot soup, hot water bottles, brandy all the heating putting on, the works. Now I class Merlin as a sensible soul, and he turned around looked at them , and just walked straight out into the snow closely followed by all of us. The chances of the Grizzly Trolls survival were looking pretty small. He didn't do the head count did he? Anyway we just all cleared off into the garden and had a crazy ten minutes barking, practising sliding turns, grabbing lumps of snow and throwing them in the air for someone else to catch.... Well I tried it, but every time I got a mouthful it seemed to just disappear. I would grab it, head over to Merlin to show him, and by the time he took any notice it had disappeared . Got to find out where I was going wrong. Anyway after about ten minutes the noise levels must have registered indoors, because the tattered remains of the Troll came to the door and called us in. Tails wagging and starving hungry we hit the kitchen. Now usually I get a proper breakfast ( honest Nanny Broels) closely followed by hot toast for everyone but this morning the grill had only just gone on but my breakfast was ready. Now I know I should have been polite and offered everybody but I forgot (yeh yeh) so off I went into my office and got stuck in. What I didn't realise was, that as a stop gap for the others ,Mum was ferretting in the treats box. Out she comes with three bags clearly marked "Fish4Dogs". Now I may be young, but for dogs???? Norwegian or Japanese breeds well yes.. Sushi or fish pie, but Bernese Snow dogs.... How wrong can you be. There was chaos... The cats were wailing, Theia was dancing round the room on two legs, and I was extremely glad that I was in my office cause Merlins tail was like a piece of old rope wagging everywhere. Took the towels off the radiator,and tipped up the water bowl, it was manic. Anyway the Troll, anxious to make amends, let me out and made us all sit. Now why if we have to sit don't the fuzzballs? There they are standing on top of my office getting first go at the treats. It said for dogs, NOT FUZZBALLS! Anyway mum starts distributing the treats, till she gets to me. Well first time you are always careful aren't you. Had a sniff, took it gingerly from her fingures and dropped it. Well I thought I dropped it, only problem was it didn't hit the floor. Not sure who got it but I was not impressed! So the next one never touched the back of my throat. Still got to get the full taste of one, but needs must when the devil drives and I was not about to loose any more. One thing I do know is that somebody has got to teach the fuzz balls to read. It definitely said dog, I am sure it did and if they leave their food lying around then it would be rude for us dogs to let it go to waste wouldnt it? Anyway by then the grill has warmed up and the toast hits the rack. One thing I will say in defence of dad is he is an amazing cook. Can make something out of anything and it will be great, bless him. By now She who must be obeyed has calmed down because it's painfully obvious that the cats are fine and quite happy to make the most of being spoilt...As far as snow is concerned it's AWESOME and I cant wait till the weekend when we are supposed to get loads more. Anyway kettles on so hoping the biscuit tin will be out to go with her cuppa..... See I don't miss much already. Will say ta tar for now. Cool runnings Gryff

A sadder place

Today the world is a sadder place with the loss of two Bernese mountain dogs, Archie last night and Trinity today. To their families, and the families of any dog loved and lost , we say "our thoughts and hearts are with you" gryff