Fatty go lightly

Well as you have probably gathered I am pleased to announce that I now weigh more than I think Brutus the buzzard can fly off with. I no longer worry that I am his lunch on the hoof and it gave me great pleasure to stand and bark at him yesterday while out snow ploughing. Sadly having been out this morning before work ( yes Sundays aswell) I think that I have probably seen the last of my game for a while. Him indoors is also beginning to annoy again... Keeps calling me names like porky pooch, B russell pate as well as b Russell sprout, and probably my least favourite frog dog. A not so subtle dig at my ancestry ... Calls Merlin an Auzzie too. Now if he wants to do it properly it should be Le Grenouille or even if he thinks I am getting FAT Le Grenouille grand..... But then he is only a country bumpkin so what can you expect? Do you think he thinks we don't understand? That we don't know when someone is being impolite? Well he is wrong.... I think we do a better job of speaking Human than most people do of speaking canine. At least we try and work out what you want from us, and let's face it that's not always very easy to do. When you talk to each other you frequently say things with double meanings or the tone of your voice is opposite to the words you use. My personal favourite is YES DEAR! It can be so sarcastic you could cut yourself on it or so sickly you want to be ill, or just occaisionally you actually mean it. it's like you smile at us and show us your rows of expensive pearly whites, and to us a double set of teeth means something entirely different... I rest my case! Anyway now I have had a little moan as befitting my station in life, I want to share a useful bit of information with you... You know I said about her indoors cooking bones for us in the slow cooker and it's wonderful. Well did you know that butchers now have to pay to have all those lucious bones taken away.... It actually costs them money.. What is the world coming to? So my advice to all you canines is have a gentle word with them indoors and get them to the nearest proper butchers ASAP. The bones that are huge can go down the garden for a snack and the rest in the pot. Add a few veg , a bit of bran perhaps, and let it stew till all the bits of meat fall off , remove the bald bones and then let it cool till all the fat comes to the top. If you take the fat off solid, that can go on the bird table out of our way. The jelly that's left is wonderful on your dinner, or melted and poured over your biscuits as soup. Healthy diet, clean teeth ( saving money at the vets) and helping the economy into the bargain . NICE ONE! Have to be honest and say them indoors do buy the odd tin of biscuits or chocolates for the butchers as a thanku, but generally speaking we just get more bones next time around. Not a bad tip for a youngster . Just before I go, I would like to say a beg HELLO to a new arrival on the block.... Brynmore Enchanted Odin... To his mates Bryn. He is as we speak travelling up from Welsh Wales to his forever home with Aunty Kath and Uncle Mike. Though you have some huge paw prints on hearts to fill I know Miss Trinity would be pleased by your arrival. No canine likes to see someone they love so sad because they couldnt stay any longer. Go for it mate, and if there's any problems with accents or translations, just give us a bark and I will ask her indoors...... Her family come from a long line of Welsh dragons. Love to hear from anybody with other recipes for us pooches. Take care for now all.. Cool runnings Gryff