The Kray twins practise their skills...

For as long as her indoors and the Troll have had dogs, there has always been a couple of rules.
1) the dog always comes home and 2) there is a visible tribute in the garden which can be seen from the kitchen window. In the past there have been bird tables, water features, statues, carved wood, but ALWAYS ALWAYS something. Now over the last few weeks the back door from our room to the garden has been left open so we have kitchen, utility, dog room and garden and generally speaking his has worked very well for us. .... And we know what we can touch and what to avoid peeing on! Us boys that is! Now the Kray twins are now sixteen months old? And totally committed to their careers in burglary, demolition and general chaos to the extent that we sometimes have to avoid being in the same place at the same time as them. There have been several cases of disappearing food like the Cornish pastie the other day. Bag was still on the table in the exact same place, EMPTY! There was the time when the puppy's rice pudding was cooling on the table with a plate over the top of it, and the plate had accidentally slipped to one side! In fairness I blame Freya, I mean she was the one that gave them bird chasing, and I of course am not related to them so it CAN'T BE MY FAULT? Anyway this morning, her indoors went outdoors to scenes of mass destruction. One of the water features electric cable was in numerous sections all over what was left of the patio. Now give the troll his due, when he does something it usually stays done but not this time. The Krays had obviously decided to practise their burglar alarm dis arming skills and had dug up the shingle and pulled the cable out from under the slabs, indeed even moving some of them, and in true burglar style had left the garden police to sort out the mess! Think its fair to say they now are on the run..... But I don't think it's going to do them any good what so ever. As her indoors said...DO U WANT THE GOOD NEWS OR THE BAD NEWS?  The good news is we still have all the dogs... The bad news is UNTIL I GET MY HANDS ON THEM!!!!! Cool runnings Gryff

Summers past....

You know last Thursday her indoors said to me that summer had just about finished and I looked at her wagged my tail, and thought.....YEH YEH YEH. ....but getting up this morning I think she may be right. Thursday where we are was hot but overcast which made it a bit uncomfortable for us fur balls. ( having said that the troll was doing a bit of moaning)  Friday it rained and I mean it rained with lightening. Us smart pooches never gave it a thought... Thunder doesn't frighten us, we are all brave even the pups, and then Saturday morning it poured again. I saw her indoors looking at the big tree in our front, and she said the leaves had started to turn , what ever that means. Rather hoping for loads of little bone biscuits like our tree at Christmas. The size of it we should have enough to last till the one after next and if its turning it might aswell turn into something nice!  Knew the old witch would do something useful one day! Anyway when I got up on puppy watch about twoish it had gone really nippy and now at six, I can't see the kennels across the road. I suppose some might say that's a bargin cause there's a couple of Terriors across there that don't know how to keep their bone shoots shut at the best of times.  Standing here on the door step (the trolls having a managers meeting.... Having a fag!!)  I can see the ends of the leaves are going red....ok smart arse , us dogs can see reds and blues and yellows you know... I think the old boots definitely right.  That means I have missed every berner event this year for various reasons. All the party's , bbq's, the carting, the Cheer leading everything. Can't even go to the garden party because she won't take us because of the pups BORING!  The only thing that's left is a young lady who wants to have a go at carting..... Even that had a down side because her  indoors says she's related to me so I have to be on my best behaviour or Merlin will get the job. He might get the job anyway at this rate... You know I look a bit like Captain Jack Griffinpaw, well exactly twelve months ago at a show I put my paw down a hole and pulled it. This Sunday afternoon I did exactly the same again.... While the showing was going on in fact. The only difference is I was racing around the garden this time. So now I have a wooden leg to go with the pirate look. Where's a fancy dress competition when u need one? Would have won paws down. Sniff sniff....TOAST?? Guess its time for breakfast... Cool runnings Gryff

Ebony shampoo

Ok... No more laughing, the dog shampoo was black both in the bottle and on the dog!  As I have told you before. Our Theia keeps getting all these new mummy presents.. This week it was some slices of fresh ham the same size as a dinner plate and some girly bits.. Brushes and shampoo... And the shampoo was BLACK. It said on the bottle "to enhance the shine on black coated dogs".  She looked at me and I looked at her, and we both managed to keep our bone shoots shut and bark nothing. The last time I looked in the mirror, which is quite frequently in my case ( even the glass oven doors work)  I would have said we were tri coloured including the opposite colour to black.. WHITE! Anyway her indoors says that manners cost nothing so a paw was given and the matter left there. That was until this morning.  I heard her indoors go into the bathroom and set the taps running and I just knew it wasn't for her.... Luckily it wasn't for me either . PAW OLD THEIA, bath time again. It's got  to be at least the third of forth time in as many weeks. ... And that's when the black shampoo came out. I told her that all her white bits would go grey and I just didn't know what would happen to the chestnut bits.... But away they all went. Bubbles and splashing up the walls all in greys and blacks but her bubbles on her coat were going white. When it came to rinsing her out the water was nearly black but all her white bits we still white. .... And in fairness after she was dry and had another brush just to put her parting straight and her ears dried straight ( her ears go all curly when they get wet)  I have to say I was well impressed. Her coat is shiney and soft and you wouldn't know she had just become a yummy mummy.  I happen to know that there's about half a bottle left so tomorrow morning I am going to stand next to the bath and see if I can get them to wash me. Nothing like a big strong handsome fella like me all scrubbed up clean for attracting totty. Cool runnings Gryff

Just so proud...

Www. The adventures of Gryff.     Well I am, so very proud of the puppy's. Theia has decided that two and a half weeks of puppy sitting is very boring and after the two boys started paying more attention to what was in her food bowl rather than where was the milk bar she is now taking voluntary redundancy. In truth she's been bunking off for the last few days , but being a fella there wasn't much I could do about it.... But now I am in charge! Yesterday  I dragged her indoors down to a large local pet shop, to replenish our supplies, including the extra specials for the pups. Her indoors is dead fussy about what we eat. She says YOU ARE WHAT U EAT especially when you are little and growing at a phenomenal rate... So hunt the best food is a game we play on a regular basis. Our normal diet is one third meat one third veg and one third a food based entirely on fish (not cheap but yummy) and its home cooked. And this of course means that we get something different every day. My personal favourites are all Italien cause I love pasta but Freya likes Chinese with all the veggie rice etc.  Anyway yesterday it was decided that a squidged up bowl of  meat would be tried by my boys  with no great expectancy of it being eaten.... How wrong can u be! All four pups decided to play coat the puppy next door to you, and then having discovered how good it tasted, promptly spent the next ten minutes trying to get it all back. So Theia.... Looks like the milk bars lease is set to expire!  Just remember if you are going away this weekend to have a brill time, and spare a thought for me running around chivvying up the cook and making sure all meals are on time and suitable for the occaission ! Wonder if I can get her to cook a bit extra for me? Cool runnings Gryff

A wander down memory lane

Www. The adventures of Gryff.... This being a dad thing is a lot of pressure you know. Yes before you start I know that it's the bitch of the establishment that's in charge, but I always do my best to be there. It's like tonight,there's her indoors sitting with me as back up on puppy watch.  Don't get me wrong I really appreciate her being there but some of the story's she tells the pups makes my fur curl.(and that's pretty hard to do as I have been practising SELF EXPRESSION with the use of wall paint most of which I am wearing). She can go back generations to her first Bernese Teague. From all accounts he was one of those dogs that once seen never forgotten. How they went to his first show ever and stood there totally lost, until a lady called Di and her husband took pity on them. (Thanku Di from all those years ago) How he went on to do really well and went to places like Windsor Castle and qualified for Crufts. How he was trained in canine espionage.... Five staff and he could still sneak away unseen to Sainsburys or what was then Woolworths.  How she and Mac Dog got pulled over in the van when the police were checking for red diesel.  How he sat there in the passenger seat grumbling at the policeman until he gave back all the documents..... And the policeman suddenly laughed and said....CAN'T EVEN GET YOU FOR SEATBELTS CAN I! And let them go. How, and you mustn't tell uncle rob this, when she hears an old motorbike coming, she always thinks of Merlin and his. The fact that it belongs to Uncle Rob seems to be totally irrelevant ! How Merlin has this knack with the two leg ladies and seems to get invited to all the posh places with the best menus and masseuse in the area. And then of course there are the ladies of the establishment. Freya with her great big brown eyes and shy act. How she puts Matahari to shame by batting those long eyelashes and being so totally 'a lady' that all the blokes fall for her and she gets what ever she wants from them. I remember the time she...oooops better not, little ears and all that.! Funny with Dizzy Tizzy being their mum she won't talk about her to them. It's either that or HRH has never got into trouble and I really don't think that's true. SO WHY DOES SHE HAVE TO TELL THEM ALL ABOUT MY MINOR UPSETS? That's not fair is it? I soon got her onto the subject of the Kray twins. She would  be able to go on forever about those two.  Funny when she's talking about past times I can never tell if she's going to laugh or cry about them. She showed me a picture of Teague riding around in the back seat of a BMW on the way back from MacDonalds with burgers for everyone and it made her cry... He was the  bees knees in a smart motor and everybody loved him. She was looking at the rosettes from the 40th anniversary bash, long long before I was about, and she goes all quiet. But they all had a great day so why?  Then there's great great uncle Finnigan. I know he was a rescue St Bernard with special needs and he only lived till he was three..... But what a time he had living here. So much better than where he was born, or living in a metal run till the court case got done when he was seven months old. She was telling us how he smelt terrible when she picked him up and how all the girls  got together and bathed him outside the back door of the shop. How they taught him to play with toys, and about the day he ran off (well as best as he was able to run)  after a deer. Like that was ever going to work!  How he was there when they went to bed and gone when they got up. He was home,  he was loved, and there is nowhere he would rather have been. So be happy for all the good bits.  You know ....you two legs are definately GLASS HALF EMPTY CREATURES but us Berners are more the half full kind. If you love us (and feed us) that's all we need from you.... We will always be there for you, so remember to smile and laugh. Even the things you think are bad will have happened for a reason..... And WE SHARED THEM so that makes them only a memory..... Cool runnings Gryff

I told you so....

Www. The adventures of Gryff.
I told you so.... I said not to wind her indoors up any more cause she won't take any prisoners and what do they do? Just about everything they can to guarantee a mass grounding, removal of all privileges and the sealing of the biscuit barrel add infinitum. Not even Merlin has got away with being a cantankerous old coot! Got to admit the two piles or ironed washing on the utility work surface was something that even I wouldn't have done in my puppy days. That was bordering on insanity in my opinion.... But that's the Kray twins for you. As a senior sane peace loving mega creeping Bernese , my advice is never EVER have two pups together unless  you can keep them apart at times. What one thinks of the other one does and vice versa. Individually well mannered etc, put them together and the SAS had better look out!  It wouldn't have been so bad but AFTER BATHING HRH because she went walkabout at 2am, they pulled all the bath towels off the line, so one half of the washing had already been washed twice before it got folded and put on the work surface anyway. Oh well third time lucky, but her indoors took it personally. ......  Then she got a text from a friend saying he was joining then for a late lunch, and for love nor money could she find the sausages she knew she had  got out the freezer..... Well only the wrapping, so instead everybody had a mixed grill with chips rather than a BBQ. I mean think about it girls..... We always get BBQ and we lost out totally this time. .... And I think today is just going to be a continuation, judging by the way she bathed my face and FORCE FED me my tablet. Ok I haven't suddenly gone off cheese... But why should I make her life easy? Mind I won't do it again! Do you know what she did? She bit me!!!! First of all I knew it was in my toast, bloody great big PINK PILL. Then she wrapped it in cheese.... STILL A BIG PINK PILL... So I ate the cheese of course, then she rolled it in Roule which I adore, and I licked it off and then she tried to pry my jaws open and choke me to death by putting it down my throat. STILL A BIG PINK PILL. Anyway I didn't mean to but..... I caught her fingers. With that she said a very rude, very un-Bernese word and bit the end of my nose . I was so shocked, my bottom jaw hit the floor (figuratively speaking) and before i knew it she had  thrown the pill in just like a grenade and held my mouth shut till I had swallowed it. Gives a new meaning to the word bitch if you ask me.....AND she says she's going to put ne of those stupid plastic collars on me if needs be. Well she's got to catch me first is all I can say, AND DON'T YOU ALL DARE SIDE WITH HER AND TELL ME IT'S TO MAKE ME BETTER....... Puddlefart it is! Oh and just to make her day. One of the cats has fallen in the river and has come home stinky and covered in seeds and gunge. Wash that one baby!!!!! Oooops she heard me, time to disappear . Cool runnings Gryff

Tizzy does a runner...

Www.the adventures of Gryff... Well as you all know our establishment has puppy's, very young puppy's, at the moment. And iron rules of NO INFECTIONS are in place.  Can't remember the last time I saw all my old mates on the dog walk ( well I did have two weeks sabbatical with nanny before the pups arrived) . What with the time and my new Captain Jack Gryffinpaw look they just won't recognise me.  As for the rest of the dogs they are in much the same muddy paw print. ( this also means no carting bashes or Roade this year).  I mean I understand totally, they are my pups and I want to keep them safe, BUT GUESS WHO DID A 2am runner........... You got it, HRH Tizzy golightly.! While its been so warm and because we live in a very quiet place with absolutely no traffic, our Tizzy has been allowed the front door open, with front garden facilities during the overnight puppy watching shifts. What normally happens is that both two legs are awake during the swop over, beds are changed, tizzy gets one of her extra meals and then goes outdoors with a troll as escort ( you just don't know what you will find in a garden these days) or maybe her indoors. Usually she's doing baby poo patrol (lovely job) so it's the troll who goes out, and of course we won't mention the cigarette because her indoors would only go bonkers . Not because of the troll, but because she doesn't believe we should secondary smoke. Got to say she plays fair though...... When she gets the chocolate out she never does it in front of us  or we get biscuits while she eats hers. Guess there's no such thing as a perfect two legs.... WHAT DOES YOURS DO THAT'S NAUGHTY? Anyway the old troll was a bit slow on the old eight toes, and by the time her indoors said WHERE'S TIZZY she had legged it. Thought the old trout was going to hit him with her broomstick. He stood there all silly and burbly, going a bit blue around the gills and then rushed out the front door. Now why do you two legs keep changing your fur... I could have gone straight out in the street, but you lot have to go and get dressed. Her indoors went out in the garden calling Tizzy (sorry neighbours. I tried to tell her not to shout so loud) while others were looking for their four toed socks.  Anyway after about a lifetime, her indoors sees Tizzy trotting down the path coming back from the wooded area behind us. (We have a back gate that goes straight out to it, but her indoors always walks us up the road because she says it looks after our nails and keeps them short) . She's only seen fit to raise a single paw to the house rules and gone off on her own, ........FOR THE FIRST AND PROBABLY THE ONLY TIME IT WILL EVER HAPPEN in her lifetime.  Anyway her indoors suggested very  strongly that the troll remain upstairs .... His chances of survival being very low if he showed his warty old face before mid-day while she carried on washing and doing.  AND HRH is now semi grounded and while retaining her faculties will have to wear one of those extending leads that Ghostie always uses. Wonder who's going to ask him?  Add to that I am keeping very quiet because my tablets due shortly and I know CATAGORICALLY  that the mood she's in she won't take any prisoners  I need to creep away to somewhere I can't be found easily..... What that saying, TALK TO THE PAW BECAUSE THE REST AIN'T LISTENING!!!!!! Cool runnings Gryff

Guess who's a HOT SPOT?

You guessed it, I'm still in the wars...... Came back from my absolutely wonderful holiday with nanny  with a sore patch on my face it got nearly better and then Friday morning when her indoors got up she went off on one and booked me in at our own vets ASAP. Kept telling her I was fine but would she have it? NO, she had to go and ring K999! I hate that place, boring to say the least and the nurses all come up and ask u how you are? If I was fine I wouldn't be there would I! Haven't you grown, aren't you handsome, bet he won't fit on a table now! WHAT DO THEY THINK I AM? ONE OF THOSE LAP DOG THINGS? yes I've grown, the last time I saw them I was about 4 months old!! I know I am handsome...all Bernese are (except the girls of course) and as for the table  by the time she'd patted it twice I was standing on it looking DOWN at the  vet....( what's that dominance rule! The two legs should  aways be taller than the dog or some such?)  Last time I took on four staff and beat them so this one wasn't even going to get the chance.... Then she fed me a treat, and then another, gave me a fuss and told me to get off her table before its legs bent! cheeky mare!! There I was all geared up and she wouldn't play. The Troll got all upset last time because the vet told him I behaved better for her indoors than him. .... AND?  Her indoors and me have an understanding..... Anyway more pills, more cream, more bathing with hot salt water etc... What I need is my own private nurse, and I know exactly where to find one. A few weeks ago on our page I saw a picture of a st Bernard in a nurses outfit. Think she was at a big do, because she was standing  with a two legs nurse. She had this white bib on with a Red Cross of bones on it and she looked smoking..... Now if I could get a nurse like her I wouldn't mind being ill. And what do I have...her indoors..... With comments like "stand still u little so and so'" and "ok now you've taken the cheese off it you can eat the tablet" . I mean how sympathetic is that? AND she goes off on one if I even think about having a good scratch.  So if there are any sexy nurses out there, with any helpful ideas on how to deal with a hot spot, I am open to all suggestions. Any and all sympathy will be gratefully accepted , oh and the nurse can't be too expensive cause I sent all my bone and biscuit allowance at the vets. Cool runnings Gryff

Ataxic giraffes....

Ok who knows what I mean???? Well the troll says our Asti is an ataxic giraffe... Which is really mean of him. Just because she has absolutely no coordination , and has atleast ten legs when she's trying to get upstairs doesn't mean she's a giraffe.  Got to say in fairness though, that she can get every single leg on a different step at the same time.... So I think she would make a brilliant street dancer. Asti is the larger of the Kray twins and her legs go all the way up to her bum. ( the troll says on two legs that's a good thing) . Not sure it's so good in a Bernese though? As for stairs well we don't get that much practise , not indoors anyway. More used to up and down the river banks. And as for a giraffe, well I got her indoors to bring up a picture on the I pad and it doesn't look anything like Asti.  Ok it's got long legs and a tail, but it's neck is way way longer than Astis, and she certainly doesn't have those little horny things on her head. Actually she has some little pointy ones that pop up every now and then when she s playing with her sissy, or beating up a cuddly toy. Anyway I have decided that the next time the troll starts calling names, I am going to bite his butt! Just a little nip with the old front teeth to remind him he's being rude.  Anyway all this puppy sitting I desperately need a bit of kip.. Bit more of a hectic lifestyle than at Nannys..... Miss you Nanny. Cool runnings Gryff

I'm home dear.....

Well guess who finally made it home yesterday. There I was expecting this huge welcome for the conquering hero, and all I get is cuddles and DO U WANT TO GO ON THE GARDEN? Where's the band and the fireworks. I've been away two whole weeks, none of us have ever been allowed to stay away that long before. That makes me special! It means I am well  behaved, obedient, have excellent manners, don't tramp mud around everywhere and KNOW EXACTLY WHICH BUTTONS TO PUSH TO GET AWAY WITH MURDER!!!. Clever little bugger aren't I! Especially liked the one .... He wouldn't eat out of his bowl, he really didn't like it so we gave him one of ours. I have had my bowl since I was ten weeks? old. It's one of those ERGODYNAMIC things. (Shaped so it makes you eat in a responsible and controlled manner that is better for the digestions and reduces the risk of Torsion)  Yeh Like! What it really means is I can't pick the best bits out and leave the boring bits. Anyway, I soon got it swopped at nannys and did just that. She said I didn't seem to eat very well, just the nibbly bits ! Reckon that's two for two then, four vets staff on the floor in one go, and eating only the nibbly bits. CANINES RULE OK!  Honestly, I had a brill time and can't wait to go again... Just can't tell her indoors especially as I only  just made it back. I can see why Merlin loves his holidays....  All that was missing was the sea, and I can always talk her indoors into that when the pups are bigger. AND there's another thing, I thought Tizzy would be happier to see me but she's ignoring me! Ok get on with it, but I think the pups are cracking.... And she's doing a good job of looking after them. Heaven help a cat if it try's to walk by her basket... Cat mince! Anyway about time I took five and had a snooze. Wonder what's for tea......... Cool runnings Gryff

Death of a Saggy Baggy thing!

You can tell I am away from home. Sounds like the Kray twins are running wild. Just you wait you little @@@@@@ . I'll more than dust your fur for you come Saturday.....!!!  Theia decided that she was most comfortable in Merlins Saggy Baggy thing when it came to having her pups, and nothing and nobody could change her mind. Didn't matter she had this proper large whelping pot just for her. Oh no it had to be the saggy baggy thing.  Now Merlins had it quite a few years and when it arrived in the sale I know it was half price at about £70, and destined to be a doggy heirloom. (Which means of course that one day I would inherit it!)  Anyway after the arrival of the pups the washable bits were washed and the big padded sides were scrubbed and scrubbed and left outside on the bench in the sun to dry. Basically it was too heavy being water logged to go upstairs and into the bath for a good long soak and be properly washed. Even one of those shop washer things was considered but it was the sheer weight that meant it was hard to move. Anyway yesterday it rained and instead of drying it got even heavier.... And was left on the bench for another night. Anyway this morning when it was shift change about 1.30am the troll stood there all ashamed and blushing. He had left the Kray twins outdoors FOR ONLY A FEW MINUTES HONESTLY!!! And they had totally demolished the saggy baggy thing and had a total foam tossing party everywhere .... In the bushes, down the path, all over the dog room, it looked like a blizzard had hit. Her indoors went potty! DO U KNOW WHAT HAPPENS TO DOGS THAT SWALLOW FOAM?   CAN'T LEAVE YOU ALONE FOR FIVE MINUTES?   LOOK AT THE MESS add infinitum.( well she only got about eight  hours sleep from Saturday night to date, so to say she's a bit cranky is probably an understatement ) anyway out came the dustpan and various brushes and the worst was tided up. BUT if you remember I said the cushion was taken out and washed separately.  This morning, our head sir dog decides he wants his saggy baggy thing back...... So her indoors puts the cushioning back in the cover and puts it down where it should be. Merlins face was a picture.....YOU CAN'T BE SERIOUS! I WANT MY SAGGY BAGGY THING!  Passes wind very loudly and stomps off in a major paddy. Need I say more..... Guess everybody is on short rations till another saggy baggy thing is found (if they still make them) and most especially the Kray twins. Cool runnings Gryff

Who let the pups out..........

Well uncle Rob.... You let the proverbial pups out the bag!!! Yes, I am pleased to announce the safe arrival of four pups over Sunday evening and into Monday morning. Two little fellas and two pretty females, from Theia and myself . Don't I just make a cool dad and Tizzy is an absolutely brilliant mum, especially as this is her first litter. I would also like to congratulate the Dolyhir Clan on their great news.  Normally I would have waited a little longer to tell you all, especially as I am away from home at the moment on duty else where..... Don't know quite what the kids will think when I get home at the weekend looking like Captain Jack Sparrow or Scarface Malone. I shall just tell them it's part of the job, and that I enjoyed beating up four Vetenary staff on behalf of all canines! I was looking forward to a few long lie ins,,,,,, a bit like you in your wheel barrow Uncle Rob (did u see the  picture.... So funny.... ( go look at Rob Yarkers page... Beaten up by a four month old berner pup and a gorgeous St Bernard... Brilliant) guess that's not going to happen is it? Never mind I will catch up later. Got to say I have had a brilliant time away and a big big thank you for all the spoiling cuddles and treats I have managed to accumulate. Literally home from home including the "HER INDOORS). If I didn't know better I would say the two ladies were related the way they look after us Berners. Grandads pretty cool too, especially on our guys only walks. Oh well think its time I put my head down. It's a good job the clock was never set on this blogg, you don't want to know what time it really is just now. Cool runnings Gryff

In the wars...

Well I suppose you have all heard what I have been up to thanks to my nanny....  I mean she had to tell everybody! Why do they do that to us.... I mean where's my street cred now? Taking me to the vets was bad enough, and I apologise to the FOUR members of staff that couldn't hang on to me (yeh like!!!) but to slip me a Micky Finn was a bit naughty!  At least my stripe makes me look kinda mean and streetwise. Move over Johnny Depp, I want to be Tonto with my Mohican fur cut. I say it was a bad scratch that went funny because I have been working so hard, not that Eczma thing... I at least expected a bit of sympathy from her indoors but she just laughed and thanked nanny for looking after me so well.  Well if all in dog wresting is her idea of fun, then bring it on baby.... Looking forward to her taking me next time, I'll show her. May be if I get one of those three cornered pirate hats and a scarf thing to go underneath it, I can cover most o f it up and just leave the bottom bit showing just like Jack Sparrow.  I remember when Merlin got a Haematoma in his ear and they were talking about putting buttons and stitches in it, how cool it all sounded but her indoors wouldn't have it. Said he was too handsome  to even consider it!!! Ok so where does that leave me??  A bit of rough or plain not handsome I suppose. Guess I can give the mirrors a miss for a while. Just ignore me folks , it's that Micky Finn barking, I will be fine possibly, eventually, sometime, perhaps!!!! In the meantime I shall play to the crowd and have them all eating out of my paw....especially when it comes to those HUGE MASSIVE pills I am supposed to take. Cheese Pâté or Sausage, only way ladies! Get used to it! Cool runnings Captain Jack Gryffinpaw

Sniffy walks, wandering walks, BORING walks....

I suppose to all you two legs, a walk is just that, a walk. But do you ever stop to consider what a walk is to us? You automatically assume that we always want to go out and would  enjoy it where ever you take us... But it's simply not true. To poor old jelly dog, a walk on his own with the troll is positively SCAREY . He just doesn't know what's hiding behind all the bushes, or around the corner. Every blackbird or thrush flying in low could be closely related to THE BIRDS. ( don't tell me you haven't seen that film because I don't believe you) . If Merlin or Freya go with him, it's only half as SCAREY because they have a calming influence, but if they go off and talk to another dog, he has a total meltdown. To every other dog owner he is gobby and a gsd. To us he is a stressed out nervous wreck, and no matter what anybody does except give him happy pills nothing is going to change him.  Me, well I used to love RUN LIKE A MAD THING Walks, but her indoors has stopped them because she says its too hot, so now I have sniffy walks. Take my time, shove my nose in everywhere and enjoy myself. It's amazing what you can learn even after its poured with rain. Lacey is a hearing walker..... Every little noise s picked up on the old bat bugs and the head flies round till she clocks what's going on. If she's not happy she will have a little bark. Odd since Asti is our official BARKER and GATEKEEPER. Asti, well she couldn't walk in a straight line if the last bone in the world depended on it. Her indoors says she was the hardest to teach to walk to heel because you were never sure whose heel she would choose! And old Grumpy Grandad (Merlin) , he just does his own thing. A wander here, a sniff there, hello sexy to the golden lab. Can't remember the last time he went on a lead unless theres traffic about. Bit deaf, lost a bit of the old eyesight but again, there's not a lot the old so and so misses...... And then of course there's the TRAINING walk. NO COMMENT is the best description for that, or A GOOD WALK SPOILT ( that's what her indoors says about the trolls Golf!) Anyway what's your favourite, the beach, the woods, big rolling fields you can run for miles in, or the trip to school where you get all the fuss in the world.? Cool runnings Gryff

Lovely Sundays

I just love Sundays. A long lie in, a trot around the fields, cooked breakfast and back to bed with the news papers. Nothing like a gentle snooze in the shade when you are chilled out and full. One thing I have noticed being at Nans is the different type of Sunday papers available to me. Normally is things like The Observer and The Bones weekly, the Paws Express,  with all their special features. How to stay cool on the hottest day of the year.... Best biscuits on the market.... To vaccinate or NOT to vaccinate. You know, all the important bits. Add to that the show results and general doggy gossip and I am occupied for hours. Well at least until her indoors starts lighting the BBQ.  Here at Nans it's all girly stuff. Things like Fabulous  Fur, Fake Furballs, Sexy Setters, Sunday Paws with all the fancy pictures. Things like whose been seen out with who and whose expecting whose puppy's. All the scandal and gossip going.... Glad I haven't seen any reporters peepin over the fence. Mind you some of the pictures of fur babes in their paddling pools look good..... COOL! I think it's because the females out number me and Grandad five to one. Poor grandad, bet he's really glad I'm here to look after him for a while!. Anyway, it's time for elevenses, especially as me and grandad did a bit of bonding over a nice road walk for a change this morning. Talk to you later .....Cool runnings Gryff

Asti applies to Bark-A-Lona

Now our Asti has always been nuts about BALLS (the round bouncing variety) while the Troll is Barkalona potty. Put the two together and it will always add up to trouble. He had to go and open his great big bone shoot and tell her all about the football schools that exist and that was it. Nothing will do but Barkalona! After months of practise in the garden, the Troll told her he thought now was the time. Between the two of them they have everything sorted.... Transport to Spain , how to find the stadium (complete with map) , accommodation , shirt number (666) on blue and grape, with the name Nasti or E Vil to help frighten the opposition . Next thing you know they will be discussing managers fees, transfer fees, and whose going to supply her boots. Now there we have a slight problem.... One sponsor or two, front or back paws or left and right. Got to say Asti is very definately left pawed..... So that's got to be the main sponsor. Then there's all the grooming kit, and the fur fluffing that goes on...... AND DOES SHE HAVE TO SHARE THE CHANGING ROOMS? Got to say there can't be many footballers as quick or as agile as she is. ..... Think there's a lot of sorting out to be done. Think when I get home (been offered extra days at nannys hip hip horray)  I had better put my best ideas forward and see what's in it for the rest of us. Cool runnings Gryff

Curls or no curls.....

Just because I am on holiday at my nans, doesn't mean I don't know what's going on in my absence!! I know that MY TOAST AND PÂTÉ is still being done every morning and I am not getting it!! (Just don't tell them that nannys doing me two slices every morning. Took my own pâté you see)  I know that Theia is getting two slices AND on top of that she's swopping Ghostie's toast for some  gravy bones. There you see.... Not thick as you thought am I? BUT she won't eat the crusts. Now that I think is her  indoors fault . I think she told  her to eat her crusts to make her fur curly. Now what berner mum to be would want curly puppy's that could look like back poodles. Anyway, I had better make the most of the next few days because it will soon be time to go home. Will talk later...Cool runnings Gryff