Who let the wind out, woof woof woof?

Ok now this was my first Easter and I thought it would be lovely and warm and all it's done is blow a gale and rain like mad.I was really disappointed aswell because we didn't get one egg between us, not one. Apparently on Saturday morning, when her indoors went to get us something special, her purse was missing from her handbag. She got in a right old stew. She had us looking everywhere even places that only an idiot would put a purse. Then about four o'clock when she had given up, she happened to walk past Ghosties pot, and there it was. Now I know he sometimes pinches her gloves or slippers to cuddle, but her purse. That dog has got more brains than I gave him credit for BUT he chose a really bad time to do it. It cost all of us our Easter treat. Sunday went out to a new river bank where there were loads of other dogs strutting their stuff, and my ears kept blocking them out because of the wind... Then when we turned round to come back it kept blowing up my tail. Undignified or what? There were setters, jacks, labs and bitza's everywhere , some had even been in the river.. Crazy dogs ( now I know where the phrase MAD DOGS comes from) and it could have been real fun. Then I got in trouble because I didn't recall ,but honest I never heard her in the wind. Well that's my story and I am sticking to it! Bit like when I shoot off next-door cause the ladies are just sitting down to coffee and BISCUITS , if you get my drift. Even now after having pinched a packet of twenty chews off the table I can still feel the cold. I think they must not be feeding me enough... What do you think? Her indoors says it's because my puppy coat is falling out and my other one hasn't grown properly, but I noticed that Merlin was wearing a big green jacket thing when he got dragged out in the rain... So where's mine? Ooops shouldn't have mentioned the chews but Aunty Jackie grassed me up this morning. I was only copying Freya, because she took a load off the table first thing, although her indoors caught her out. See that just proves my point, we are all starving. Just cause we had sausage for breakfast yesterday and pate and toast and bone casserole for tea, well I am a growing lad!! And Bryn keeps telling me about Cornish pasties and cream teas. Now he will be needing a good run when he gets back... Another edge to me in the hole digging competition. What is a dog supposed to do? Then after the river, they went to a garden centre and bought loads of green things in pots. I call it plain ungrateful because where ever I dig them a hole , it's always wrong... Why dont they just tell me when and where and then I won't get in trouble. I know one thing, I am not going out there now. Curled up warm and comfortable so no chance. I shall just pretend to be asleep when they try dragging me out for another walk. Time for a few zzzzzzz's in my opinion. Wonder if I will dream this time. They laugh at me because my paws twitch, or so they tell me, and I woof in my sleep too. At least I don't snore as loud as Merlin does.... Noisy fussy womanising old so and so....wish I could get away with it like he does.... Cool runnings Gryff