Anybody believe in signs ....

Www. The adventures of Gryff.  Anybody believe in signs from those that are at rainbow bridge! I mean really believe? Yesterday the GB magazine arrived and her indoors actually managed to tear it open and sit down with it....... Till the troll started up! After a couple of hours she put it back in its envelope unread and gave up. Now as I said, she's not been sleeping that well, so about 4am this morning she came downstairs to make a cuppa and a have a few biscuits with us. Ever since we can remember she always starts and ends her birthday with us. On the table were a couple of unopened Xmas cards and the white envelope. Having nothing better to do she opened the cards to find  that one has what looks like a berner pup on. It's like a cartoon of  eight animals looking over a gate to the snow, and it's from a couple who are older and have never seen a berner let alone met one. Anyway with the second cuppa she went back to bed taking the magazine with her.  Imagine how she felt when going through the photos, there sits Merlin, not once but twice . Two separate pictures with his nibs in, with that big berner smile all over his chops.  Now I know for a fact that she really wanted him here for Christmas! and with all that's gone on, her birthday was all but forgotten..... So why did he turn up on her day, basically three times. Once is a happenstance, twice a coincidence and three times.... ? All those letters arrived a week to the day and roughly the time he went, but by design or fate were left till today, her day.  Then add to that there was a card hidden in the big envelope with a berner on which she also found this morning (thanku.... You know who you are) and today is full of Bernese. So the question is..... DO YOU BELIEVE? If love is as strong as we like to think it is, can it still keep us connected to those we love and have lost?  And if we look and are open minded can they let us know that they are safe and happy. Cool runnings Gryff

I keep trying.......

Www. The adventures of Gryff. .... Well it's all I can do.... Since every other dog in this house was a puppy,  Merlin has always been there to look after us, to sort out who had what, and who has which bowl. Now with him leaving for rainbow bridge, everybody seems a bit woofy and short on tolerance. Her indoors is still really upset, but i am doing my best to be there for her. I've started lying by her in the sitting room, and when the door goes I bark and sit at her side like Merlin did when she opens the door. The only thing is, when he barked we all went quiet, when I bark everybody else carrys on barking. It worrys me that I might not be as good as he was, in everything  he did. Her indoors keeps saying that he had years to learn all he knew, and I am still a youngster, so I shouldn't worry. Even the troll, who is usually a bit bossy and DO IT NOW keeps telling me everything will be ok.  The Kray twins are really being little s@@ts! There were some Stollen finger things on the back of the table and they stole them..... Ate the lot without even thinking about us, so I had a few growls at them which of course brought her indoors down stairs. I thought she would go ballistic, but she didn't . So that just proves things aren't sorted yet.  Then there are other Bernese , young ones leaving for rainbow bridge and she gets cross and upset and says they are far too young to be leaving , where Merlin was older  by any standard and it  was still too soon for him to go..... His age , she says is what made him so wise and well behaved. I can't remember a day when he wasn't in charge or flirting with the ladies. He got invites from other families for holidays , or requests to babysit their new pups.... He went away on fellas weekends with his friend Rob , and that Miss Lola the St. Bernard . He carted, he  drove around in a motorbike and sidecar. He did fund raising with other dogs for half a dozen charities, and that smile never came off his face..... No matter what was going on , he could deal with it. Add to that he was majorly handsome and loved nothing more than a berner day out ..... Well how do you follow an act like that? Her indoors says we are all grieving but in different ways, (although some people say that us dogs can't grieve) and I think she right. From miss behaving to barking, to wanting loads of cuddles, us dogs do understand when someone leaves...... Sending love to all the homes that have lost a Bernese...... Cool runnings Gryff

Loved and lost forever

Have you ever had something or someone so priceless, that you can't actually put a value on them?  Something so wonderful that you can't function without it..... And you hadn't realised just how much of an influence it had on your life. How with it's being there all would come right, and you felt protected, balanced and whole? If you were out and about you found new friends because of it, and your old friends were there because of it. How any decisions based on their judgement were always sound, and if they didn't like someone then you walked away, because they were never wrong. How they had the capacity to read your mind and your mood, and had a natural empathy with strangers that needed  support or a friendly touch to let them know there was somebody on their side. How they teach without you even knowing that's what they are doing. How they set an example that seems almost impossible to emulate and sets the bar so high that people can't match them, and  your respect for them and their ideas is boundless. How just to be with you is all they ask for , in good times and bad, and without you realising, they just lift an eyebrow and peace is returned, or the turn of a head and what ever was going to happen just stops! How they can laugh with that silly lop sided smile, and make you laugh even when you felt like crying. How THINGS didn't matter to them , only the touch of a hand when wanted , or a cuddle.......  Heaven only knows what I would give to be able to feel that touch right now, to be able to feel that cuddle one more time. You are a breath and a heartbeat away, but all I can feel is your loss and so much pain I think my heart will break. Rest in peace and thank you for spending your life with me Merlin, now you need to teach me how to carry on without you........

Butt bump and barge.....

Now guys this is just for you because if the the girls find out about it, all you will be able to find of me is bits in various ditches scattered around the countryside..... It attracted my attention yesterday when I saw three lady berner butts trying to get through the door together that either we needed wider door frames or SOMEBODY was getting a little wide in the beam. Now Freya has always been slightly that way inclined, some say from having two lots of puppy's .... But I say it's due entirely to her nose. If ever a nose was finely geared to search and eat , it's hers. The  smallest crumb never gets past her. The merest  suggestion of an aroma from the kitchen seven doors down and the old radar sniffer is on full alert. As far as her daughters are concerned , Lace and Asti, (the Kray twins) well it could be either hereditary or in my opinion it's due most probably to all this power carting they've been doing over the last few weeks. I mean Merlin has three vehicles and the one they have been driving around ( for that read borrowed or stolen without owners permission)  is only the heaviest , the longest, and is on pneumatic tyres which we all know are much harder to pull than wooden/metal rimmed wheels) . I mean body building or what? Add that to their long walks with this geezer called Monty, and then their walks out with me, and all I can see is muscle and BUTT. I suppose in fairness it's not a picture I would ordinarily see, because I am always out the door first, but it's definitely one I don't want to see every walk. I mean it's enough to knock all the puff out of a bloke if you get caught in the stampede!!! Add to that the fact that SANTA PAWS is on his way quite soon, and I can see some serious dieting going on in the new year. Her indoors has actually put a tree up in the hall this year. On top of the big wooden chest. Something about it NOT being a pee post for any dogs coming through the house. Very very unusual for her.... She doesn't really do Christmas, something to do with not needing anything from Santa Paws, or what she wants isn't possible. Well bark for herself I say... I can think of loads of bits I need, want or could do with....... Bet the girls can too, especially FOOD lol. Cool runnings Gryff

OOOPS a daisy!!!

Well I mean how embarrassing can a two legs be? I am just so glad that I wasn't there and it was the Kray twins that had to put up with glowing red cheeks when her in doors embarrassed all and sundry on Saturday morning. As you know her indoors had a BEING MEAN weekend planned. First I had to be wash dried and ironed on Friday in time for a show I was supposed to be in on Sunday. Then she was planning to drag the Kray twins out carting with the big red Sleigh at an old folks centre on Saturday! and then Sunday was her day for making me dance around a show ring like something off STRICTLY!  Well guess what..... She went base over apex, with legs wriggling about in the air, and all the air puffed out of her, to say nothing of the sleigh landing on her front padding bits, all because she doesn't actually have EYES IN THE  BACK OF HER HEAD!!! You got it, lifting that big old sleigh that she makes us pull, into the van with help from Uncle Rob, she went and fell backwards over a stone that holds the gates open...... Like she hasn't seen it a million times (and I've pee'd on it as well) . Just because it got moved a few inches from where it would normally be! Well she should have eyes in the back of her head. Do you realise that if the cart hadn't landed on her padded bits it could have been damaged? And then to add insult to embarrassment she still made the Krays cart and me get out of my basket early Sunday morning to go to the show. Well anyway , when we got there i was the perfect gent, didn't pull or make a fuss, but when it came to her getting out of the chair..... Well I just rolled around laughing. Talk about stiff, creaking and had it! There wasn't an icecream in a warm place's chance of her even walking me round that ring let alone making me MOVE. JUSTICE at last , I could go home, creep back into my lovely warm basket and dream about Sunday dinner..... Then some un named and closely related nanny suggested that somebody else run me around the ring. I thought my nanny loved me (especially when I got the sausage  and the treats that kept accidentally falling from her fingers in my direction)  but I am not so sure now . Anyway to cut a long story short, I did ok with a second and a third, her indoors got us home and was high as a kite a couple of hours later on some fancy pain killers but only after we got a Sunday lunch (including hers which she didn't eat) fit for an apology to us dogs for the embarrassment she caused us.  Cool runnings Gryff

Santa's little helpers?

Www.the adventures of Gryff.  Well the little horrors managed it... Took the red sleigh out for a spin and brought it back in one piece. Got to say I was bone smacked they went , especially as I have been doing my best to wind the two legs up all week. ( and although I say it myself , have been doing a cracking job too).  I really thought her indoors would not be in the mood and would cancel... But no, no her! Add to that it was cold and raining and I would have put all my biscuits on it! Just proves what the troll says.... About females that is.  And then just to really wind ME up , she went and booked me in for a wash dry and iron. Just what does she think I am? Got to admit I have been a bit of a B@@@@r this week. Counter surfing, bit of a scrap with some mutt that barked at me, and a bit of bowl swopping on the old Q T. Personally I think taking the sleigh out in November is a bit early, but I suppose they have to have a bit of practice.....  Thought as it's the first time they would cock it up, but we are talking the Kray twins , so I should have known better. Anybody would think they were going to be santas little helpers at some bash! I know... I can get them some of those reindeer antlers to wear, that should wind them up. Just make sure I remove all their tools of the trade before I do is so they don't retaliate. Anyway, better go and have a think about what I can get up to tomorrow, and I need a really good one for the day after my enforced bath...... FOX POO sounds good for that one! Cool runnings Gryff

Lock up your bones boys and girls...

Www.the adventures of Gryff . Well I warned you all... If it's valuable lock it up everybody. Bolt or screw your basket to the floor. Pile up your rugs, bones biscuits and toys and chain them all down.... The Kray twins have formed the perfect carting team. Last week Lace took to it like a dog to a bone and this week Asti did exactly the same. Wouldn't be so bad but the two legs took them to the motorbike scrambling first to take the edge off them, and I swear I saw them timing the laps ......  I just know that they would love to cart the track , mud muck and all.  There isn't a pet shop that's safe from them now, and I know I heard Lola ordering a pink leather collar with diamonds after they got back, so saddlerys and jewellers are probably also fair game.  Add to that the fact that her indoors and uncle rob were rolling around in the mud under the trailer together , and I couldn't be more embarrassed!!!!!.  They had the nerve to blame my puppy Hatty , by saying she takes  her toys under there , so the big dogs can't get them and she'd pulled the wiring loose to the back lights!  Like anybody is going to believe that of my little Hatty . The times I get told off for getting muddied up and they expect me to accept such a stupid excuse. If it had been my puppy , she would have had the floor out as well!  And then there's Dexter...... All smug because he's got a bit of totty doubled  up with him on one side, and the other walking the other side...... Just to stay close to him. I told them you can't trust these  older males, but they just won't listen to me!   AND THEN her indoors goes and gets the two little Bugrats  matching new collars. Matching collars,matching leads, it will be matching new harness soon, probably in gold, or black patent with gold bones on something equally stupid.  I can just imagine Lola (the St Bernard) suggesting pink, but I know the girls won't have that. Far to girlie for them. Oh well folks, consider yourselves warned...... Cool runnings. Gryff

Dred locks or extensions?

Www. The adventures of Gryff .  I told you I would get even with them for putting me in a cart.... Well I am BIG TIME! Guess who's in the show ring in a few days ...... And guess who's blowing his coat. Yep you got it!!!!  And I mean big big time blowing my coat. Her indoors has brushed me, hoovered me,stood me out in gale force winds and she says that technically I should be totally bald. Yeh like that's ever going to happen. I even showed her a few pictures of Komodors and Pulis but she thought I was taking the mick!  I see absolutely nothing wrong with her platting in the brush outs or glueing them back on, it just means that I change class ...... Can't see a problem, and she gets to keep all her money for entrance fees. What more can she ask for.? Nanny on the other hand will be a different matter. Î know she's looking forward to seeing me and it wasn't her that stuck me in a cart,  plus last time I did quite well.... OK, which classes guys, Rough Collie, Puli, or Komodors ? Cool runnings Gryff

11th hour of the 11thday of the 11th month...

It's a grey day today, it's raining and that seems appropriate , as we stop and remember those who served and didn't return in years past. Somehow all the parades and poppy tributes seem to help, but do they remind us of our forces who are still serving far from home? Did you know that there are upwards of 100 service dogs currently on duty in Places like Afghanistan?  I tried so hard to get one of those Poppy's to hang of my collar but I couldn't get one. Not too impressed with wearing a flower in my collar but I am determined to show support. Us dogs have been used in wars for thousands of years.... Doing our duty, along with the likes of horses and pidgeons, and it's them I would like to remind you of. Along with the security and explosive sniffer dogs, our sort fight other battles...... Against disease, loneliness and physical disability. Think of the ones you see .... Guide dogs, hearing dogs and assistance dogs. Then add the depression support dogs, Autism support dogs, a gap where in Canada,  Bernese and Bernese retriever crosses are leading the field. Then there are the dogs that give warning for those with chronic Diabetes , narcolepsy , and epileptic fits. Then the lower profile pooches,  search and rescue! the Newfies that practise water rescue off Cornwall. The sheepdogs that cover miles to bring home the livestock when the weather is closing down working in a team or on his own. Then, you have that group of specialists that we hardly ever talk about.  The dogs trained and being trained to scent cancers, the cadaver dogs, and those who can scent remains lost in water. As a species there is nothing to touch us, and I for one am extremely proud of our heritage.  So just remember all those who also served and are still serving that have four paws.... When it's the 11th hour of the 11th day of the 11th month. Wear your collar with pride.....Cool runnings Gryff

Female drivers!!!!

I told him, I said don't do it Dexter , but he had to go and be a gentledog! What Bernese in his right paws agrees to lend his best wheels and his two legs to teach some upstart female bone digger to cart?  I made it quite clear last time that carting wasn't for me.... I even went to the extreme of breaking the traces (in two places- might as well do it properly) , and as for teaching some female, well I ask you. Anyway our Dexter went out with me! two up! but being an experienced OLDER dog, he just wouldn't put the paw to the metal, and despite all my playing up we had a sedate and controlled walk. Now that Lacey Locket the pocket rocket, well she's an entirely different kettle of fish. In fairness she's been about carts since she was a small pup, and if I didn't know better I would say she's been practising on the quiet. She had a go last time with harness only,then harness and what was left of the traces and this time it was all or nothing. Add to that there were two black labs and another berner creeping up behind her , and I have to say she coped really well.  I personally think that she and her sister are planning a bank job or something, perhaps a pet shop, or a jewellers? Something that's going to need a quick getaway with a set of wheels to carry the  spoils. I bet they've got passports hidden in their baskets somewhere! That could be why her indoors has spent a large part of this week emptying , washing and drying our goody cupboards. She was looking for their falsified papers and bones. All our winter rugs, towels and kit have all been washed.even the senior dogs coats, and the trolls collection of silly hats and four fingered gloves got thrown in to the washing machine too. Personally I can't see the point cause we are only going to get them dirty, but she said they smelt fusty.  And then as if that wasn't enough the soft old dog let her take the cart out on her own. For all we knew she could have just disappeared with it and hidden it up while they planned the job.  Or, or there is this new berner she's just met. Name of Monty..... Perhaps she's planning to impress him? She was a bit choppsy when they first met on Saturday when we all went for a walk, but she seemed quite struck by the time he went home. Oh well we will just have to wait and see......... What's your choice? boyfriend or bank job ? Cool runnings Gryff

COI 27.... You can't be serious...

Well it's true.... I checked it three times off the KC Breed records Supplement AQ2 April to Jun 2013. The KC have therefore accepted that which they say they don't!!!! A mother/son A Daughter/father or a brother /sister mating gives a score of 25 according to the Kennel club and is no longer acceptable..... So how on earth does somebody manage to generate a score of 27 and still register their pups with the Kennel club?

Flash in the pan

Well it looks like I made a few friends and I lost a few friends, much as I expected with my last comments. Good job I am made of solid stuff.....  But the good thing is everybody is reading talking and arguing over things. Perhaps with a bit of luck they are even wandering around the internet trying to learn for themselves. Part of the issues that are about now are due to people not having up to date knowledge..... Things have been in place, such as the annual vaccinations , for so long that we have grown so used to getting the reminder card from the vet and off we go. We ASSUME that the vet is always right because they are THE VET!  Well folks, those days need to be gone..... When was the last time your vet told you that some vaccines are live and can actually give your puppy the disease that it's supposed to stop. When was the last time your vet told you that the eight week old love of your life could go into shock and you should keep your eyes open for any symptoms? That there is in fact now a register for dogs that have died or had a reaction to a vaccination . .......  The average professional doesn't even mention that there are TITRE tests available which will tell you if the light in your life is still immune from a previous injection, and that further vaccinations are putting your dog at risk and a total waste of your money ! If I can teach my two legs to search for things on the internet, then I am sure that you can teach yours..... Two years it's taken me, but it's been worth it. Now nothing gets taken at face value, everything is looked at and best of all I get to do my blogg, ( even if she tells me I am playing with fireworks!)  .  It's like one of the pups when it went for its first vaccination.... Her indoors will not vaccinate under 8 weeks, and the pups were born the Sunday night early Monday morning, of course everybody wanted to take them home on the Saturday so she gave  the new parents the choice, they could wait till the Monday and job done or have them Saturday am and sort the vaccinations out for the following week. What did happen on the Wednesday before they left was that they were microchipped and vet checked , weighed and wormed with a product that lasted four Calender weeks. When they left they had all the relevant paper work to show their new vets and instructions to show these to the vet so new records could be started. On the following Wednesday a new owner rang up in a panic... The new vet had done the injection, given them a joint worming flea treatment product FOR IMMEDIATE use and told them that the pup should be neutered at six months. Her indoors went loopy! She got even more cross when  she was told the vet had charged  nearly £80 for the treatment and information given. When she calmed down, she suggested that a new vet was in order, and had they definitely shown him all the paperwork ???? And was he an older gent or fresh from college? One thing that she did ask was did he drive a fancy car? That bit I didn't understand but I guess it's a two leg thing! Anyway, little one now goes to a different vet, who is homeopathic ally  ( bones! That's a big word) qualified as well as BVA qualified so her indoors is a lot happier. Needless to say the wormer / flea treatments weren't used and when eventually returned the new owner was told that they were complimentary so no money was refunded. That means that the initial vaccination cost nearly £80.  So like all things there are the good and the bad in every job. All I am saying folks, is check things out for yourseles. Look up over vaccination on the internet, if they say your dog needs this and that doing, look it up before you say yes. If your dog is always scratching then look at what it's eating and don't assume he needs his monthly flea treatment... In fact have you ever seen a flea on him?

How to loose friends and upset people

In the last two weeks, her indoors has had three calls from families who have all lost their beloved Bernese mountain dogs. One was two and a half, one was six, and the last was seven. All the dogs came from the same breeder, all three had inbreeding COI 's of between 15-20, and all three died from cancer. Why when the facilities are there to plan healthy litters with lower COI 's is this happening. The first Bernese that lived in this house , born 14 years ago had a COI of 20, and died of cancer, and now a decade later nothing seems to have changed. Families are still having their hearts broken and dogs that are odds on to die of a cancer are still being bred because SOMEBODY ONLY CARES FOR THE CASH OR THE SHOW RESULT.  Everybody is entitled to their own opinion but to simply ignore what's going on in a breed is like burying your head in the sand. Ok working on just the COI isn't guaranteed to do the job, but it's a start. Some breeders say that using foreign stud dogs artificially decreases a litters COI , and it's cheating, but what it's actually doing is doubling the gene pool within the resultant litter.   Health checks are in place on the continent, where the gene pool is much bigger than in the uk. Dogs that are with responsible breeders, with all their accompanying paper work have been health checked and anybody who loves the breed is only going to import lines that they know will bring benefits. Now in addition to cancer, we are looking at Canine Degenerative myelopathy  which if you read the articles is definately hereditary ..... But can be both checked for and controlled with responsible breeding .  Yes miracles  don't happen overnight, but atleast take the time and trouble to research things for yourself, irrespective of being a breeder of twenty five years standing, a new breeder, or a CASH breeder. How many breeders do actually check the COI of dogs they sold ten years ago or know if they are still alive?  You only have to look at a veteran BMD class to see that the average age is no longer eight, and the number of dogs over 10 is negligible . If you lost one of the most precious things in your life at two and a half years of age would you go back to that same person again? I have said it before, and I will say it again..... I want to live till I am 12, be loved , healthy and pass away curled up in my own basket, but most of all I want those years to mean as much to the people that breed Bernese , as they do to me and my two legs.  I know that I am throwing the proverbial match in the fireworks, but it's about time somebody did!!!!  And now seems like as good a time as any other.  RUNNING RED  HOT Gryff

I just love the smell of Sundays....

Ok, ok, all you four legs out there know exactly what I mean...... The oven goes on, the joint goes in, the potatoes get roasted, Yorkshire pudding, is there anything better I ask myself. (And NO girls don't count fellas). Her indoors has officially declared it winter YIPPEEEEE ! That means Halloween casserole, hot veggie rice, roasted potatoes and all the goodies that we seem to loose a bit during the summer.  Now that they are forecasting seriously bad and blowy weather, her indoors has got out the winter cookbook for two legs and four legs and has already started. Today we have pork crackling on the menu ( no the TROLL  is not having it all, or our visitors!)  with roasties, carrots, parsnips, cauli and cabbage,  and and if we are really really good YORKSIRE puds.  But then again, I shall really miss all the BBQ sausage and stuff she does during the summer.  Then there will be Halloween casserole with pumpkin , sausage and all the bits for another day, although technically we should save that for after we have trick or treating. Do you remember last year Merlin went as a MUMMY (the Egyptian kind) . Now how does a mummy end up with lipstick kisses on its nose when it's supposed to scare everybody to death?  And now she's found a book on how to cook all different types of biscuits for us. Well actually we have to say thank you to Uncle  Mick and Aunty Jackie for it but who cares..... All I can say is I feel really really sorry for dogs that have to eat canned dog food. I suppose I had better go and find the three Moggies if the weather is going to be that bad..... But do I have to invite them to dinner? What do you think?  If they don't eat it all I could offer to finish it off, so they don't upset her indoors but they definately don't get yorkshires..... Yes they do, cause I know that they won't be able to eat all of it so I will get them. See all that fresh veg and stuff keeps the old grey cells working at their best. We will accidentally forget to mention that the two legs didn't alter the clocks last night so we went out an hour early and got to stay out longer. Perhaps a good thing if tonight's walk is doubtful. I tried on one of those airmanship leather flying hats last night, think I might need to borrow it, my old mate Dexter.... I hate it when the wind pins my ears back so I can't hear properly...(well that's my excuse LOL) .  Stay Safe everybody. Cool runnings Gryff

Sometimes I worry......

Www.the adventures of Gryff. ... You know as long as I live I don't think I will ever understand females. Take her indoors for instance. It's absolutely throwing it down and she wants us all out on a walk as normal. WHY? If it was snowing then yes but everybody knows us Berners don't like excess water. It just cramps our style when wanting to go in the sitting room or hop on a bed for a snooze. ( your bed that is)  And to make things worse, I got teamed up with Lace. If ever a female had to sniff every single blade of grass on our entire walk it's her. Then she has to say good morning (it's lashing it down and blowing a force 8by now) to the horses, all four of them on either side of the river. Silly mare (no pun intended) even had to lick the nose of her favourite. As if it wasn't wet enough in the first place.  The rains all in my fur making it go all curly and I REALLY really hate that! my ears are pinned to the sides of my face by the wind and I definately P@@@@@@d off. Just find me a bush, a post, a horses leg for all I care and I am ready to go home. But NO not her. She wants to know whose already been out, who lives with who, or is out walking together. Whether that pair of scratty westies that always swear at us are about...... As if anybody in their right paws would be out in this ! What is it with females.... It does make me worry.  Then when I eventually get home nearly an hour later I find Merlin went out wearing a coat! and is now getting the V I B ( very important Bernese) treatment complete with warm towel and the hair dryer. I bet they let him go through into the hall to his baggy basket thing! I knew it, I said they would. Talk about favouritism, he's only an old man for goodness sake. I tell you how bad it was, her indoors has got wet shoulders on her shirt where the rain went through her coat, and her jeans are wet to her knees. Well how does she think I feel...... My important  little bits hang about the same height as her knees, but did she think of me! No she darn well didn't!  That's it, I'm going on strike for better pay and dryer working conditions, and  I absolutely  refuse to go out with a female if it's raining again. I shall speak to the troll , I know he won't be out for more than five minutes, just long enough to find a bush, a tree or a gate post . Cool runnings Gryff

Carting crash causes chaos

Www.the adventures of Gryff..... Well after mixing it once again with the I pad imp... I am back again, again!. The little shit just won't give up. One day I can't get into safari, then it's the blogg and tomorrow I have no doubt it will be something else. Good job her indoors has got loads of friends who know how to deal with computers cluster f@@@@ ups!  Add to that the fact that I am in deep deep dodo over Merlins classic cart and you could say it's been one of those days! We got an invite to go out carting today, her indoors , me and Lace ( who in fairness has never been before). Me, well I've been out on a couple of double trouble runs with uncle Rob and Dexter, and I thought I had it sorted. Anyway off we went down this quiet lane and I decided that carting just wasn't my thing. I am handsome , good looking, cool and a babe magnet, so what do I need to cart for? It wasn't until she said that the girls always go for a guy with his own wheels that I decided to play properly! Anyway I did ok for a while and then I went for it big time. The end result was that I split the shafts where they join the cart turntable, bolts, pins and steel tube (where the hole is reinforced for the bolt) the lot. I knew her indoors was pretty ticked off with me when she said Merlin had used that cart for nearly nine years and apart from rolling it in the snow one year, he had never had an accident with it! Oooops!. Do you know what they made me do...... I had to ask him as I walked through the door if he was fully comp and had he got protected no claims? LIKE I can afford to pay for it! It was an accident (well nearly). Then to add insult to injury they put the harness on Lace together with the traces, carried by my old mate uncle Rob and she never even batted an eyelid.  She walked up and down with them like she'd done it all her life and I got left in the van to watch how a female drives. Talk about having the old bone shoot rubbed in it! Anyway Uncle Rob has kindly offered to try and mend the darn thing, JUST cause it's Merlins , to get brownie points with him , and I have been banned from Trick n treating..... Like I want to be wrapped up in bandages anyway!  Much rather be a dragon or a vampire bat than a Mummy anyway. Oh well I suppose I shall just have to suck it up... It's my birthday soon, perhaps if I ask for biscuits from everyone, I will be able to pay it off like that. Cool runnings Gryff

I hate I cloud......

Www.the adventures of Gryff..... Bet you were all wondering where I had got to! Well so had I!!! It's taken me one year and nine months to train my secretary on this gadget and then the @@@@@@ have to go and change it all without asking. I knew her indoors would panic when she saw everything was going to change with this I cloud thing and I thought she made a very sensible decision to not touch it till uncle Lawrence was about to pick up the pieces and glue her back together.  What I didn't bargain for was the troll interfering when my tail was turned. He just has to play, wouldn't mind but he has three computers of his own so why play with mine? Anyway yesterday I escorted her indoors up to the computer shop with the I pad, her I phone ( the two had had a row and weren't s peaking to each other anymore, or even for that matter agreeing on e mails coming in)  and sat there till it was all fixed. Then being a careful soul, we took them over to uncle Lawrence to get his considered opinion. Got to say the bloke in that shop is ok. She never looked like having a panic attack or getting upset and she even managed to say pardon and he repeated everything again without getting cross. What a difference to the troll trying to teach us. I keep telling him that her indoors is more dog than computer minded and that's why she knows what we are saying and he doesn't!  Anyway after an exchange of info on doggy diet, help for old age in a spotty dog, and how to calm down a labradoodle (sorry about the bad language)  we walked out the shop, as usual, free of charge. Who says the barter system is dead, complete with instructions to just "wander in anytime if there's a problem, and not to let the troll touch it!!!!! So folks I am back on the air so to speak. Having said that, life is really quiet at the mo. The kids are all having a monster of a time in their new homes. Merlin got an invite for another holiday last Sunday , tizzys gone off with her boyfriend, so that leaves me in charge of five dogs , three cats and a bad tempered troll.  Oh and a major hint here NANNY..... TED , Saxon and I will be having a party on the 2nd of November....... Cool runnings Gryff

Peace perfect peace.. And my paws hurt!

Www. The adventures of Gryff.  Well it's QUIET PEACEFUL and TOTALLY BORING.  It was THE  week this week. The week when the rug rats all left to go to their new homes . I kept telling her indoors they would all be fine.....they have the elite SBS (special Bernese Service) training to fall back on, covert ops, how to build bunkers, and for the girls, the Matahari flutter the eyelashes and look all sweet training. There isn't an owner out there of a Bernese pup that hasn't fallen for all the old tricks! The I AM STARVING! YOU HAVEN'T FED ME IN TWO HOURS AND THAT ROAST BEEF AND YORKSHIRE PUD SMELLS WONDERFULL look. The sitting in the kitchen with a front paw raised telling everyone that somebody has stepped on that darling little paw. The innocent look.... It couldn't possibly be me when somebody in the house has has an Andrex party, and you were the only puppy in the world that didn't get an invitation.  The HOLE! WHAT HOLE look ( but just remember to knock the mud off your paws before you go in side). Get my drift? As I said their training was of the highest degree. I know because I was taught by the best (thanks Merlin)  and I have handed the gift on.  Anyway her indoors  is now finding herself with a lot less to do, so she is currently running the paws off me and the two girls. All separate , down the river, along the hedge up to the road and across the railway lines, not once but Twice. When poor old Lace got dragged out, her indoors ended up carrying STRING all the way round too. We all knew she meant business because she dragged her old winter boots out of the shoe box. I personally have a theory about them.... Her indoors is a real shorty, but I reckon those boots give her a lift of about two inches and that way she can see over my head when we are walking. It's really weird, we go a few yards and she's taking off this big thick wooly thing cause she's hot, but she still wears those great big boots. She says its to stop her paws getting wet!, like that's a problem???? Oh well, between the three of us we should be able to slow her down, and if not we will just have to call in the reinforcements.... Freya and Merlin. Freya will bumble around in circles and get her dizzy and old Merlin will take so long sniffing and stuff she should loose track of time, and whittle he doesn't get worn out and bring him back.  Cool runnings Gryff

Eggs Bernerdict

Www, the adventures of Gryff.  Well the first pup is leaving today. They have been celebrating on and off all week, mainly I suspect because the cuisine has most definitely been improving. Gone is boring old pâté and toast, bring on Eggs Bernerdict straight from The Sav(al)oy!  (Really sorry but couldn't resist that one!) freshly scrambled free range eggs, covered with a layer of toast and pâté and seasoned with a gravy bone. And, AND. This  is their second breakfast of the day at 9am!  Do you know what the little terrors did?  Off went  my favourite bit the gravy bone, they wolfed the pâté then chased the eggs all around the place and finished with the biscuit. Just no manners some pups, didn't think to leave us any! And then last night they had meat , biscuits,  pasta, peas cauli and gravy...... I mean what can you complain about . (In fairness so did we, but that's so not the point!)   Anyway this afternoon Monty is leaving for his new home down south. ..... And the troll has been busy doing all the forms and the recipe book that will go with him. His bag is packed, rugs, toys extra food (for about a month! Anybody would think he's going to Siberia) never mind all the goodies toys baskets and kit he's moving in to!  Anyway I will put money on the troll blubbering when the little TIKE  turns and waves goodbye . Tizzy says she personally will be quite happy to say goodbye to all those little teeth, me, well ,  I will reserve judgement! AND I haven't quite finished their education. How will they know which shoes to chew, where to find the spare toilet rolls for a party?  And what about our record of making her indoors do the same washing three times in one day.... How will I know just how good teacher I am?  Just have to rely on updates and pictures...... Just wont be as good as teaching them myself. Oh well, perhaps there will be a next time. Cool runnings Gryff

St Trinians goes CO ED

Www. The adventures of Gryff.. Up till now the advanced schooling of all pups has been a strictly female thing... Until of course I arrived! (See rapidly inflating head) .  Up till this litter the girls have wiped the floor with us guys, but on this occaission  it's even Stevens so that's forced her indoors to change the rules and admit all the boys.   Needless to say that the most well known students from past years are the Kray twins who still carry on the proud traditions that school instilled within them. Anyway after designating the  utility room the new DOGS COMMON ROOM, (as in no girls)  us guys started planning various little windups and schemes that will all have to be played out before next weekend when school dissolves until the next litter. (Her indoors keeps telling us that she's had enough and she's retiring no more schools and she's taking up bank robbing or applying for a 007 job, both being easier than bringing us up) . Well as the new head boy (as opposed to the Senior Tutor/student liaison officer Merlin)  it's down to me to instigate, direct and control all pranks BUT at the moment I and the Krays are  banned to external sports only..... Can't tell you what we did until it goes up before the board of governors  but having a number of little items on the troll, we are sure that there will never be a united verdict so we will get away with it!  I could get used to this! Anyway  I just saw one of the little rug rats with a packet of biscuits heading for our new common room so I need to go and pull rank, after all I only have six days left till schools out. Oh while I remember, hope everyone is having a cool time at the garden party.... I booked us all a ride to go but the Krays said they needed the bus, something about the Bank Suisse and a load of paper being delivered????  Cool runnings Gryff

Are they too young?

Www. The adventures of Gryff.  It's amazing watching the pups, how fast they are growing. Cheeky little so&so's sit in front of the toaster every morning and now get the first slices of toast and pâté. I mean what exactly are they doing to go right to the front of the queue? Then this  morning after I have spent hours on a nicely rounded hole slap bang in the middle of the lawn,  I go wandering out to see two puppy butts sticking out of it and the little blighters  are passing comment on my work!  Then just as I think....aaaarrrhhhhh ... The boys want to join the family firm, I hear the little @@@@ saying they could do better and the sides aren't verticle. If it wasn't for the fact that they are my boys I would probably consider planting them at the bottom of it!  Her indoors said I should be grateful that they are taking after me and not the Kray twins.  Which  I suppose when I remember their more eccentric little plots is a very valid point. If they followed the Krays it would be me at the bottom of my hole with a skull and crossbones on top. Perhaps I can get the girls to follow Lace about for a while.... She's always got a tea towel (garrotte ) or a dustpan and brush (to remove evidence) in her mouth. They don't know her as well as I do so to them it would just look like domestic bliss. Yes now that's not a bad idea. And then there's the big broom they keep dragging around..... She could teach them how to sweep up as well as scattering biscuits every where. I keep telling the troll that blackmail won't work with the little rug rats .... I saw him giving them sausage rolls.OUR SAUSAGE ROLLS!! And Digestive biscuits. When they miss the newspaper he has a bit of a wobbly, and her indoors being really really annoying always asks him what he's given them to eat. Wish she'd ask me, I'd soon tell her!  Anyway it's time for lunch and us big dogs need to get to the front of the queue thee days. Cool runnings Gryff

A dog worth a £1......

Www. The adventures of Gryff..... Now I have always thought that her indoors is a pretty chilled out creature, especially when you remember that coming from Welsh extraction, the dragon scales and hot breath can pop up when she gets ticked off!  One of the things she always does when we go to a show or a canine event, is stop as we go in and she always says....I AM ARRIVING WITH THE BEST DOGS AND I SHALL BE LEAVING WITH THE BEST DOGS,  and we know she means it. She doesn't care who bred us, how much we cost, just how much she loves us and we love her.  Unfortunately over the last couple of weeks a number of people seem to have been pushing her buttons on this subject when it comes to the pups.  She has had one sentence e mails like HOW MUCH ARE YOUR PUPPIES I MIGHT CONSIDER  HAVING ONE, to chapter and verse and whole life histories. .... From those that have been waiting patiently in some cases months for a chance at owning a Bernese .   There is only one thing that her indoors has to say on this subject.... IF YOU ARE EVER LUCKY ENOUGH TO BE OWNED AND LOVED BY A BERNESE MOUNTAIN DOG....... YOUR DOG IS WORTH EXACTLY A £1.... £1 MORE THAN ANYBODY CAN EVER OFFER YOU. .... If you judge it's value by its price, then you shouldn't have one, because you don't understand the value of  unconditional love and having a Bernese in your life. For many it's been the loss of their wonderful dog that's brought home just how priceless they actually were.... And the need to have another one in their lives.  Value everyday you have your berner, each day is special and one day it will be the last, and you might not even know it.... Cool runnings Gryff

2014 Red Bull unveiled berner style

Www. The adventures of Gryff..... Anybody found any of those marbles yet, her indoors is definitely in need of them. I think she's lost the plot entirely ! She was out at one of the pet centres yesterday, I thought she needed a bit of a break so I stuffed her in the van and off we went. As usual her indoors hadn't got a clue what a Bernese needs in moments of stress, so we just took a wander around picking up this and that , things I thought were a good idea, or smelt good, until we got to the notice board. Personally I think it's the most boring section, but her indoors thinks its ok, so who am I to worry. Anyway by then half the girls who work there are fussing and feeding me. (What can I say, if you have it.... FLAUNT IT!) so anyway I just sat there looking all handsome and sophisticated. I still have my raffish look because the patch on my face hasn't quite healed yet, and I was getting all this sympathy when her indoors spoils it all by saying we had to go. ..... No consideration for me what so ever! Anyway out comes the old mobile and after a chat we go racing up the road to places I didn't even know existed. Her indoors had seen this advert for a new set of wheels. Now Merlin has the red car, the silver car has Teagues name on it, so logic says this one is going to be mine.... I am second senior dog in the place now, and as such I should be recognised! Right out into the middle of nowhere... Hat racks standing looking at us( those great big cows that wear hat racks and are all shaggy!) and there sitting in the drive is my new set of wheels. I was absolutely barkless! The damn thing was a dog buggy to take my pups out socialising!  Well she needn't think she's putting my name on the number plate. I won't be seen dead out with her and the pups. Just what does she think I am? I have street cred to consider.... Anyway she pays for it and off we go back home. First thing she does is google it £200 new and it's still got all the paper labels on it. Doesn't look as though its been out much at all. What a bargain she keeps saying. WHAT I WANT TO KNW IS WHEN DO I GET MY WHEELS. Not even a cart of my own, I have to ask to borrow Merlins!  I think I should take this further.. DVLA perhaps (Dog Vehicle Liciencing Assoc or CA (Carting Anonymous)  and it had better cost more than that  darn buggy.......Cool runnings Gryff

Going going GONE, anybody found her marbles yet?

Well it's official  her indoors has lost her marbles. This morning both of them slept through the two am alarm, then came rushing downstairs  at about three ,to four still sleeping pups, and then when they did eventually leave the ancestral troll pit, her indoors decided it was bath night. I mean... Bath night at 9am in the morning???? And then to prove that every single marble she ever had is now rolling around the countryside she managed to bath five dogs when there are only four pups in the first place. Poor Nell went in number one and number four due to a misunderstanding as to why her tummy was wet. Her indoors thought she was the last one in and had been lying in a puddle but the troll hadn't dried her tummy properly. OOOOPS!  Anyway as a say sorry they had biscuits soaked in bacon and tomatoe and have ordered their first proper Sunday lunch to celebrate their five week birthday. We are having mince,  boiled potatoes , broccoli , carrots and hopefully Yorkshire pud. Us big dogs just love Sundays and Theia being the good mum she is (and hoping to pass the catering to somebody else) told them exactly what to order, and then suggested they try Yogurt for afters. Add to that the Kray twins have been restructuring the garden again and you can imagine how happy the troll is! I keep telling them that you cannot hide the soil from one excavation by digging another and putting it in the second hole"... Because then you need a third hole to put the soil in from no2 hole!! Anyway who am I to argue with them.... It's Sunday and the parasol is up on the patio table so I am just going to wander out, take my place under the shade and chill.  Cool runnings Gryff

War of the worlds

Www. The adventures of Gryff.   Well the kids are growing up fit to bust these days. All of them have broken the 4 kg barrier with style. Dizzy Tizzy is now definitely struggling with the teeth they are all fitted with and doing her best to stay out of nibbles way. .... So enter semi solids and a little bit crunchy for most of the meals of the day. Got to say that they are cracking along nicely with the old potty training too. Mind you that's probably because there is paper most of the way across the kitchen floor all the time. Anyway this morning was W DAY! Out comes the old W jollop and her indoors calls the pups. I felt so sorry for them, they all came running(well as fast as their  little round butts will allow) thinking it was an extra meal. In they all piled to see the scales sitting on the kitchen floor. (The cooking scales became redundant days ago. Bits hanging out all over the place...totally useless!) have you ever seen one of those pile ups when  the first person stops dead in their tracks and everybody piles up  the back of them? Well that was the pups this morning . Legs and tails every where. Got to admit they did me proud though.... Bit like War of the Worlds.., if you are old enough to remember it. Lots of small creatures running around on the ground, while these bully's on long legs try catching them as everybody rushes round the kitchen. There was the Kray twins, me and Freya  all standing at the baby gate, barking and jumping up and down , cheering the puppy's on as they hid behind the pedal  bin, or the broom (still don't know why she always  parks it in the kitchen.... What's wrong with the drive ?)  or just gave them the run around! As you know I beat four Vetinary   staff up so to see the kids doing the same with the troll and co was AWESOME. ... And only five weeks old at that!  Anyway, eventually the poor little b@@@@rs ran out of steam, and got caught one by one. Out came the jollop and down their throats it went. There was pink stuff every where.... Think when they say how much to give, they  probably double the amount, divide by the amount of head shaking, take off the amount they end up wearing and hope the rest gets where it should be going.  All I now is those kids did me proud. Think it's time the old two legs had a bath, or at east a change of clothes.  It wasn't a fair match, but even so , it's worth the watching just for the laugh. Cool runnings Gryff

Puppy bath time.

Www.the adventures of Gryff... Well as you have probably gathered I am in the process of finding adoptive two legs for the pups.  The troll says her indoors makes them walk on hot coals to pass for consideration but Theia and ME, well I think we are worse. Two legs are funny creatures at the best of times, well we think so. Take this morning for instance. Normal 2am session chasing around sorting out the midnight feast,  then breakfast, then elevenses. Now her indoors decided that it was time the boys had a bath. Personally I see nothing wrong with a bit of rice pud or what ever in the fur. Just means that afters is catered for later on. Anyway, she wash dried and ironed the two boys and off they went to their rug and crashed. Meanwhile the Troll decides to do the elevenses to help out. Guess what..... Soggy rusk, puppy milk and scrambled egg.  I think if you asked me to put together a stickier, messier  more throw around kind of meal I would be hard put to beat it. Anyway in her indoors absence the bowls went down the pups woke up and chaos ensued! When she came back in the kitchen it was all over the cooker door, the pedal bin, the pups, ALL FOUR OF THEM,  the floor up the wall tiles.... Infact I would be hard put to tell you where it wasn't. Her face was a picture. The two lovely clean black dog pups were now punk rockers. Bits of fur were spiking up every where. It was on their ears , their backs, their tails. They were sticky , and Chinese boxing with gunged up paws.  Infact she had totally wasted her time with the old soap suds. Good old Troll, knew I could rely on him! So as usual it comes back to Theia and me to decide  who is a responsible  and acceptable ...... Where are those hot coals again??? Cool runnings Gryff

Andrex party pooper!

Www. The adventures of Gryff...   Well the pups are now four weeks old and growing fast. Theia is now of the opinion that they should feed themselves because they have teeth like killer sharks.. Merlin has started turning OFF his hearing aid because of the amount of noise they create but what worries me more is the liking they are all taking to the Kray twins. Talk about noses through the kiddie gate and kisses exchanged. Being a MERE FELLA I assumed that getting their noses nibbled would but the Kray twins off.... How wrong can u be?  The pups are now not prepared to stop in their high sided basket. They can't see any thing, they miss all the good bits, and why make a mess in there when you can do it on the kitchen floor , paddle through it and make an even bigger mess. To strengthen their case they have found that by bouncing on the side wall they can knock the toilet roll off and into them so they can play with it. Obviously a whelping box is not that large but it's still fun!  Anyway, they are currently spending more time in the kitchen causing chaos, with the big guns giving them all the backup that they don't actually need from the other side of the baby gate. I can only assume that Asti and Lace decided to show them how experts party with toilet tolls and not for the first time I might add!  In the downstairs washroom was a packet of toilet tolls... You know the really BIG bag with its own carrying handle. Anyway about four am the troll starts moaning from the confines of the little room that he can't find a replacement loo roll to go on the holder. ( I suppose we should be grateful there was enough there in the first place)  and her indoors was absolutely sure there was! Now normally I would call this a Mexican Standoff, but in view of the time and the fact that her indoors has got quite a nasty bite , I took pity on the old troll and went to look for myself.  Had to agree with him....NO TOILET ROLLS!  Now her indoors took this personally as she had unpacked the shopping and knew she had put the whole packet on the floor at the side of the cabinet. All of a sudden a deathly hush fell over the whole house, the troll looked at her , she looked at the troll , and they both raced out into the garden. ... Now being an intelligent kind of guy I headed in the opposite direction and with Freya and Ghostie the jelly GSD took refuge in Ghosties crate.... Thank goodness he always leaves the door open. You got it.... The original Andrex party ,in the garden, done to a standard that would make the Weasley Twins MEGA PROUD. Shame is was still dark, and my suggestion of a few photos  fell on deaf ears. It did look cool! Since then, all toilet rolls are now on window sills or tables not that this will stop the Krays.  As this is their third? paper party I think it's time they thought of a new theme.... What might be a problem is them discussing it with my progeny.... Makes me feel a little sorry for the prospective new parents. Of well, only time will tell. Cool runnings Gryy

The Kray twins practise their skills...

For as long as her indoors and the Troll have had dogs, there has always been a couple of rules.
1) the dog always comes home and 2) there is a visible tribute in the garden which can be seen from the kitchen window. In the past there have been bird tables, water features, statues, carved wood, but ALWAYS ALWAYS something. Now over the last few weeks the back door from our room to the garden has been left open so we have kitchen, utility, dog room and garden and generally speaking his has worked very well for us. .... And we know what we can touch and what to avoid peeing on! Us boys that is! Now the Kray twins are now sixteen months old? And totally committed to their careers in burglary, demolition and general chaos to the extent that we sometimes have to avoid being in the same place at the same time as them. There have been several cases of disappearing food like the Cornish pastie the other day. Bag was still on the table in the exact same place, EMPTY! There was the time when the puppy's rice pudding was cooling on the table with a plate over the top of it, and the plate had accidentally slipped to one side! In fairness I blame Freya, I mean she was the one that gave them bird chasing, and I of course am not related to them so it CAN'T BE MY FAULT? Anyway this morning, her indoors went outdoors to scenes of mass destruction. One of the water features electric cable was in numerous sections all over what was left of the patio. Now give the troll his due, when he does something it usually stays done but not this time. The Krays had obviously decided to practise their burglar alarm dis arming skills and had dug up the shingle and pulled the cable out from under the slabs, indeed even moving some of them, and in true burglar style had left the garden police to sort out the mess! Think its fair to say they now are on the run..... But I don't think it's going to do them any good what so ever. As her indoors said...DO U WANT THE GOOD NEWS OR THE BAD NEWS?  The good news is we still have all the dogs... The bad news is UNTIL I GET MY HANDS ON THEM!!!!! Cool runnings Gryff

Summers past....

You know last Thursday her indoors said to me that summer had just about finished and I looked at her wagged my tail, and thought.....YEH YEH YEH. ....but getting up this morning I think she may be right. Thursday where we are was hot but overcast which made it a bit uncomfortable for us fur balls. ( having said that the troll was doing a bit of moaning)  Friday it rained and I mean it rained with lightening. Us smart pooches never gave it a thought... Thunder doesn't frighten us, we are all brave even the pups, and then Saturday morning it poured again. I saw her indoors looking at the big tree in our front, and she said the leaves had started to turn , what ever that means. Rather hoping for loads of little bone biscuits like our tree at Christmas. The size of it we should have enough to last till the one after next and if its turning it might aswell turn into something nice!  Knew the old witch would do something useful one day! Anyway when I got up on puppy watch about twoish it had gone really nippy and now at six, I can't see the kennels across the road. I suppose some might say that's a bargin cause there's a couple of Terriors across there that don't know how to keep their bone shoots shut at the best of times.  Standing here on the door step (the trolls having a managers meeting.... Having a fag!!)  I can see the ends of the leaves are going red....ok smart arse , us dogs can see reds and blues and yellows you know... I think the old boots definitely right.  That means I have missed every berner event this year for various reasons. All the party's , bbq's, the carting, the Cheer leading everything. Can't even go to the garden party because she won't take us because of the pups BORING!  The only thing that's left is a young lady who wants to have a go at carting..... Even that had a down side because her  indoors says she's related to me so I have to be on my best behaviour or Merlin will get the job. He might get the job anyway at this rate... You know I look a bit like Captain Jack Griffinpaw, well exactly twelve months ago at a show I put my paw down a hole and pulled it. This Sunday afternoon I did exactly the same again.... While the showing was going on in fact. The only difference is I was racing around the garden this time. So now I have a wooden leg to go with the pirate look. Where's a fancy dress competition when u need one? Would have won paws down. Sniff sniff....TOAST?? Guess its time for breakfast... Cool runnings Gryff

Ebony shampoo

Ok... No more laughing, the dog shampoo was black both in the bottle and on the dog!  As I have told you before. Our Theia keeps getting all these new mummy presents.. This week it was some slices of fresh ham the same size as a dinner plate and some girly bits.. Brushes and shampoo... And the shampoo was BLACK. It said on the bottle "to enhance the shine on black coated dogs".  She looked at me and I looked at her, and we both managed to keep our bone shoots shut and bark nothing. The last time I looked in the mirror, which is quite frequently in my case ( even the glass oven doors work)  I would have said we were tri coloured including the opposite colour to black.. WHITE! Anyway her indoors says that manners cost nothing so a paw was given and the matter left there. That was until this morning.  I heard her indoors go into the bathroom and set the taps running and I just knew it wasn't for her.... Luckily it wasn't for me either . PAW OLD THEIA, bath time again. It's got  to be at least the third of forth time in as many weeks. ... And that's when the black shampoo came out. I told her that all her white bits would go grey and I just didn't know what would happen to the chestnut bits.... But away they all went. Bubbles and splashing up the walls all in greys and blacks but her bubbles on her coat were going white. When it came to rinsing her out the water was nearly black but all her white bits we still white. .... And in fairness after she was dry and had another brush just to put her parting straight and her ears dried straight ( her ears go all curly when they get wet)  I have to say I was well impressed. Her coat is shiney and soft and you wouldn't know she had just become a yummy mummy.  I happen to know that there's about half a bottle left so tomorrow morning I am going to stand next to the bath and see if I can get them to wash me. Nothing like a big strong handsome fella like me all scrubbed up clean for attracting totty. Cool runnings Gryff

Just so proud...

Www. The adventures of Gryff.     Well I am, so very proud of the puppy's. Theia has decided that two and a half weeks of puppy sitting is very boring and after the two boys started paying more attention to what was in her food bowl rather than where was the milk bar she is now taking voluntary redundancy. In truth she's been bunking off for the last few days , but being a fella there wasn't much I could do about it.... But now I am in charge! Yesterday  I dragged her indoors down to a large local pet shop, to replenish our supplies, including the extra specials for the pups. Her indoors is dead fussy about what we eat. She says YOU ARE WHAT U EAT especially when you are little and growing at a phenomenal rate... So hunt the best food is a game we play on a regular basis. Our normal diet is one third meat one third veg and one third a food based entirely on fish (not cheap but yummy) and its home cooked. And this of course means that we get something different every day. My personal favourites are all Italien cause I love pasta but Freya likes Chinese with all the veggie rice etc.  Anyway yesterday it was decided that a squidged up bowl of  meat would be tried by my boys  with no great expectancy of it being eaten.... How wrong can u be! All four pups decided to play coat the puppy next door to you, and then having discovered how good it tasted, promptly spent the next ten minutes trying to get it all back. So Theia.... Looks like the milk bars lease is set to expire!  Just remember if you are going away this weekend to have a brill time, and spare a thought for me running around chivvying up the cook and making sure all meals are on time and suitable for the occaission ! Wonder if I can get her to cook a bit extra for me? Cool runnings Gryff

A wander down memory lane

Www. The adventures of Gryff.... This being a dad thing is a lot of pressure you know. Yes before you start I know that it's the bitch of the establishment that's in charge, but I always do my best to be there. It's like tonight,there's her indoors sitting with me as back up on puppy watch.  Don't get me wrong I really appreciate her being there but some of the story's she tells the pups makes my fur curl.(and that's pretty hard to do as I have been practising SELF EXPRESSION with the use of wall paint most of which I am wearing). She can go back generations to her first Bernese Teague. From all accounts he was one of those dogs that once seen never forgotten. How they went to his first show ever and stood there totally lost, until a lady called Di and her husband took pity on them. (Thanku Di from all those years ago) How he went on to do really well and went to places like Windsor Castle and qualified for Crufts. How he was trained in canine espionage.... Five staff and he could still sneak away unseen to Sainsburys or what was then Woolworths.  How she and Mac Dog got pulled over in the van when the police were checking for red diesel.  How he sat there in the passenger seat grumbling at the policeman until he gave back all the documents..... And the policeman suddenly laughed and said....CAN'T EVEN GET YOU FOR SEATBELTS CAN I! And let them go. How, and you mustn't tell uncle rob this, when she hears an old motorbike coming, she always thinks of Merlin and his. The fact that it belongs to Uncle Rob seems to be totally irrelevant ! How Merlin has this knack with the two leg ladies and seems to get invited to all the posh places with the best menus and masseuse in the area. And then of course there are the ladies of the establishment. Freya with her great big brown eyes and shy act. How she puts Matahari to shame by batting those long eyelashes and being so totally 'a lady' that all the blokes fall for her and she gets what ever she wants from them. I remember the time she...oooops better not, little ears and all that.! Funny with Dizzy Tizzy being their mum she won't talk about her to them. It's either that or HRH has never got into trouble and I really don't think that's true. SO WHY DOES SHE HAVE TO TELL THEM ALL ABOUT MY MINOR UPSETS? That's not fair is it? I soon got her onto the subject of the Kray twins. She would  be able to go on forever about those two.  Funny when she's talking about past times I can never tell if she's going to laugh or cry about them. She showed me a picture of Teague riding around in the back seat of a BMW on the way back from MacDonalds with burgers for everyone and it made her cry... He was the  bees knees in a smart motor and everybody loved him. She was looking at the rosettes from the 40th anniversary bash, long long before I was about, and she goes all quiet. But they all had a great day so why?  Then there's great great uncle Finnigan. I know he was a rescue St Bernard with special needs and he only lived till he was three..... But what a time he had living here. So much better than where he was born, or living in a metal run till the court case got done when he was seven months old. She was telling us how he smelt terrible when she picked him up and how all the girls  got together and bathed him outside the back door of the shop. How they taught him to play with toys, and about the day he ran off (well as best as he was able to run)  after a deer. Like that was ever going to work!  How he was there when they went to bed and gone when they got up. He was home,  he was loved, and there is nowhere he would rather have been. So be happy for all the good bits.  You know ....you two legs are definately GLASS HALF EMPTY CREATURES but us Berners are more the half full kind. If you love us (and feed us) that's all we need from you.... We will always be there for you, so remember to smile and laugh. Even the things you think are bad will have happened for a reason..... And WE SHARED THEM so that makes them only a memory..... Cool runnings Gryff

I told you so....

Www. The adventures of Gryff.
I told you so.... I said not to wind her indoors up any more cause she won't take any prisoners and what do they do? Just about everything they can to guarantee a mass grounding, removal of all privileges and the sealing of the biscuit barrel add infinitum. Not even Merlin has got away with being a cantankerous old coot! Got to admit the two piles or ironed washing on the utility work surface was something that even I wouldn't have done in my puppy days. That was bordering on insanity in my opinion.... But that's the Kray twins for you. As a senior sane peace loving mega creeping Bernese , my advice is never EVER have two pups together unless  you can keep them apart at times. What one thinks of the other one does and vice versa. Individually well mannered etc, put them together and the SAS had better look out!  It wouldn't have been so bad but AFTER BATHING HRH because she went walkabout at 2am, they pulled all the bath towels off the line, so one half of the washing had already been washed twice before it got folded and put on the work surface anyway. Oh well third time lucky, but her indoors took it personally. ......  Then she got a text from a friend saying he was joining then for a late lunch, and for love nor money could she find the sausages she knew she had  got out the freezer..... Well only the wrapping, so instead everybody had a mixed grill with chips rather than a BBQ. I mean think about it girls..... We always get BBQ and we lost out totally this time. .... And I think today is just going to be a continuation, judging by the way she bathed my face and FORCE FED me my tablet. Ok I haven't suddenly gone off cheese... But why should I make her life easy? Mind I won't do it again! Do you know what she did? She bit me!!!! First of all I knew it was in my toast, bloody great big PINK PILL. Then she wrapped it in cheese.... STILL A BIG PINK PILL... So I ate the cheese of course, then she rolled it in Roule which I adore, and I licked it off and then she tried to pry my jaws open and choke me to death by putting it down my throat. STILL A BIG PINK PILL. Anyway I didn't mean to but..... I caught her fingers. With that she said a very rude, very un-Bernese word and bit the end of my nose . I was so shocked, my bottom jaw hit the floor (figuratively speaking) and before i knew it she had  thrown the pill in just like a grenade and held my mouth shut till I had swallowed it. Gives a new meaning to the word bitch if you ask me.....AND she says she's going to put ne of those stupid plastic collars on me if needs be. Well she's got to catch me first is all I can say, AND DON'T YOU ALL DARE SIDE WITH HER AND TELL ME IT'S TO MAKE ME BETTER....... Puddlefart it is! Oh and just to make her day. One of the cats has fallen in the river and has come home stinky and covered in seeds and gunge. Wash that one baby!!!!! Oooops she heard me, time to disappear . Cool runnings Gryff

Tizzy does a runner...

Www.the adventures of Gryff... Well as you all know our establishment has puppy's, very young puppy's, at the moment. And iron rules of NO INFECTIONS are in place.  Can't remember the last time I saw all my old mates on the dog walk ( well I did have two weeks sabbatical with nanny before the pups arrived) . What with the time and my new Captain Jack Gryffinpaw look they just won't recognise me.  As for the rest of the dogs they are in much the same muddy paw print. ( this also means no carting bashes or Roade this year).  I mean I understand totally, they are my pups and I want to keep them safe, BUT GUESS WHO DID A 2am runner........... You got it, HRH Tizzy golightly.! While its been so warm and because we live in a very quiet place with absolutely no traffic, our Tizzy has been allowed the front door open, with front garden facilities during the overnight puppy watching shifts. What normally happens is that both two legs are awake during the swop over, beds are changed, tizzy gets one of her extra meals and then goes outdoors with a troll as escort ( you just don't know what you will find in a garden these days) or maybe her indoors. Usually she's doing baby poo patrol (lovely job) so it's the troll who goes out, and of course we won't mention the cigarette because her indoors would only go bonkers . Not because of the troll, but because she doesn't believe we should secondary smoke. Got to say she plays fair though...... When she gets the chocolate out she never does it in front of us  or we get biscuits while she eats hers. Guess there's no such thing as a perfect two legs.... WHAT DOES YOURS DO THAT'S NAUGHTY? Anyway the old troll was a bit slow on the old eight toes, and by the time her indoors said WHERE'S TIZZY she had legged it. Thought the old trout was going to hit him with her broomstick. He stood there all silly and burbly, going a bit blue around the gills and then rushed out the front door. Now why do you two legs keep changing your fur... I could have gone straight out in the street, but you lot have to go and get dressed. Her indoors went out in the garden calling Tizzy (sorry neighbours. I tried to tell her not to shout so loud) while others were looking for their four toed socks.  Anyway after about a lifetime, her indoors sees Tizzy trotting down the path coming back from the wooded area behind us. (We have a back gate that goes straight out to it, but her indoors always walks us up the road because she says it looks after our nails and keeps them short) . She's only seen fit to raise a single paw to the house rules and gone off on her own, ........FOR THE FIRST AND PROBABLY THE ONLY TIME IT WILL EVER HAPPEN in her lifetime.  Anyway her indoors suggested very  strongly that the troll remain upstairs .... His chances of survival being very low if he showed his warty old face before mid-day while she carried on washing and doing.  AND HRH is now semi grounded and while retaining her faculties will have to wear one of those extending leads that Ghostie always uses. Wonder who's going to ask him?  Add to that I am keeping very quiet because my tablets due shortly and I know CATAGORICALLY  that the mood she's in she won't take any prisoners  I need to creep away to somewhere I can't be found easily..... What that saying, TALK TO THE PAW BECAUSE THE REST AIN'T LISTENING!!!!!! Cool runnings Gryff

Guess who's a HOT SPOT?

You guessed it, I'm still in the wars...... Came back from my absolutely wonderful holiday with nanny  with a sore patch on my face it got nearly better and then Friday morning when her indoors got up she went off on one and booked me in at our own vets ASAP. Kept telling her I was fine but would she have it? NO, she had to go and ring K999! I hate that place, boring to say the least and the nurses all come up and ask u how you are? If I was fine I wouldn't be there would I! Haven't you grown, aren't you handsome, bet he won't fit on a table now! WHAT DO THEY THINK I AM? ONE OF THOSE LAP DOG THINGS? yes I've grown, the last time I saw them I was about 4 months old!! I know I am handsome...all Bernese are (except the girls of course) and as for the table  by the time she'd patted it twice I was standing on it looking DOWN at the  vet....( what's that dominance rule! The two legs should  aways be taller than the dog or some such?)  Last time I took on four staff and beat them so this one wasn't even going to get the chance.... Then she fed me a treat, and then another, gave me a fuss and told me to get off her table before its legs bent! cheeky mare!! There I was all geared up and she wouldn't play. The Troll got all upset last time because the vet told him I behaved better for her indoors than him. .... AND?  Her indoors and me have an understanding..... Anyway more pills, more cream, more bathing with hot salt water etc... What I need is my own private nurse, and I know exactly where to find one. A few weeks ago on our page I saw a picture of a st Bernard in a nurses outfit. Think she was at a big do, because she was standing  with a two legs nurse. She had this white bib on with a Red Cross of bones on it and she looked smoking..... Now if I could get a nurse like her I wouldn't mind being ill. And what do I have...her indoors..... With comments like "stand still u little so and so'" and "ok now you've taken the cheese off it you can eat the tablet" . I mean how sympathetic is that? AND she goes off on one if I even think about having a good scratch.  So if there are any sexy nurses out there, with any helpful ideas on how to deal with a hot spot, I am open to all suggestions. Any and all sympathy will be gratefully accepted , oh and the nurse can't be too expensive cause I sent all my bone and biscuit allowance at the vets. Cool runnings Gryff

Ataxic giraffes....

Ok who knows what I mean???? Well the troll says our Asti is an ataxic giraffe... Which is really mean of him. Just because she has absolutely no coordination , and has atleast ten legs when she's trying to get upstairs doesn't mean she's a giraffe.  Got to say in fairness though, that she can get every single leg on a different step at the same time.... So I think she would make a brilliant street dancer. Asti is the larger of the Kray twins and her legs go all the way up to her bum. ( the troll says on two legs that's a good thing) . Not sure it's so good in a Bernese though? As for stairs well we don't get that much practise , not indoors anyway. More used to up and down the river banks. And as for a giraffe, well I got her indoors to bring up a picture on the I pad and it doesn't look anything like Asti.  Ok it's got long legs and a tail, but it's neck is way way longer than Astis, and she certainly doesn't have those little horny things on her head. Actually she has some little pointy ones that pop up every now and then when she s playing with her sissy, or beating up a cuddly toy. Anyway I have decided that the next time the troll starts calling names, I am going to bite his butt! Just a little nip with the old front teeth to remind him he's being rude.  Anyway all this puppy sitting I desperately need a bit of kip.. Bit more of a hectic lifestyle than at Nannys..... Miss you Nanny. Cool runnings Gryff

I'm home dear.....

Well guess who finally made it home yesterday. There I was expecting this huge welcome for the conquering hero, and all I get is cuddles and DO U WANT TO GO ON THE GARDEN? Where's the band and the fireworks. I've been away two whole weeks, none of us have ever been allowed to stay away that long before. That makes me special! It means I am well  behaved, obedient, have excellent manners, don't tramp mud around everywhere and KNOW EXACTLY WHICH BUTTONS TO PUSH TO GET AWAY WITH MURDER!!!. Clever little bugger aren't I! Especially liked the one .... He wouldn't eat out of his bowl, he really didn't like it so we gave him one of ours. I have had my bowl since I was ten weeks? old. It's one of those ERGODYNAMIC things. (Shaped so it makes you eat in a responsible and controlled manner that is better for the digestions and reduces the risk of Torsion)  Yeh Like! What it really means is I can't pick the best bits out and leave the boring bits. Anyway, I soon got it swopped at nannys and did just that. She said I didn't seem to eat very well, just the nibbly bits ! Reckon that's two for two then, four vets staff on the floor in one go, and eating only the nibbly bits. CANINES RULE OK!  Honestly, I had a brill time and can't wait to go again... Just can't tell her indoors especially as I only  just made it back. I can see why Merlin loves his holidays....  All that was missing was the sea, and I can always talk her indoors into that when the pups are bigger. AND there's another thing, I thought Tizzy would be happier to see me but she's ignoring me! Ok get on with it, but I think the pups are cracking.... And she's doing a good job of looking after them. Heaven help a cat if it try's to walk by her basket... Cat mince! Anyway about time I took five and had a snooze. Wonder what's for tea......... Cool runnings Gryff

Death of a Saggy Baggy thing!

You can tell I am away from home. Sounds like the Kray twins are running wild. Just you wait you little @@@@@@ . I'll more than dust your fur for you come Saturday.....!!!  Theia decided that she was most comfortable in Merlins Saggy Baggy thing when it came to having her pups, and nothing and nobody could change her mind. Didn't matter she had this proper large whelping pot just for her. Oh no it had to be the saggy baggy thing.  Now Merlins had it quite a few years and when it arrived in the sale I know it was half price at about £70, and destined to be a doggy heirloom. (Which means of course that one day I would inherit it!)  Anyway after the arrival of the pups the washable bits were washed and the big padded sides were scrubbed and scrubbed and left outside on the bench in the sun to dry. Basically it was too heavy being water logged to go upstairs and into the bath for a good long soak and be properly washed. Even one of those shop washer things was considered but it was the sheer weight that meant it was hard to move. Anyway yesterday it rained and instead of drying it got even heavier.... And was left on the bench for another night. Anyway this morning when it was shift change about 1.30am the troll stood there all ashamed and blushing. He had left the Kray twins outdoors FOR ONLY A FEW MINUTES HONESTLY!!! And they had totally demolished the saggy baggy thing and had a total foam tossing party everywhere .... In the bushes, down the path, all over the dog room, it looked like a blizzard had hit. Her indoors went potty! DO U KNOW WHAT HAPPENS TO DOGS THAT SWALLOW FOAM?   CAN'T LEAVE YOU ALONE FOR FIVE MINUTES?   LOOK AT THE MESS add infinitum.( well she only got about eight  hours sleep from Saturday night to date, so to say she's a bit cranky is probably an understatement ) anyway out came the dustpan and various brushes and the worst was tided up. BUT if you remember I said the cushion was taken out and washed separately.  This morning, our head sir dog decides he wants his saggy baggy thing back...... So her indoors puts the cushioning back in the cover and puts it down where it should be. Merlins face was a picture.....YOU CAN'T BE SERIOUS! I WANT MY SAGGY BAGGY THING!  Passes wind very loudly and stomps off in a major paddy. Need I say more..... Guess everybody is on short rations till another saggy baggy thing is found (if they still make them) and most especially the Kray twins. Cool runnings Gryff

Who let the pups out..........

Well uncle Rob.... You let the proverbial pups out the bag!!! Yes, I am pleased to announce the safe arrival of four pups over Sunday evening and into Monday morning. Two little fellas and two pretty females, from Theia and myself . Don't I just make a cool dad and Tizzy is an absolutely brilliant mum, especially as this is her first litter. I would also like to congratulate the Dolyhir Clan on their great news.  Normally I would have waited a little longer to tell you all, especially as I am away from home at the moment on duty else where..... Don't know quite what the kids will think when I get home at the weekend looking like Captain Jack Sparrow or Scarface Malone. I shall just tell them it's part of the job, and that I enjoyed beating up four Vetenary staff on behalf of all canines! I was looking forward to a few long lie ins,,,,,, a bit like you in your wheel barrow Uncle Rob (did u see the  picture.... So funny.... ( go look at Rob Yarkers page... Beaten up by a four month old berner pup and a gorgeous St Bernard... Brilliant) guess that's not going to happen is it? Never mind I will catch up later. Got to say I have had a brilliant time away and a big big thank you for all the spoiling cuddles and treats I have managed to accumulate. Literally home from home including the "HER INDOORS). If I didn't know better I would say the two ladies were related the way they look after us Berners. Grandads pretty cool too, especially on our guys only walks. Oh well think its time I put my head down. It's a good job the clock was never set on this blogg, you don't want to know what time it really is just now. Cool runnings Gryff

In the wars...

Well I suppose you have all heard what I have been up to thanks to my nanny....  I mean she had to tell everybody! Why do they do that to us.... I mean where's my street cred now? Taking me to the vets was bad enough, and I apologise to the FOUR members of staff that couldn't hang on to me (yeh like!!!) but to slip me a Micky Finn was a bit naughty!  At least my stripe makes me look kinda mean and streetwise. Move over Johnny Depp, I want to be Tonto with my Mohican fur cut. I say it was a bad scratch that went funny because I have been working so hard, not that Eczma thing... I at least expected a bit of sympathy from her indoors but she just laughed and thanked nanny for looking after me so well.  Well if all in dog wresting is her idea of fun, then bring it on baby.... Looking forward to her taking me next time, I'll show her. May be if I get one of those three cornered pirate hats and a scarf thing to go underneath it, I can cover most o f it up and just leave the bottom bit showing just like Jack Sparrow.  I remember when Merlin got a Haematoma in his ear and they were talking about putting buttons and stitches in it, how cool it all sounded but her indoors wouldn't have it. Said he was too handsome  to even consider it!!! Ok so where does that leave me??  A bit of rough or plain not handsome I suppose. Guess I can give the mirrors a miss for a while. Just ignore me folks , it's that Micky Finn barking, I will be fine possibly, eventually, sometime, perhaps!!!! In the meantime I shall play to the crowd and have them all eating out of my paw....especially when it comes to those HUGE MASSIVE pills I am supposed to take. Cheese Pâté or Sausage, only way ladies! Get used to it! Cool runnings Captain Jack Gryffinpaw

Sniffy walks, wandering walks, BORING walks....

I suppose to all you two legs, a walk is just that, a walk. But do you ever stop to consider what a walk is to us? You automatically assume that we always want to go out and would  enjoy it where ever you take us... But it's simply not true. To poor old jelly dog, a walk on his own with the troll is positively SCAREY . He just doesn't know what's hiding behind all the bushes, or around the corner. Every blackbird or thrush flying in low could be closely related to THE BIRDS. ( don't tell me you haven't seen that film because I don't believe you) . If Merlin or Freya go with him, it's only half as SCAREY because they have a calming influence, but if they go off and talk to another dog, he has a total meltdown. To every other dog owner he is gobby and a gsd. To us he is a stressed out nervous wreck, and no matter what anybody does except give him happy pills nothing is going to change him.  Me, well I used to love RUN LIKE A MAD THING Walks, but her indoors has stopped them because she says its too hot, so now I have sniffy walks. Take my time, shove my nose in everywhere and enjoy myself. It's amazing what you can learn even after its poured with rain. Lacey is a hearing walker..... Every little noise s picked up on the old bat bugs and the head flies round till she clocks what's going on. If she's not happy she will have a little bark. Odd since Asti is our official BARKER and GATEKEEPER. Asti, well she couldn't walk in a straight line if the last bone in the world depended on it. Her indoors says she was the hardest to teach to walk to heel because you were never sure whose heel she would choose! And old Grumpy Grandad (Merlin) , he just does his own thing. A wander here, a sniff there, hello sexy to the golden lab. Can't remember the last time he went on a lead unless theres traffic about. Bit deaf, lost a bit of the old eyesight but again, there's not a lot the old so and so misses...... And then of course there's the TRAINING walk. NO COMMENT is the best description for that, or A GOOD WALK SPOILT ( that's what her indoors says about the trolls Golf!) Anyway what's your favourite, the beach, the woods, big rolling fields you can run for miles in, or the trip to school where you get all the fuss in the world.? Cool runnings Gryff

Lovely Sundays

I just love Sundays. A long lie in, a trot around the fields, cooked breakfast and back to bed with the news papers. Nothing like a gentle snooze in the shade when you are chilled out and full. One thing I have noticed being at Nans is the different type of Sunday papers available to me. Normally is things like The Observer and The Bones weekly, the Paws Express,  with all their special features. How to stay cool on the hottest day of the year.... Best biscuits on the market.... To vaccinate or NOT to vaccinate. You know, all the important bits. Add to that the show results and general doggy gossip and I am occupied for hours. Well at least until her indoors starts lighting the BBQ.  Here at Nans it's all girly stuff. Things like Fabulous  Fur, Fake Furballs, Sexy Setters, Sunday Paws with all the fancy pictures. Things like whose been seen out with who and whose expecting whose puppy's. All the scandal and gossip going.... Glad I haven't seen any reporters peepin over the fence. Mind you some of the pictures of fur babes in their paddling pools look good..... COOL! I think it's because the females out number me and Grandad five to one. Poor grandad, bet he's really glad I'm here to look after him for a while!. Anyway, it's time for elevenses, especially as me and grandad did a bit of bonding over a nice road walk for a change this morning. Talk to you later .....Cool runnings Gryff

Asti applies to Bark-A-Lona

Now our Asti has always been nuts about BALLS (the round bouncing variety) while the Troll is Barkalona potty. Put the two together and it will always add up to trouble. He had to go and open his great big bone shoot and tell her all about the football schools that exist and that was it. Nothing will do but Barkalona! After months of practise in the garden, the Troll told her he thought now was the time. Between the two of them they have everything sorted.... Transport to Spain , how to find the stadium (complete with map) , accommodation , shirt number (666) on blue and grape, with the name Nasti or E Vil to help frighten the opposition . Next thing you know they will be discussing managers fees, transfer fees, and whose going to supply her boots. Now there we have a slight problem.... One sponsor or two, front or back paws or left and right. Got to say Asti is very definately left pawed..... So that's got to be the main sponsor. Then there's all the grooming kit, and the fur fluffing that goes on...... AND DOES SHE HAVE TO SHARE THE CHANGING ROOMS? Got to say there can't be many footballers as quick or as agile as she is. ..... Think there's a lot of sorting out to be done. Think when I get home (been offered extra days at nannys hip hip horray)  I had better put my best ideas forward and see what's in it for the rest of us. Cool runnings Gryff

Curls or no curls.....

Just because I am on holiday at my nans, doesn't mean I don't know what's going on in my absence!! I know that MY TOAST AND PÂTÉ is still being done every morning and I am not getting it!! (Just don't tell them that nannys doing me two slices every morning. Took my own pâté you see)  I know that Theia is getting two slices AND on top of that she's swopping Ghostie's toast for some  gravy bones. There you see.... Not thick as you thought am I? BUT she won't eat the crusts. Now that I think is her  indoors fault . I think she told  her to eat her crusts to make her fur curly. Now what berner mum to be would want curly puppy's that could look like back poodles. Anyway, I had better make the most of the next few days because it will soon be time to go home. Will talk later...Cool runnings Gryff

Indiana Bones

The more I see of Merlin and the things he gets up to.... The more I want to be like him. All his life he's been right at the front of every bodies world. Nearly nine years as a shop front dog, and twice in that time he was the guy who backed a drunk customer out the door because they were giving the girls agro. He carts, he rides around in a motorbike and side car. He goes off to re enactments... Talks to horses and cattle with hat racks on their heads that must be three feet across. And females... Well what ever it is that gets the girls, he's got a double dose of.  Give him a motor of any size and he looks super cool just sitting in it. He's been out in a boat, climbed cliff paths that mountain goats would struggle with. He's been a clay pigeon shooting club mascot, strutted his stuff for charity a dozen times, and on every occaission he's been a perfect gentleman. He is handsome as hell, and his manners are nearly perfect. And , and he ended up on a Bernese Calender as the December pin up. Well at least I can say I have matched that, but I think it was because I was still a cuddly puppy when the pictures were taken, the rest I guess I am going  to have to keep trying at. If I turn out half as cool and laid back  as Indiana Bones then I shall be well happy. Cool running Gryff

She tried to blame me....

She did , she tried to blame me. Wouldn't be so bad but I was totally innocent. Me and the guys all love fresh carrots as a treat. Nothing like a good old crunch down the bottom of the garden. Anyway, her indoors usually just passes them out but this morning she decides to give us a second one for later on. There she was on the doorstep throwing them down to us so we didn't have to get up and she suddenly throws one over her shoulder and it lands on the conservatory roof. Soft old trout! She knows that sometimes her hands don't work right....... How's she going to get that off there now. We got the brush out but she's way too short, not a step ladder to be had, so she called for the trolls assistance. (Now that in itself tells you how stressed she was) . But no even he couldn't reach it. AND THAT'S WHEN SHE SAID IT WAS MY CARROT  SO IT WAS MY FAULT. Cheeky mare, how dare she?  Well I mean.... I was just stocking up before I go on holiday. I might not get another helping of carrot for days. Not sure nanny knows they are one of my favourites.  Typical of two legs blaming us canines, when all the time it's them not making clear what they want from us or expecting us to mind read.  It's only a silly old carrot anyway, bet the birds finish it off.... Oh well time for bed, exciting day tomorrow. Cool runnings Gryff

Guess who's going on holiday?

Yes Me.... Not Merlin in his motorbike, not Freya to stop with uncle Mike and Aunty Kath, not either of the Kray twins but Me Me Me!  I got my own personal invitation, ( well e mail) from my nanny, and she's coming to fetch me on Sunday evening. I should think so too..... I told her how hard I am being made to work, painting and decorating, and she's taken pity on me and says I need to party a bit to give me a boost. ( didn't  like to spoil her opinion of me, but Tizzy and I partied a little while ago, and she's in pup now!) . She thinks I am a good boy and I am not going to let her down. I've already packed a few bits and pieces, my Pâté , biscuits, you know boring stuff like that. If I didn't know different I would say her indoors is trying to get rid of me but she loves me too much. Bet she blubbers  when I wave goodbye.... My only problem is I have cream bits, purple bits, lime green bits and even some dark red bits all over me. Anybody know how I can get them off apart from scratching or brushing them? Both pull so much it's too painful. Her indoors says I wait till she's just finished a wall and go and lay against it. Yeh like shes painted that many walls.! Well as long as nanny recognises me I will be okay. Like a true grandog I have promised to NOT SIT ON THE PATIO OR DINING TABLE, and when I want to go indoors I WILL USE THE DOOR AND NOT GO THROUGH THE WINDOW! That is the kitchen window, and not the patio doors...... See I knew that would impress you. Her indoors says that Nannys can be quite strict so I am to behave... As if I would do anything else! Anyway better go and check what toys and such like I can take. As long as she makes sure I don't starve I shall be happy. Will keep u up to date. Cool runnings Gryff

Canine hallucinations

That's it, I am never ever painting again. It was either the fumes or the homemade ice cream last night but I had one of the worst dreams ever!!! I would much rather it was the painting that was responsible, or even the FIVE thunderstorms we had last night but the ice cream was gorgeous.... Not bad for a farty old troll ( oops sorry I meant warty old troll),  her indoors has always taught us about bangs and strange noises  so we were okay, but she forgot to teach the cats. Fatcat, Misscat, and Cocoa were literally hanging from the light fittings. We tried no lights all lights, loud music but in the end we put them all in Ghosties big crate, with him as their teddy paw, and shut the door on them till they went to sleep with him. Ghostie being a rescue and very nervous was an absolute star, he kept kissing them and nudging them till they calmed down,and them we took our chance at some sleep. Well I dreamt that I was just coming in from a walk, into a strange kitchen... And beside the sink was one of those old fashioned plastic three tier veggie towers. When I looked down by the water bowl in front of the sink there were what looked like little pale turquoise pearls rolling around. The more I looked the more I thought I could see legs on them, and then suddenly the back door flew open and in marched about five huge massive shiney TURQUOISE cockroach things. They must have been about a foot long each one , and they were all lifting the same leg at the same time, just like an army. Any way I panicked and ran out as they started off under the veggie rack. I must have been so scared because her indoors said my paws were going so fast she thought I would wake up.  Well I am going to tell her that no way is she having that colour in anywhere you will find me. I mean that's the colour of the lid on our butter and that quite put me off my pâté and toast this morning.  I mean it guys.... Be careful of shiney giant turquoise cockroaches in somebody else's kitchen . Hope u all made it through the thunderstorms ok. Cool runnings Gryff